Shinra High School Host Club
by Flying-Teacups
Summary: Cloud is the new honor student at Shinra academy for the super rich and fabulous, after accidentally braking a vase that cost 8 million gil he is roped into becoming part of the Shirnra host club to pay back his debt ... chaos ensues. Warning: Shounen Ai
1. Starting Today, You Are A Host!

**Hi! Teacups here! i present to you Shinra high school host club...oh yeah i went there! XD**

**Warnings: Crack, fluff and shounen ai (the usual)**

**Disclaimer: i own neither Final fantasy (Sephiroth and Cloud didn't get married) nor Ouran, call me crazy i'm partial to Mori X Kyouya**

_Italics = Cloud thinking or Genesis inner theatre._

* * *

**Shinra high school host club**

Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time at the elite private academy, Shinra high.

Sighing as he closed the door leading to a magnificent crowded library, filled with chatter, a scruffy looking boy, wearing a nasty navy many sizes to big jumper, and worn slacks, turned and walked dejectedly up a red velvet carpeted staircase with ornate golden railings, towards a giant carved stone crest.

_You'd think with four libraries that at least one of them would be quiet…._

Turning down an elaborate corridor with marble pillars, framing large bay windows containing pain upon pain of sugar spun glass.

The boy paused as a flock of white collared doves fluttered past the windows, tilting his head slightly crowned with a mass of scruffy Chocobo blond locks that looked as if they had been cut awkwardly at different lengths as it fell in every direction and appeared to be attempting to defy Newton's laws of gravity. His round thick glasses glinted as they reflected the sunshine of the early spring sunshine.

_I wonder how you are in heaven dad… I can't believe it's been ten years since then._

Sighing once again, the boy continued along his way, his slightly too long trousers trailing along the marble floors, pausing once again, the boy spotted a seemingly abandoned music room. Hesitating slightly he reached out and with a small hand on an impossibly large handle opened the large cream paneled door with relative ease.

_Well at least it should be a quiet place to study…_

Alas for the poor studious boy as for when he opened the door he was greeted by a sight that would alter his life, not that he knew that of course.

Closing one eye as a slight draft carried some rose petals from inside the room out into the corridor, opening his eyes behind fogged spectacles, the scruffy looking boy blinked, once then twice, as a group of melodic voices chorused in harmony,

"Welcome"

"Oh wow it's a boy"

The scruffy blond seemingly frozen in place could only gawk at the sight presented to him and splutter half apologies.

Before him were a cluster of the most attractive boys the poor Chocobo headed boy had ever seen in his meager 15 years.

In the center of the cluster a red haired boy was seated, he had pale blue eyes and a welcoming half smirk, to his right a tall boy with long sliver hair, he had acid green eyes that were silted like a cats, but they were concealed by a pair of frameless designer spectacles, that did nothing but enhance his slightly sinister appearance.

To the read haired one's left were three silver haired boys, they had paler silver hair than the tall bespectacled boy, and their eyes were bluer than acid green, instead having a vivid jade center and an azure rim. But there was still a striking family resemblance.

The tallest of the three (though not notably, more like just a hairs breadth taller than the others) was a slender boy with feminine features curved into a wicked grin, long silvered hair hung feathered to his shoulder blades, the second tallest was also the broadest he was much more muscled and had his hair cropped back in a way which made its stick up at the front as though he had gelled it, he had a more dopy grin on his face than the others, the smallest of the three was noticeably the most charismatic, his body language screamed that nothing could faze him, although he was shorter his smirk was more aggressive and he openly winked at the terrified Chocobo imitator, his hair was shoulder length and fell across his face.

To the right of the acid green eyed boy who had a more archaic smile upon his face, which was actually more of an archaic smirk, there were two dark haired boys, the taller and broader of the two stood at a similar height to the cat eyed boy (although he looked bigger, because of his build). He was clean-shaven and had a stoic face, but for a young man he had deep smile lines about his eyes event though his face was expressionless.

The second young man had a large goofy smile on his face, which was boyish and had welcoming violet eyes where his companion (of whom he was cling to in a sort of glomping piggy back even though he couldn't of been that much shorter) he had an X shaped scar on his left cheek and was cuddling rather childishly a stuffed Chocobo toy.

The young men all had features that screamed of good breeding and aristocracy and all were uncommonly handsome.

"T-this is a h-host club? S-sorry I…uh'll go now…"

The spectacled boy's glass glinted ominously before, in a low voice that seemed to purr and was obviously dripping with evil intent and ulterior motives, addressing the scruffy looking boy who was frantically scrabbling at the door in attempt to escape.

Ignoring the terrified commoner, the boy, looking towards the three Cheshire cat like grinning trio, addressed them,

"Loz, Yazoo, Kadaj, I believe this young man is in the same class as you are?"

Answering and shrugging in sync, "Yeah, but he's shy so we don't know much about him…"

Addressing the poor vertically challenged male who was still trying frantically to open the ornate golden handle seemingly forgetting in his panic that the door opened inwards not outwards.

"Well that's not very polite. Welcome to the Shinra high host club, Mr. Honor student."

The red head shot out of his seat, exclaiming loudly, "Wow, you must be Cloud Strife, right? You must be the exceptional honor student we've heard about!"

The blond froze and turned before stuttering, "H-How did you know m-my name?"

The evil looking boy scribbled something into a black folder unnervingly; he smiled a sweet smile that seemed horridly out of place on his face, before replying manor of factually:

"Why you're infamous of course. It's not every day a commoner manages to gain a place at such an elite private school, Mr. Strife. You must have quit the audacious nerve."

The newly dubbed Mr. Strife seemed to flinch, as the words Audacious commoner seemed to hang over his head. Hesitantly he spoke, "W-well thank you I guess?"

The red head wrapped an arm around Clouds shoulders in an overly familiar manner accentuating the height difference, there was about a head and a half between them, before continuing in an overly dramatic manner,

"Why you're welcome of course! You're a hero to other poor people Strife! You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy!"

Cloud seemingly realising that the red head was standing way too far into his personal bubble, attempted to scurry away to one side only to be followed by the red haired megalomaniac who flicked his hair somehow producing golden sparkles, baffling the poor scholarship student.

"It must be hard for you to be constantly be looked down upon by others!"

Scurrying once again out of the reach of the crazy rich person the boy replied in an emotionless deadpan:

"I think your taking this poor thing a bit too far, Sir."

Encroaching once again into the blond's "bubble" the flamboyant red head continued his lamenting speech,

"None the matter! Long live the poor! We welcome you poor man, into our world of beauty!" finishing with a flourish, roses seemed to frame his flamboyant.

The studious boy's response was turning and walking away, murmuring to himself, "I am out of here…" Before being grabbed around the waist and spun into the hard chest of one boyish hosts.

"Hey where do you think you're going Chocobo head! You must be a super hero or something? That's so cool!"

Turning in the strong hold around his waist, to glare at the ecstatic puppy like boy, the captured blond deadpanned,

"I'm not a hero I'm an honor student…. AND WHO ARE CALLING CHOCOBO HEAD?""

Wiggling out of the taller boys hold, upon escaping the boy turned to see the violet eyed boy pouting and looking very much like a kicked puppy, whilst clinging to the stone faced boys legs, all in all looking rather silly, _and yet somehow adorable, _Cloud kicked himself mentally as soon as the thought arose.

Cloud was soon distracted when the Red head (whom had previously finished his rant) exclaimed loudly but in a flamboyant mock soliloquy.

"Who would have thought it though? Who knew the new transfer student would be so openly gay?"

Cloud turned to look at the red head baffled, but then froze when his "Cloud bubble" was entered once more. _Huh, say what?_

"So! Tell me what kind of guys are you into! Do you like the strong silent type?-"

The exuberant young man pointed to the stoic boy who was taller and broader than the others, upon hearing his type, the boy looked up and gave Cloud a gaze that was riddled with unreadable emotion most discernibly pride and honor.

"—The boyish type?—"

The man-puppy looked up at him from where he was clinging to the 'strong and silent type' he grinned violet eyes lighting up with unspoken laughter as he waved childishly.

"—How about the mischievous type?-"

The three silver haired devils smirked evil smirks filled with mischievous intent; they suited their type, though the smaller one looked like he wanted to watch him squirm, Cloud shifted uncomfortably under the trio's gaze.

"-Or do you like the cool type?"

The boy with the longest silver hair smirked imperiously at Cloud, his glasses glinting ominously, a frigid aura surrounding him, just daring Cloud to assume that he wasn't "the cool type" for a good reason, _Urgh more like the frigid type? _Cloud thought despairingly. Before backing away stuttering,

"It's not like that! I w-was just looking for a quiet place to study!"

Cloud squeaked (in a very manly way) when the red head cupped his face in one hand and grazed his thumb along his bottom lip, tilting his head up to blink at the owner of the offensive hand.

"But perhaps maybe, you're into a guy like me?"

Cloud shrieked tearing himself from the grip of the flirtatious boy _with no regard for personal space!_

Stumbling as he hurled himself backwards the blond boy collided into a ornately carved stand with a painful _thump_, but barely noticed as he dislodged an expensive looking vase, the boys expressive eyes widened as he reached desperately to grasp the handle in time, and gasping slightly when his fingers just grazed the handle before the vase hit the oak panel flooring and shattered.

"Ugh! Now you've done it commoner the bidding on that vase was supposed to start at 8 million gil!"

The blond froze once more at what the short hair third of the trio exclaimed, murmuring to himself, "8 million gil how many thousands is that, how many thousands are even in a million!"

Sighing resolutely and resting his head on the stand he was still partially slumped over before turning and saying hesitantly, "I am going to have to pay you back…."

The tallest third spoke snidely whilst the shortest spoke with curiosity mingled with mischievous mirth, "With what money you can't even afford to buy the school uniform!"

"What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway"

The demon with his pen scratching furiously in his ominous folder of doom, asked mockingly, "Well what are we going to do then, Genesis?"

The newly aforementioned Genesis sat upon the thrown he was previously placed upon before answering in a serious manner that was far from his previous manner; it suited more of a Shakespearian actor than a red haired privet school student.

"Well there's a famous saying you might of heard Commoner Strife: when in Banora, do as the Banoran's do! Starting today you are the host clubs dog!

The last thought Cloud had before slipping into the abyss of unconsciousness was:

_I don't know if I can handle this Dad? I've been captured by a bunch of boys who are calling themselves a host club…_

**OoOoOoO**

Later that day the expanse of the third music room was filled with chattering girls drinking tea from antique fine boned china and nibbling delicately on cake, displayed on ornate silver trays.

At the center poised elegantly on the red velvet chairs, was Genesis on either side of him were beautiful girls, and on the other Georgian sofa opposite sat three equally beautiful girls.

In a voice that chimed demurely like the ringing of bells one of the girls asked:

"Genesis, pray tell me what's your favorite song?"

Genesis smirked and answered, "Why the one that reminds me of you of course."

Another asked hesitantly, her voice softer than the other, "I-I baked you a cake today, W-would you like to taste some?"

Genesis smiled handsomely and cupped the side of her face replying, "Only if you'd feed it to me darling."

The girls blushed and murmured excitedly, "Oh Genesis…. Wow you're so dreamy!"

The girl sitting on the other side of Genesis asked in a voice that screamed of arrogance, "May I have a word with you Genesis?"

Turning towards her the "princely type" boy smiled encouragingly at her, as she rested her head in her hand and lent against one of the sofa arms, before continuing,

"I've recently heard that the host clubs keeping a little kitten without a pedigree"

Genesis smiled missing the cruelty of her words before answering, "Well I wouldn't call him that—" The red head looked over his shoulder to see the new dog of the host club approaching him he waved and continued, "—Why hello little piglet! Thanks for doing the shopping for us! Did you get everything on our list?"

The horn-rimmed clad boy sweat dropped thinking, _P-piglet? What the? _Sighing the boy made his way over, the brown paper bag clutched to his chest hesitantly he passed a bottle of instant coffee to the exuberant "king of the host club."

Confused the said king asked, "Hey wait a minute what is this?"

Cloud looked at him oddly, "It's just what it looks like. Its coffee….."

Genesis with one arm slung behind him, continued, "I have never seen this brand before is it the type that's already ground?"

"… No, it's instant."

The girls looked at home and repeated disbelievingly, "Instant?"

Genesis suddenly sat forward cradling the jar of instant coffee, "WOW! I've heard of this before! Its commoner coffee! You just add hot water!"

By now a group of girls had gathered opposite the 'King', one of them whispered conspiringly to another, "I never knew there was such a thing!" The other replied, "So it's true then poor people don't even have enough time to grind their own coffee beans!" The gaggle of girls nodded in sync.

Somehow whilst Cloud wasn't looking the rest of the host club members had gathered around the back of the sofa.

Sephiroth intoned, "Commoners are pretty smart."

Kadaj read the label and exclaimed "100 grams from 300 gil!" Yazoo grinned and pointed out "That's a lot less that we normally pay!"

Cloud pouted defensively answering, "I'll go back and get something else! Excuse me for not buying you expensive coffee beans!" he ended up muttering the last part.

Genesis raised a hand to signify Cloud to halt, before standing and proclaiming:

"Nahh I'll keep it. I'm going to try it! I shall drink this coffee!" He raised the 'commoners coffee' into the air displaying for all to see.

Cloud sweat dropped when the rest of the club clapped as though Genesis had proclaimed to save the world of something that was imposing imminent distruction.

"Alright Cloud! Get over here and make some of this commoner's coffee!" Genesis ordered happily Cloud sighed and went to follow his orders. Thinking to himself: _I hate all these damn rich people!_

The girl that had spoken before out down her tea cup and spoke lowly, "Oh Genesis, now you're taking the joke to far! You don't have to drink it just because he bought it! You don't have the stomach to drink that crap."

Cloud looked at her mildly insulted, she then smiled up at him and spoke in a sickly sweet voice, "Sorry, I must have been talking to myself."

Cloud glanced at her from behind his glasses wondering, _what's her problem? _Genesis called again, and Cloud scurried off send one last glance at the sour princess.

Cloud pored two teaspoon amounts of coffee powder into each ornate teacup, moving along he poured the hot water in, purposefully ignoring the sign that somehow appeared that said "Commoners coffee as demonstrated by a commoner!"

Genesis exclaimed loudly as Cloud offered the tray of steaming cups to the girls, "Let the tasting begin!"

One of the girls murmured, "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff!" another replied, "I'm afraid if I drink this my father will yell at me!"

Genesis cupped the girls face and asked: "What if I let you drink it from my mouth?" the girl stuttered a reply; "T-then I would drink it," Whilst the other girl's screamed their approval with hearts dancing in their eyes.

Cloud thought absentmindedly watching the whole scene: _I still don't understand his deal…._

As Cloud moved between tables, he spotted the trio, entertaining a couple of girls. Kadaj was laughing and telling a story, "—and he had this nightmare that made him bolt right out of bed!" Loz welled up and exclaimed, "Kadaj! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone that!" Yazoo cooed gently and soothed Loz stroking his hair murmuring, "Don't cry Loz!" Kadaj froze and then wrapped his arms around Loz murmuring, "I'm sorry Loz, I didn't mean it please don't cry!"

Cloud watched as the girl's squeed (a technical term used often when describing the high pitched sound fangirls have been known to make when they consider something "Moé!") _a Wutanese technical term meaning "budding" often used to refer to something adorable.(1) _ Clouds mind inputted the information at the word. _I don't really get why they're all so excited,_ he thought in reference to the 'customers'.

The puppy like boy known as Zackary fair called out rubbing one of his eyes and yawning from where, he was clinging to the tall stoic boy, Angeal Hewley, "Sorry we're running late! I was waiting for Angeal to finish his Kendo class and I kinda fell asleep!" Yawning widely the violet eyes snapped open sleepily, the tall boy murmured in a very low voice, "You are not completely awake." Zack grinned at him from where he was deposited on the sofa, "Well it's not my fault you're getting boring Angeal!" Angeal did not dignify it with a response he merely, locked the whining Zack into a headlock ruffling his hair, Zack cried out indignantly "Not the hair!" whilst the girls cooed at him being adorable.

"I can hardly believe _that_is a third year student!" Cloud muttered to himself, but jumped slightly when Sephiroth appeared behind him, Sephiroth was part of the "Akumu" family, which quiet literally translated to "nightmare" _Suits him_ Cloud thought absent mindedly. (2)

Sephiroth spoke in a sort of deadly purr, which reminded Cloud faintly of the big cats around Neibelheim, "Zachary may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy. Angeal's allure is his strong and silent disposition. "

Cloud looked at the scary man, that black book was starting to creep him out, _what does he even write in that thing?_

Suddenly there was a loud exclamation of "COCOBO HEAD!" and Cloud was suddenly once again enveloped into the arms of one Zack fair. Laughing delightedly at Clouds wiggling in attempt to escape, the puppy exclaimed, "Hey spiky head! Do you want to go eat some cake with me?"

Head still spinning the dazed boy murmured, "Thanks but I don't really feel like cake at the moment…"

Zack was not deterred! "Well then! Would you like to hold my Chocó?"

The blond boy looked up at him confused, blinking blearily as his glasses slipped to the bottom of his nose revealing the glowing blue eyes. Suddenly a soft toy shaped like a Chocobo with matching big blue eyes, was deposited in his arms as the bouncy boy bounded away calling back, "Cutie, for a cutie!"

Cloud looked down at the yellow stuffed bird looking up at him; glasses still perched in the end of his nose, holding the toy at eye level he murmured to it:

"I guess you are kind of cute, huh?" _Not sure what he meant by "cutie for a cutie", though…._

Sephiroth smirked scribbling something down in his elegant scrawl before addressing Cloud once more (who was now cuddling the Chocobo to his chest).

"You'll notice that the club utilizes each man's unique characteristic's for each of our quests enjoyment, Just so you know Genesis is number one around here, He's our King, his demand rate is 70%"

Cloud looked up at the "nightmare" as he spoke, before looking out over the host club, murmuring, and "What's this world coming too?"

Sephiroth turned to smirk evilly down at Cloud, "Just so you know, to pay of the 8 million gil debt you owe us you will act as the Shinra host clubs dog until you graduate-" The smirk became a smile "—I'm sorry I meant our errand boy."

Cloud stared up at him flabbergasted, jaw dropping as Sephiroth continued, "You can try to run away if you like. But just so you know my family employs a private task force of over a hundred officers…"

Adjusting his glasses the silver haired demon, asked slyly, "By the way do you have a passport?"

Cloud twitched, at the hidden meaning _you won't be able to stay in Midgar…_

Genesis seemed to appear from nowhere saying as he blew cold air onto the back of Clouds neck causing him to jump, "You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerd…"

"P-please don't do that again….?"

"You need a makeover or no girls going to look twice at you…." Genesis continued ignoring Clouds plea but exclaimed loudly after Clouds reply:

"Yeah, well I'm not really trying to get girls to look at me"

"Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing! You have to be a gentleman and please the ladies…. Like me!"

Genesis mysteriously produced a rose from nowhere and quoted a line from the famous play loveless:

"_The most profound mystery is the Gift of the Goddess and in pursuit of this gift we set on a journey and take flight. Hopeless as it may seem we stand and carry onward with the ripples of water that surface on our hearts."(1)_

"I don't really see why it matters anyway?-" Cloud glanced up at the flamboyant boy, "—appearances and labels, its what's on the inside that counts anyway? So why should I worry about my appearance?"

"I don't even understand why you even have a host club like this."

Genesis nodded sagely before continuing, "It's a cruel reality isn't it? It's not often that god creates a perfect person like Moi! Beautiful inside and out!" Genesis hugged himself dramatically before plowing on with his speech.

Cloud stared at him with one eyebrow raised, "Say what?"

"I understand your feelings as not everyone is as blessed as I am, but you must console your selves, otherwise how could you go on living?"

Cloud stood back and watched the scene unfolded utterly confused as the boy ranted about beauty:

"Think about this Cloud! Why do you think they put works of art in a museum? Because beauty should be shared with the world! And thus those who are beautiful should—"

Cloud was only half listening, _there's a word to describe him but I just can't think of it…_

"—This is why I created this club! For those who are starved of beauty!—"

_What is it? I can't remember!_

"—For those working day and night!—"

_Pain in the neck... No it's another word….._

"—And so I have chosen to share my beauty with the world!—"

_Aww man I wish I could remember that word!_

(The trio who were walking past spotted the scene so with the identical scary smiles they headed towards the thinking commoner.)

"—Think about this Cloud! When placing a glass on a table extend your pinky to create a cushion to muffle the sound, a gentleman should never have a noisy glass!"

_There's something that fits him perfectly…._

The trio peered around Cloud as the deranged Beauty obsessed man came close as well, suddenly Clouds head shot up and he exclaimed:

"I've got it! Obnoxious!"

The red head defeated immediately and ended up curled up in a corner glooming over Clouds rebuttal.

"Err… I'm sorry Genesis, Sir?"

Cloud addressed the depressed boy, feeling bad for making him upset instantly, the trio laughed in harmony as Kadaj and Yazoo both threw an arm around Clouds shoulders where Loz wrapped his around his waist completely encompassing Clouds small form.

Kadaj chuckled and patted Cloud on the head with his spare arm, saying: "You're a hero aright!"

Cloud grumbled silently, arms tightening around the stuffed Chocobo of Zack's.

_He really is a pain in the neck…_

"I'm sorry Sir; your speech did spark a small cord with me, albeit a tiny one."

Genesis stood up and turned around beaming before forming an L with his finders and resting his chin in it before exclaiming and extending that hand:

"It did! Well let me teach you more! My friend."

_Well he got over that quick…_

Yazoo spoke from the trio: "Err… Boss –""Call me King!" "—you can teach him all the basics' of hosting, but he's not going to get very far if he doesn't look the part."

Relinquishing his hold at the same time as the other three he approached Clouds front muttering, "Maybe if we took off his glasses it might help?" He then froze in place staring and Clouds face.

Cloud exclaimed loudly: "Hey I need those! The lights different here in Midgar and it hurts my eyes I had special contacts but I left them in Neibelheim!"

Suddenly Genesis exclaimed "Why you're as pretty as a girl!" before snapping his fingers.

"Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo!" The tree of them saluted and Yazoo and Kadaj grabbed Cloud's wrists pulling him whilst Loz pushed his back in the direction of the changing rooms.

"Sephiroth! My hair stylist!" Sephiroth was already punching in the phone number on his phone.

"Angeal! Go to the eye doctor and get him some contact lenses!"

Angeal took off in that direction, whilst Zack stood up straighter with stars in his eyes, "What about me Genny-pie?" "Puppy!" "Yes Sir!" "You-go eat cake."

Zack sat in the corner pouting with his stuffed Chocobo (which he had appropriated from Cloud as the "Remnant brothers" dragged him off) sitting on one of the chairs opposite him propped up by pillows.

"It's just you and me Chocó, everyone else said they were too busy."

**OoOoOoO **

In the changing rooms Loz presented a boy's uniform to Cloud (whose arms were still being held by the other two) who exclaimed, "Change into this!"

"What? Why?"

"Don't ask questions just change!"

"Fine I'll change but you three need to get out!" As the three were hurled bodily out of the changing room, they looked at each other before saying simultaneously, "Geeze he's strong for a little guy!"

As the others arrived a little bit later, Cloud drew back the curtain asking hesitantly, "Sephiroth sir? Are you sure it's okay for me to keep this uniform?"

The sight that greeted the infamous host club was draw dropping:

Standing there, shoulders hunched slightly fiddling with the curtain shyly, was a gorgeous young boy. Clouds hair had been trimmed and styled properly and it now framed his face although it still stuck up in nearly every direction, it just was more sedate.

Large cerulean eyes peered up at the host club shining with innocent trust as he asked again, "Are you really sure?" his face now unhidden by his large glasses was petit and cute like a girls should be in the host clubs opinion, he had the sort of aura that screamed "Mother me! I'm venerable and cute looking" he reminded the host club strongly of a baby Chocobo.

"What?" He asked again before yelping, as he was glomped (again another technical term for a jumping and clinging cuddle) by Genesis, who proclaimed loudly that he was the cutest thing the red head loveless enthusiast had ever laid eyes on.

"Chocobo head! You look so cute!" exclaimed Zack loudly, whereas the creepy trio merely said in sync in their strangely harmonic voices, "If we had known that's how you really looked we would have helped you out sooner!"

"Who knows-" Sephiroth practically purred smirking, "Perhaps he might draw in some costumers?"

Genesis exclaimed once again: "That was exactly what I was thinking!"

_Rubbish…._ Was the thought going through everyone's head.

"Our errand boy is moving up the ranks! Starting today you are an official member of the host club!"

Cloud gawked at him as Genesis pointed a perfectly kept finger at him,

"I will personally train you to become a first class host! If you can get 100 costumers to request your service we will completely forget about your 8 million gil debt!"

Cloud sweat dropped murmuring, "A Host?"

**OoOoOoO**

"So tell me Cloud do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?" one girl asked.

"I'm curious what kind of products do you use on your skin?" asked another.

"Yes! It so pretty!" exclaimed the third.

_I can't do this!_ Thought Cloud furiously staring at the three girls smiling at him, _I have absolutely no idea what to do!_

"So why did you choose to join the host club, Cloud?" they asked in sync.

_Calm down Cloud, you just need to get 100 costumers to assign to you and they'll forget about your 8milllion gil debt, I know just the story!_

Genesis looked over at cloud only to see the girls and him engrossed in a deep conversation, Cloud was looking down at his hands which were fisted in his trousers, one of the girls spoke:

"I see your father got really sick and passed away ten years ago and now your mother earns the living, but who does the chores if your mothers always working?"

Cloud looked up and smiled before saying, "I do! Muti has always been a bit hopeless with these things and Dad was more of a house-husband than anything! When he got sick he left me loads of recipes saying "Cloud! Look after your mother; you know she's a bit too useless to look after herself, 'kays?" Muti ranted for ages about how she wasn't useless! It was really fun to learn all the recipes especially because Dad would always put little drawings on and he would always write down exactly what he was thinking at the time!"

Cloud laughed musically he was always so scatter brained! Drove Muti up the wall!"

The girls seemed to be hanging on his every word, one of the asked hesitantly as though afraid Cloud would go back into his shell, "What does Muti mean?"

Cloud looked at her Hmm-ing "Oh Its Niebel for Mama really, I grew up there! Dad loved those mountains 'because that's where he met his "Love of his life!"

The girls looked at each other before the same one asked "Cloud do you think it will be okay if we request to sit with you tomorrow?"

Cloud grinned blush dusting his cheeks slightly as he chirped, "Sure! That would really help me out ladies!"

The other hosts had been watching the little conversation with awe, "How is he so popular?" Kadaj murmured Yazoo asked, "Is there some secret technique we don't know about?" Loz shook his head saying, "No way big brother, he's not using any technique!"

"He's a Natural." Claimed Sephiroth in answer to the trio's questions.

"No training needed" quipped Genesis, before the mean girl from earlier spoke saying, "Have you forgotten about me? Genesis?"

To which Genesis replied with a flourish, "Of course not my Princess, I'm just a little concerned about our newest member." She sniffed dismissively before saying slyly, "Well that's obvious, you sure have been keeping an eye on him."

"Why of course!" Genesis replied smoothly, "after all I am training him to be a good host like me. It would reflect badly on his mentor should something go awry."

Genesis clicked his fingers loudly and gestured to Cloud, "Cloud—"he called, "Come here for a minute."

Cloud excused himself from the ladies at his table and made his way over to where Genesis and his sour faced lady were seated. Genesis then introduced the lady:

"Cloud I would like you to meet someone, this is my regular guest, Princess Ianokoji, I'd like you to say hello."

_..Huh it's that girl from earlier…. Oh well smile and continue…_

"Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you." Cloud smiled warmly at her, before being suddenly enveloped in a bone-crushing hug from Genesis that spun Cloud round in circles. Announcing:

"That was so cute! Super good! Amazingly good! You're just the cutest little thing! Just like a baby chocobo! So Cu~te!"

Struggling to breath Cloud called out desperately to the first person he saw, "Hewley sir! Please help me!"

Angeal reacted immediately; he extracted Cloud from Genesis hold in one fell swoop and held Cloud up out of Genesis' reach.

Genesis pouted childishly, "You didn't have to do that! Give him back! Come one my little Chocobo come back to daddy!" He reached up for cloud only for him to be bulled further from is reach, all the while "Princess" Ianokoji, glared at Cloud who was completely oblivious.

**OoOoOoO**

Later that day Cloud was looking for his bag by one of the large bay windows in front of the clubroom, but he couldn't find it, looking out the window he spotted it.

Someone had thrown his bag into the lily pond; there amongst the water lilies lay his bag with its contents floating across the pond disturbing the gentle ripples being created by the fountain of a red lion with flames for a tail, and water gushing out between its stone jaws.

Cloud gasped when he saw the state of his belongings, groaning and taking off tearing down the hallway, "Damn it! I thought there was no bulling at this school! Urgh!"

As he ran he passed the "Sour Princess" and paused when she spoke, "Oh it's you. I bet you love having Genesis giving you a makeover and fawning over you but it's useless you know? You're always going to be a second class citizen."

She then walked away without taking a backwards glance cloud paused before running off.

Cloud sighed to himself; _I have a feeling that girl is the one who threw my bag in the pond. Gahh! I can't be bothered with that right now! I have to find my wallet or I won't have money for lunch this week._

Bending over with his trouser legs rolled up Cloud attempted to find his wallet at the bottom of the pond he was glad though that the water wasn't that deep frowning as he moved some more lily stems out of the way.

"Hey commoner! You've got a lot of nerve skipping out on club duties you know!"

Genesis called form the side of the pond; Cloud ignored him as it would only encourage the lecture if he responded. Genesis spoke again, "Hey why is your bag all wet?"

Cloud answered this time, though not looking up, until he heard a big splash, "I-It's no big deal, I got it!"

Cloud straightened suddenly up when he heard the splash and turned to see Genesis in the water with him with his trousers rolled up Cloud yelped, "What do you think you're doing! You'll get wet!"

Genesis smiled as he searched the bottom of the pond and said, "Well a little bit of water never harmed anyone did it?" His smile became almost forlorn as he continued, "people are always telling me that I'm dripping with good looks, eh? Found it!" He straightened up and handed the wallet out to Cloud asking, is this what you were looking for?"

Cloud looked at him as though seeing him for the first time Genesis Grinned and teased, "What's the matter not falling for me are you?" Cloud Snorted swiping the wallet from his hand whilst quipping, "Who would?"

"Why was you're bag in the pond anyway?" Genesis questioned, Cloud fidgeted under his curious gaze, "I guess I must have accidentally dropped it out the window at some point?"

**OoOoOoO**

"Oh really, that must have been terrible whatever did you do? I don't know what I would have done if it had been my bag."

The ever-sarcastic tones of Ianokoji ran out through the clubroom, Cloud sighed as he stared at his costumer who was sipping her tea; _I wonder why she assigned to me? It's obvious she doesn't like me…_

"And you actually made Genesis search that dirty old pond with you? You've got some nerve, you do realise that Genesis is a blue blood not a commoner like you? You do realise the only reason Genesis is paying any attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman right?"

… _So that's its….._

"Don't think he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

"You're jealous," Cloud murmured in realisation. Ianokoji froze and then Cloud found himself practically pulled over the table and on top of the girl as the table fell to the side and the china smashed Cloud froze as the girl screamed.

"NO CLOUD! LEAVE ME ALONE! SOMEBODY HELP ME? HE JUST ATTACKED ME!"

Cloud froze terrified, as the girl continued screaming, "SOMEONE SAVE ME! SOMEONE TEACH THIS COMONER A LESSON!"

Suddenly three jugs filled with water were poured over their heads, Cloud gasped at the cold of the water, whereas the girl just gasped in outrage she asked, "Why did you do that?" to the trio who just grinned at her evilly.

Cloud sat back as he had tried to prevent her getting wet, it didn't really work so she was still soaked. Slowly Genesis walked over and offered the girl a hand up, once he set her on her feet she spoke, "Do something Genesis, Cloud just assaulted me!"

Genesis just brushed some wet hair from her eyes and tucking it behind her ear before saying, "I'm disappointed in you Princess, you threw Clouds bag into the pond didn't you?" Cloud looked at Genesis startled as he had thought the red headed blue blood had forgotten.

Ianokoji just yelped defensively, "You don't know that! Do you have any proof that I did?"

Genesis sighed and cupped the side of her face in his hands and said softly, "You know, you're a beautiful girl, but you just not well mannered enough for this club. If there's one thing I know, Cloud is not that kind of a man."

Sephiroth pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of is nose before saying, "I am afraid we are going to have to ask you to leave."

Ianokoji welled up with tears with a final shriek of "Genesis you idiot!" she fled from the host club never to return.

Genesis turned to Cloud and teasingly said, "Hmmmm I wonder, how I am going to punish you, as it is your fault after all!"

Pointing at Cloud Genesis proclaimed, "Your quota is now one thousand!"

Cloud Gawked at him, stuttering "O-one thousand?"

Genesis held out a hand saying "come on—"pulling Cloud to his feet winking he said, "—I have high expectations for you my little rookie!"

Cloud just looked at him confused with one eyebrow raised. Sephiroth held out a red paper bag with cord handles to Cloud saying, "Sorry this is the only spare we have, but it's better than a wet one right?"

Cloud peeked inside the bag, he then looked up at Sephiroth smiled and said, "Thanks, I'm going to go get changed now okay you guys?" he looked pointedly at the Trio who were grinning wickedly once more.

**OoOoOoO**

As he entered the changing rooms Genesis called out "Cloud! I've brought you some towels." gently he pulled back the curtain to reveal:

Cloud just finishing pulling a chemise like undergarment over his head, turning whilst adjusting the slip so it fell properly he said "thanks—"but Genesis had already let the curtain close.

"Cloud…." He called apprehensively, "Are you a girl?"

Cloud snorted from behind the curtain, as there were more sounds of rustling cloth, "No you idiot! It's the spare uniform Sephiroth gave me."

Genesis stuttered as Cloud pulled back the curtain dressed in Shinra academy's girls uniform, complete with the pale yellow bell skirt and neatly tied red ribbon.

Genesis spluttered, "B-but the under dress t-thing?"

Cloud sighed and brushed imaginary dust of the bottom of the skirt, before saying, "You've never worn a dress like this before have you Sir? The lace petty coats can be really uncomfortable so you wear a slip underneath, duh."

Genesis squawked, "Of course I haven't! I'm a boy! But have you?"

Cloud shrugged nonchalantly, "yeah I had a friend in middle school who always made me try on her new design's she made in textiles, that and Muti always wanted a daughter."

Genesis half mumbled, "But, But…"

"By the way Sir, I have to say I thought you were pretty cool earlier!"

Genesis practically collapsed blushing furiously as Cloud blinked up at him obliviously. Zack giggled at "Genny-pie's expression. Whilst Sephiroth murmured to himself whilst writing something down, "I may be wrong but we could be witnessing the beginning of love here…" The trio sniggered in time.

Cloud sighed and smiled, "Oh please Sir, being a host isn't all that bad, and I can still work like this besides I have to pay you back right? Besides, being fussed over by a bunch of girls isn't all that much of a hardship.

Genesis exclaimed suddenly, "But … But your gay aren't you?"

Cloud looked at him flatly, "Sir, in my opinion it's better to fall in love with someone for who they are rather than what sex they are right?"

Genesis nodded stunned to silence.

Cloud just smiled and chirped happily, "I suppose we'll be working together from now on right Sir's?"

* * *

**Dada! i'm done!**

**(1) real japanese honest totally true**

**(2) ditto**

**(3) Loveless quote from crisis core ^ ^**

**few that took longer than i expected... only 23 chapters left to go...**

**if you prod me enough i'll most likely update soon otherwise updates will be random and most likely far between.**

**Ta~teacups**

**Ps. Please review!**

**P.P.S. No flames!**


	2. The Job of a High School Host!

**Hi! Eeb-tan will be uploading this as teacups has run away to Rome leaving the chapter with her beta...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, **

**Note from beta (who is technically not a real beta, just a random friend :D): I have _finally _got it up! I really need to speed up... This is out two days after it's supposed to be . Sorry readers!... And sorry for any mistakes I may have overlooked, and possible comma spam O.o; I don't have much editing expirience xD... Wishing Teacups a great holiday *dreams of Italian food...mmmmmmm...***

**_Italics: Cloud thinking or Genesis's inner theatre._**

**Shinra High School Host Club**

It was a clear, early spring afternoon when the bell on the school clock tower chimed the hour, signifying, in his opinion, Cloud's doom.

Sitting surrounded by his schoolbooks in a relatively quiet corner of the extensive library, in the East Wing of Shinra Academy, Cloud sighed resolutely, and shut his notebook.

Checking his wristwatch as he trudged towards the third music room, he thought despairingly: _I'm never going to hear the end of it if I show up late… _Frowning as he realised that it was already ten past the hour and club activity started at quarter past, Cloud took off at a run, unaware of what was waiting him upon entry to the infamous room.

Grinning slightly, he re-checked his watch: _made it!_ Despite being out of breath, Cloud straightened up and re-adjusted his bag of tombs the teachers referred to as textbooks.

Breathing deeply in order to compose himself, Cloud reached for the heavy golden handle that would lead him to the strangest sight he had seen - well, since he last entered through the gardenia-panelled wood.

Pushing the heavy door inwards, Cloud closed his eyes as the usual petal-carrying draft wafted past him - though strangely enough, it was warm compared to the outer temperature of the school building.

Opening closed eyes, Cloud was greeted with the sight of the Gongagan tropical forest.

Palm trees stretched to the ceiling, rhododendron bushes bloomed elegantly, and the broad leaves of banana plants framed camellias, accentuating their blood red petals that stood out amongst the otherwise green backdrop.

As Cloud watched, a small green frog that looked suspiciously like the infamous Gongagan Touch-Me (a creature whose enzymes, for some unfathomable reason, when brought into contact with the skin of a human, transformed the unfortunate soul into a frog for a duration of roughly twenty minutes. It was truly a scientific marvel - one that tourists to Gongaga were warned about, as the god-forsaken things were everywhere!) hopped past him.

Cloud stared, rubbing his eyes in disbelief, as a group of familiar and melodic voices chorused:

"Welcome…"

Cloud's eyes become impossibly wide as they took in the scantly-clad forms of his fellow hosts; they appeared (to the best of his knowledge) to be dressed as the ancient Cetras, the people who had once lived in the Gongagan region, would have been.

The ever-flamboyant Lord of the Shinra hosts stood garbed in a white heavy-linen tunic with a draped skirt, its folds falling to the floor. On top of this lay a sash in a shade of red which rivalled the camellias, embroidered richly with gold and bronze thread. Part of the sash draped dramatically over one shoulder, but was almost unmentionable compared to the golden collar that garbed said shoulders, or the dangling necklaces that glinted and jingled whenever he made the slightest movement. The lightly decorated wooden and paper fan that he shut dramatically upon Cloud's arrival completed the outfit.

The rest of the host club were similarly dressed: the trio of brothers were wearing matching outfits, though each seemed to have customised theirs to suit their personality.

Yazoo, being the most conservative, wore a longer tunic than his brothers' that revealed less of his skin. It had three-quarter-length sleeves and a square collar embroidered with a green and blue geometric pattern. A sash with the same pattern was tied neatly around his thin waist, and his mid-length silver hair had been swept over his left shoulder and loosely restrained using a piece of blue cord. A long, thick golden chain supporting an amulet in the likeness of a scarab beetle, inlayed with turquoise, hung low on his chest, contrasting with the pristine white linen.

Loz's tunic had a triangular collar that was decorated in the same manner as Yazoo's, only his sleeves cut away at his muscled shoulders, displaying powerful biceps constrained by a gold band with the same bejewelled motif as Yazoo's amulet. The tunic's skirt was shorter and rested on his knees, and his patterned sash was broader and fell to drape at the front of his tunic. Brown leather sandals crisscrossed their way up his sculpted shin muscles as he stood, arms crossed, the golden scarab in his ear glinting in the synthetic light.

Kadaj's tunic was even shorter than Loz's and hung loosely from his shoulders, exposing generous amounts of his chest. It had no sleeves; instead, it was held together at the shoulders by heavy broaches, which were, of course, in the same scarab-style the other two had donned. The collar and hem of his tunic were decorated with the same pattern as his brothers, though his sash was tied in a knot at his hip, and hung down longer that the tunic itself. Anklets adorned his feet that, unlike his brothers', were bare.

Matching smirks graced the faces of all three of the Remnant triplets; once more, green eyes glinted with an almost malicious intent that would make any decent-witted person pray to the deities above that they were not to be on the receiving end of the brothers' rather sadistic sense of humour.

Sephiroth adjusted his glasses, reaffirming their perch upon the bridge of his aristocratic nose. He had a deceptively plain tunic-like skirt on that fell in neat folds about his person. It was a dark green, almost black, and had a gold sash. A golden bib-like necklace draped across his impressive exposed chest, supported by a chain not unlike Yazoo's. The necklace was inlayed with semiprecious stones: turquoise, blood red coral and an ivory-coloured stone came together to create a rich pattern.

The two dark haired hosts stood together: Zack, as usual, was grinning away and crouching, most likely doing squats, an activity he seemed to be almost obsessed with… a coronet of camellias stuck out from the ebony spikes in which they were nestled, and a matching garland lay against the bronzed muscles of the Fair heir. Unnoticed by our beloved puppy, his violet tunic was bunched up around his thighs, exposing Chocobo-print boxers to the world.

The ever-stoic Angeal stood silently behind the puppy, his broad chest exposed. A muscular arm (through the disbelief and shock at what he was seeing, Cloud managed to muse distractedly, _I do believe that __**one**__ of Angeal's arm's has more muscle on it than I do all together) _held up a parasol that matched his dark, almost maroon, tunic-like skirt. His plain, paler purple sash was tied efficiently, and a separate golden patterned sash draped over one shoulder, whilst a gold cloth band lay upon a – as usual - furrowed brow.

Cloud twitched, thinking furiously:_ can you see this in heaven, Dad? This is the barmy club that I have been forced to join! _

Genesis exclaimed exuberantly: "Where were you Cloud? You are almost late! There's no time for you to get changed!"

Cloud, ignoring the fuming redhead, pulled a pocket calendar out of his blazer, murmuring to himself: "I may be wrong, but my calendar says its early February, yet in here I seem to doubt it…."

Genesis yelped excitedly at this, explaining in his usual overly dramatic fashion: "Huddling inside fearing the cold is nonsense! Besides the heating system we have is _the_ best!" Genesis twirled, posing with a flourish as he finished his small speech.

Cloud made a small noise of disgust at the back of his throat, dimly wondering, _how the hell do any of the girls fall for __**that**__?_

Sephiroth smirked to himself, expensive fountain pen scratching away at the paper concealed by his black folder, before addressing Cloud, "Do you have a problem with the way we run our club, Cloud? Don't forget you owe us 8 million Gil…"

_Pure evil. Absolute Beelzebub levels of evilness. Where the hell does he keep that folder anyway? He's always writing in it and he definitely didn't have it a minute ago… _

"Gentlemen, don't bundle up in bulky clothing!" continued Genesis, snapping his fan out to the side, an act that created more golden sparkles, completely baffling Cloud once more, "It may be cold early spring outside, but here at the club we wish to surprise out chilly little kittens with a warm tropical paradise!"

As the redhead ranted, Cloud looked around the clubroom - the trio were sitting at one of the tables, and Zack and Angeal were racing, darting between the trees, Zack laughing as he ran. Genesis continued, slinging an arm around Cloud's shoulders, "Oh yes! We have turned this place into nirvana, a wonderful tropical paradise of everlasting summer!"

_That's funny, 'cause I'm feeling a massive chill right now, _thought Cloud as he glared at Genesis' arm lying oh-so casually across his chest. In the distance, Zack cursed as he fell onto a small green frog - before he himself became a small green frog, albeit with purple eyes.

**oOoOoOo**

"Even though I am a king of the Cetra… _Wishing for tomorrow... my soul shatters. My pride is broke. My wing is broken. I am no longer able to fly...(1) _Without my beloved goddess, I kneel before you swearing my elegance and my undying loyalty…" Genesis gently cupped the side of his 'goddesses' face, whispering passionately into her ear, sighing demurely.

The girl's eyelids fluttered, "Oh, Genesis…"

The two other guests squealed excitedly, one of them breathing "_Lucky…."_

Cloud raised one eyebrow at the pair, silently clearing the table of their drinks. As he snuck away, he heard Genesis continue:

"Oh I almost forgot to mention to you ladies - next week, the Shinra host club is sponsoring a party!"

Cloud froze and turned. _We're hosting a party?_

He heard the trio speaking.

"We've rented one of the school's ballrooms. It's perfect for dancing," Kadaj spoke confidently, grinning at his broadest brother, who suddenly hoisted him into his lap.

Kadaj, once placed on Loz's lap, squirmed as trying to get away from Yazoo, who was re-threading turquoise beads through his hair. Loz exclaimed, catching Kadaj's flailing limbs, "Calm down, little brother! You're going to hurt one of us if you continue!" Kadaj seemed to well up, and Yazoo cooed.

"Don't cry, Kadaj, please don't cry..."

The guests squeed louder than usual. "How brotherly their love is! And how tenderly the two elder triplets care for their little brother!"

Cloud looked on in wonder.

"The guests appear to be even more worked up than usual." When a low voice spoke from directly beside him, Cloud jumped, squeaking slightly as he turned towards the speaker... Sephiroth.

"Showing some skin proves popular with the ladies." he said, writing away in his black book.

Cloud turned to look at him, still holding the drinks tray. "So are you the one who came up with this idea, Sir?"

Sephiroth paused and pushed his glasses further up his nose. Smirking he replied, "Now, now, all decision-making authority is held by our king, as are all the club policies Cloud… But there's no harm in admitting to casually slipping a Gongaga travel book onto his desk."

Cloud shuddered as Sephiroth smiled at him. There was something about Sephiroth that made Cloud wary to trust him - although his very posture demanded respect, it was much more subtle that the red headed kings, and yet had a more sadistic quality than even the triplets.

… _I see now. __**He's **__the real brain behind the operation, the Shadow King…_

Cloud was soon distracted by Zack's loud exclamation to his guests:

"_TADA!_ All Zack Fair once more! Geeze, it's just like being home again. Nasty little buggers those touch-me frogs. I was always getting into trouble with Ma when I was little because of those!"

Angeal promptly smacked Zack over the back of the head for swearing in front of a lady, whispering lowly: "Watch your language, puppy."

Zack rubbed the back of his head with a look that very much resembled a kicked member of his namesake. He grinned sheepishly, and murmured "Sorry".

Angeal's eyes softened and he ruffled Zack's hair, only to earn an indignant squawk from the former and a squeal of approval from their guests.

Cloud looked on thinking, _I am still thoroughly confused by their relationship, _before sitting down at the table with his own guests. He smiled and greeted them politely. Stuttering slightly one of the girls asked:

"U-umm Cloud? Aren't you going to wear a tropical outfit like the other boys?"

Cloud put his hands up in defence and shook his head rapidly, stumbling over his words, "N-no! I j-just don't think it's appropriate to wear anything but early spring attire in early spring!"

One of the girls sighed romantically "Oh Cloud, it's so sweet that you're so faithful to the seasons!"

Cloud smiled kindly and replied, "In Nibelheim, where I grew up, you never really had much of a choice. It was impossible to wear anything but spring wear in spring because of the snow melting and such. Weather is always so much more extreme in the mountains."

The girls looked at him in adoration and one said, "Oh, I do hope the cherry blossoms are blooming by the time of the dance!"

Her friend spoke also. "It would be so romantic, the two of us dancing amongst the cherry blossoms!"

Cloud replied: "You really think so? You know ladies, I think it's so cute when you dream like that."

All three of the girls looked at Cloud, who was smiling innocently at them, and blushed at the sincerity of his words.

A calm and proper voice broke the peaceful silence.

"Excuse me, but I think it's time for the hosts to switch clients."

Cloud turned to see a blonde girl with short bob-cut hair and a neat and tidy school uniform. She had a serious sort of aura, but her eyes were kind. Cloud realised who she was and said, "Oh you must be my next client! Miss..?"

The girl introduced herself in her calm and measured voice, "My name's Elena, Elena Kanako. You're even cuter than I expected. I've decided—" she gently tilted Cloud's head up so that she could look him in the eyes,"—you're my new favourite."

**oOoOoOo**

Genesis was sitting in the darkest corner of the host clubroom. He was huddled over a table by himself, eating a strange purple apple, muttering furiously, too low and too muffled to hear.

The other members of the illustrious club were standing around the table where Sephiroth, seated on the only chair, was typing on his laptop. They had all changed out of their costumes and the room was back to normal.

Kadaj called over to the gloomy table in the corner: "Boss, stop eating those commoner dumb apples and come and help us make party plans!"

Loz backed him up. "Yeah! Does it really bother you that much that Princess Elena has taken a liking to Cloud?"

Sephiroth continued to type on his Pineapple laptop, deadpanning with a neutral expression: "He shouldn't be surprised. She's had the illness for a while now."

Cloud looked at him strangely. "Illness?" he repeated cautiously.

Yazoo nodded. "The host hopping diseases—"

"-A.K.A as the "never the same boy twice disease"." Kadaj finished his sentence with the same uninterested expression.

At Cloud's blank look, Sephiroth elaborated. "Usually, our customers choose a favourite host and see them regularly. However, in Princess Elena's case, she tends to change her favourite. On a regular basis."

Zack loomed over Cloud's shoulder, cuddling his Chocobo, Chocó. "Yeah, that's right! 'Cause before she was with you, Spiky-head, she was with Genny-pie!"

Cloud was suddenly hit with the mental image of Genesis sweeping Elena off her feet in a field of roses. Raising an eyebrow, and turning to look at the lamenting self-proclaimed ruler of the Shinra host club, he droned, "Oh, so he's upset because I took her from him?"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Genesis childishly "I COULDN'T CARE LESS!" Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he turned and exclaimed dramatically "I am running out of patience! Cloud, it's time you started dressing like a girl!"

Cloud looked at him with an expression of disbelief "Huh?"

Genesis lamented, shaking his head furiously, hands curled into his red locks. "I don't understand!" he cried "How can you be so popular with the ladies when you yourself _are_ a lady!-"

Cloud glared and yelped angrily, "I'm not a girl, Sir!"

Genesis continued on, ignoring the protest. Loz attempted to intervene on Cloud's behalf.

"Boss, I think you're a little confused."

Kadaj nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Cloud's a boy. We're in Gym class together."

"I think we would be able to tell," added Yazoo.

Genesis pulled a chest from nowhere, yanked open the lid, and produced a large ornate gold plated frame - the sort that you would see in art museums or antique manors. Inside the frame was a picture, and in that picture stood a girl. She was only half turned towards the camera, wearing a knee-length, imperial purple dress that contrasted sharply with the spiky, Chocobo-gold plaits reaching just below her shoulders.

As the hosts studied the picture, the features of the girl became familiar: cerulean eyes that seemed to glow unnaturally, a shy smile and vermillion blush. The picture looked like… Cloud?

Genesis exclaimed foolishly, "Daddy just wants you to go back to the way you used to be!"

Cloud stood up sharply, yelling in righteous fury, eyes glinting dangerously and lips pulled into a snarl of anger. He looked just about as scary as a baby Chocobo that had a sign around its neck with the word "Boo!" written on it.

"Where the hell did you get that? AND DON'T GO BLOWING UP PHOTO'S OF ME WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION!"

As the host club surrounded the picture, staring at it intensely, Cloud bristled. Still glaring at Genesis, he silently wished a swift and fiery doom upon him.

"Hey Cloud, do you have a sister?" asked Loz with surprising innocence.

Yazoo smacked him over the back of his head. "That's Cloud, idiot!"

Zack grinned. "You look really cute in a dress, Cloud!"

"…Thanks, I think?"

Kadaj seemed to be surveying the painting. "I have to ask - if this is how you used to dress, how did this—" cue motion to the picture"—Become _that_?" -Cue remembrance of Cloud's dishevelled appearance on his first meeting with the host club.

Cloud scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "My Muti always wanted a daughter, so I guess when I was little she used to dress me up in all kinds of things. It never really bothered me, as I don't really care what I look like. I never really cared if I looked like a girl instead of a dude, you know?"

Genesis broke out into a flood of what are known as anime tears as he clung to Cloud screaming, "MAMA! CLOUDS USING NASTY BOY WORDS AGAIN!"

The hosts looked at each other.

"Err who's "Mama"?" asked Zack curiously.

Sephiroth studied the scene of the distraught redhead clinging desperately to the petite, blonde boy.

"Judging from club positions, I assume it's me," he said evenly.

The group of boys turned away from Cloud yelling at Genesis to get off and leave him alone in order to stare at the most un-motherly person any of them could think of. Despite his long hair, Sephiroth could never be mistaken for a woman, or any sort of deranged motherly figure.

Cloud drew attention back to himself when he looked down upon the sobbing king and spoke: "I don't see what you're crying about. Working as a host means I can pay back more of my debt. I'd never be able to do that if I was just an errand boy. Besides, I am a bloke - not a girl!"

Zack giggled as he watched Genesis lament. He was such a dramatic person…you learnt not to take it seriously pretty quickly. Suddenly, he realised something.

"Hate to change the subject, but do you have formal dancing experience, Spiky-head?"

Cloud froze and turned to look at him woodenly, "No, not really, but it doesn't matter, right? The party doesn't have anything to do with my quota, does it? I'm not too fond of parties, anyway, so if you don't mind I won't be going."

Genesis seemed to recover instantly - gaining an evil look in the process. "Definitely not! A refined gentleman must know how to dance! If you want to live the life of a host that badly, you're going to have to show us just how far you're willing to go, Cloud. I order you to master the waltz in one week and demonstrate it for us at the party."

At this, Genesis twirled with a flourish before continuing in a completely different tone, pointing his finger threateningly at Cloud, arm outstretched. "If you do not do so, I will tell the whole school that you're secretly a girl _and_ knock you back down to errand boy!"

"But I'm _**not**_ a girl!"

**oOoOoOo**

The dulcet tones of a grand piano rang out around the clubroom, as well as the serious voice of a girl muttering, "Quick, quick slow."

One's gaze would fall upon the gloomy figure residing sulkily in the corner of one of the great bay windows, red hair shadowing his face as he murmured to himself: _"Like the blowing winds over an unknown water surface- softly and certainly.(2)"_

In the background, Elena was teaching Cloud to waltz. She lectured him patiently, allowing for his clumsiness and forgiving his wrong moves.

"On the slow you must bring your feet together! Remember Cloud, the gentleman always leads - but don't forget to look at the lady your dancing with!" she finished with mirth

"I-I got it!"

Suddenly, he lost his balance – tripping, he fell forwards onto Elena, yelping and apologising profusely.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Elena! Are you all right?"

Elena smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck as he blushed at the close physical contact.

"I'm quite alright, Cloud."

Cloud stuttered, unsure of himself as he continued, "C-can I help you up?"

Looking at the gloomy figure of Genesis, Kadaj stage-whispered to Yazoo: "What do you think is wrong with the boss?"

Yazoo's wicked smirk matched his littlest brothers. "Why Kadaj, I do believe that the boss wanted to be Cloud's dancing partner!"

Loz smirked to, trying to imitate a tone of innocence. "But big brother! He's surely far too tall to stand in as a girl!"

Once Elena was seated at a table, with a fresh cup of tea in front of her, Cloud spoke: "Thank you so much for teaching me today! I really appreciate it."

"Oh, it was no problem. I had heard that you weren't seeing any costumers today so you could practice dancing. I'm glad I got to spend this time alone with you." She leant forward slightly as she spoke, interlacing her fingers and placing her chin delicately on them, smiling at Cloud across the table.

She was suddenly distracted, "Oh my! This is a new tea set isn't it?" —carefully she lifted the dark green cup so that she could inspect it, continuing, "—It's Genorey!"

Cloud sweat dropped. _Genorey?_

Sephiroth, once again, seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "You have a fine eye, Mademoiselle. In fact, we just received them yesterday; we thought it was about time for the club to upgrade its tea sets."

Elena cradled the tea set, eyes alight with emotion "I see… what a pretty colour…."

Genesis started as if coming to a realisation. He turned sharply to look at the seated girl.

Cloud smiled at her expression - her eyes were filled with an emotion he could not recognize.

"You must like tableware an awful lot."

The spell was broken. She hastily put the cup down, spluttering awkwardly in an attempt to attract attention away from the truth. "W-what? N-no not really! Not really at all!"

Cloud looked on, confused. _It's obvious she does, so why does she lie?_

Just the, a calm Wutain-accented voice called from the door, causing Elena to freeze suddenly.

"Hello, I'm here with the new tea cups you ordered."

Sephiroth smiled slightly, prowling over to the doorway, "Ahh, thank you very much. Every item that you have chosen for us has been very popular with the ladies - I'm quite impressed."

The figure inclined his head slightly "Well, that's good to hear."

The speaker was a Wutain boy with black hair pulled into a ponytail, and dark eyes between which was a single dot. He was tall, thin and stoic, with a cold business-only sort of aura. Held loosely in his arms was a gold box with the words S_uzushima_ written across the top in black.

Cloud walked over. "So, do you sell teacups?"

The boy's lips twitched slightly in amusement. "No, I'm just a regular student. Can't you tell by the uniform?"

Cloud blushed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, pausing when Elena let out a sort of forced giggle and spoke.

"Oh Cloud! You're so silly, but I don't blame you. He doesn't quite look like the heir to a first class company."

The "heir"s eyes widened slightly as he spotted her.

"…First class Company?" questioned Cloud.

Sephiroth answered Cloud's question as the pair stared at each other. "Yes, the Suzushima trading company deals mainly in the importing of tableware. They currently hold the top market share in the country."

The couple, oblivious to the two hosts, continued to gaze at each other before Elena's eyes filled with emotion once more, and she looked away. Cloud peered down at the gold box, which was now in his arms.

Sephiroth continued, "Yes, whenever something exceptional comes in, we've asked Tseng to send it our way."

Cloud nodded. Tseng was still unable to tear his gaze away from Elena, whose blonde hair was now hiding a face that seemed captivated by the teacup once more. It was obvious that there were some unspoken feelings between them.

Sephiroth ploughed on, seemingly oblivious to the interaction between the two.

"He has a fine eye for bone china - don't you, Tseng?"

Tseng blinked twice before inclining his head to Sephiroth. "Thank you, but I still have a lot to learn."

Unseen to the three boys, Elena's eyes darkened with tears. As the next sentence was spoke, she stared down at her lap.

"Aren't you going to study abroad in Wutai for a while?" queered Sephiroth, glasses glinting in the light,

Tseng nodded once to prove the statement correct, before casting one last lingering look in the direction of Elena "I will be leaving you now," he said softly

The serious Wutain left with the grace of a big cat as he almost silently crept out of the room.

Genesis approached, leaning on the table as he inquired gently: "So, are you enjoying the host club?"

Elena looked up at him suddenly, and stuttered, "Oh..ummm.." before she was interrupted by Cloud stating –

"I get the feeling you and that guy are kinda close?"

Flustered, Elena turned to face him, tripping over her words, "N-no! D-don't be ri-ridiculous! W-what makes you t-think that, Cloud?" Not giving him time to answer, she hurriedly gathered her things "I'd better be going! If you'd please excuse me?"

As she scurried form the room Cloud sweat dropped wondering, _what was that all about?_

He was promptly glomped by Zack, scaring the life out of the poor Chocobo-look-alike, who exclaimed – still clinging to him - "Chocobo head! Guess what? They do know each other! Elena is the creepy guy Tseng's fiancée!"

Genesis tapped his foot, arms crossed as he drawled, "Sephiroth…. How long have you known about this?"

Sephiroth turned to look at him, but not before opening his black book. He replied in his unhurried, matter-of-fact tone.

"About the two of them being engaged? Well, as you know, I conduct general searches on all of our customers; the two of them were childhood friends. Their parents arranged their engagement. I didn't think the information would affect us in any way, so I disregarded it. Why?"

In a sort of overwhelmed tone, Genesis answered, "I see."

Sephiroth continued looking through his black book. It was complete with photographs.

"Tseng Suzushima: outstanding grades, decent social status, he's ordinary looking but he's reliable, if I had to fault him for anything—"

The Shadow Lord of the host club was interrupted by Zack piping up "He's kinda creepy looking! And he's always so serious!"

Sephiroth continued mercilessly, "So in other words…. He's boring."(3)

Cloud sweat dropped once again thinking, _I had no idea that they were so merciless to other guys…._

Zack, who was at this point glomping Angeal, asked: "Tseng's a good guy right?"

Angeal nodded and answered in his deep, booming voice, "Yeah…"

Genesis took a dramatic step forwards, speaking in an authoritative tone, "Right everyone, we are going to have to work on our strategy!—"

In answer to which he got a collective, "Which one?"

Ignoring the dead panned reply, Genesis continued, "Men it is our duty, as members of the elite Shinra Academy Host Club, to make every girl happy!" He finished with his usual flourish, this time complete with mysterious golden sparkles.

**oOoOoOo**

In the purple dusk, one could glimpse the first few blossoms blooming on the cherry trees.

"It is my pleasure to welcome you here tonight, my little lambs! On such a pleasant evening as this, the Shinra Host Club bids you…."

Genesis's voice rang out, clear and dramatic as any Shakespearian actor. As he spoke, he clicked his fingers, and a spotlight shone down upon him as he bowed, dressed in an expensive white suit, with a silver embroidered waistcoat and snow-white cravat. Suddenly, the magnificent chandeliers that hung from the high vaulted ceiling came alight, flooding light down upon the other hosts who bowed lowly as they chorused,

"Welcome!"

Dozens upon dozens of girls, wearing expensive dresses in all the colours of the rainbow, clapped appreciatively as the boys straightened up, all dressed formally for the occasion.

Sephiroth was at the centre of the group, standing one level down, directly below Genesis. He was dressed in a long black tailcoat, with a blood red tie and a high collar on his white shirt. He smiled charmingly at the girls as he spoke, "As always ladies, the hosts are here for your entertainment—"

One's gaze would sweep to the right of him, where Zack stood in a cream suit, waistcoat, and a dark blue tie; then to the furthest right was Angeal, dressed impressively in a navy coloured suit with a dark blue tie and waistcoat. Between them stood Cloud, wearing a blue-black suit with a dark blue waistcoat, and tie.

Next, one's gaze would then be drawn to the left of Sephiroth, where the trio stood in matching steel-grey suits, and pale silver- green waistcoats that made their unusual colourings all the more obvious as they stood smirking out at the crowd of girls.

"—so, we invite you to dance to your heart's content! Based on her dancing skills on lucky young lady will become our Queen. Our Queen's reward will be a passionate kiss on the cheek from our King!"

Genesis winked at his audience. "Good luck to you my darling…"

The crowd of girls practically melted, one or two of them swooning, all looking upon Genesis with adoration.

Zack slung an arm over Cloud's shoulder. "Come on Spiky-head! Show some enthusiasm!"

Cloud answered dispassionately, "Well excuse me you guys, I'm not used to this sort of thing. There was nothing like this back in Nibelheim, apart from the festivals held in the neighbourhood park!"

Kadaj raised his eyebrow at the sullen host, muttering "I'm not sure you can call that a party, Cloud…"

Yazoo grinned in the evil way that Cloud had become accustomed to from the triplets… although when Sephiroth smiled, Cloud still got a cold chill down his spine. He wasn't exactly a "warm and friendly" kind of person.

"Well, as you're here, you may as well find something to eat," said Yazoo.

Loz grinned chirping, (as much as a nearly-6ft burly boy could "chirp") "Yeah, we've got quite a spread!"

Cloud turned to blink innocently up at him, "You mean like fancy tuna?"

An electric shock seemed to go through the host club as well as the thought, _FANCY TUNA?_

Genesis somersaulted gracefully off the higher level. Landing perfectly, he pointed at the already dialling Sephiroth –

"SEPHIROTH, GET US SOME FANCY TUNA IMMEDIATELY!"

Cloud glowered (though the effect was somewhat hindered by the dusting of blush across his cheeks) as he was cuddled into the hard chest of one Zackary Fair, whilst Yazoo cooed and petted his hair soothingly, and Loz' and Kadaj shook their heads sympathetically murmuring, "Poor, poor child…"

… _Damn these filthy rich jerks!..._

**oOoOoOo**

Later that evening, Cloud was leaning against one of the magnificent marble columns, watching the other hosts twirl girls around the dance floor elegantly. Unbeknownst to him, two of his regular customers were sneakily attempting to approach him, from behind. Just as they got close enough to ask, a voice called out:

"Cloud?"

Cloud turned to spot Elena, garbed in a knee-length peacock blue dress and a light turquoise shoulder drapery, offset by a cluster of peacock blue roses, and a dark lapis sash.

She smiled at him and asked, "Would you like to dance?" To which Cloud replied with a slight grin:

"Sure."

As Cloud led Elena to the dance floor, Zack stage whispered to Genesis, "She's here!"

Genesis nodded "All right men, we'd better commence with our operation."

"Roger!" Zack and Angeal replied, whizzing past Elena, snagging Cloud, and dragging him away.

Elena turned, "W-what? Ki-kidnapped?"

Genesis glanced at her, and smirked slightly (making several of the guests swoon.).

Far away, a set of double gardenia doors burst open. Zack made an enthusiastic entrance, followed by a more sedate Angeal, who was carrying a confused Cloud over his shoulder.

"There you are," greeted Sephiroth.

Angeal placed a fuming Cloud gently onto his feet.

"You didn't have to be so forceful!"

"Never mind that! Here, put this on." Kadaj thrust a tissue-wrapped parcel into Cloud's arms, Yazoo ushered him into the changing room, and, as Loz drew back the curtain for him to enter, Cloud was sure he heard him saying, "I'm sure you know how to put it on!"

Sighing, Cloud looked at the package in his arms. As he opened it, and the contents spilt onto the floor, he swore mentally. _Damn them! Did they really have to go this far?_

Sephiroth spoke from the other side of the curtain. "A little accident towards the end of the night might be quite thrilling; and remember, Cloud, there are only twenty minutes until the climax of the party. Tseng is waiting for you down the hall."

Zack chirped as cloth rustled on the other side of the curtain, "You have to ask him how he feels, Chocobo-head!"

Cloud stepped out. The two youngest members of the trio looked on dazedly as Yazoo did Cloud's make-up (makeovers were a strange talent of his).

Kadaj muttered, "I know this is the Boss's plan and all, but don't you think it's a little creep—"

He was interrupted as the doors burst open once more to reveal an irate Genesis.

"Gentlemen what is taking so long? I demand an explanati…"

He trailed off at the end of his sentence as Cloud turned to look at him.

Cloud wore a calf-length, powder-blue outfit. It was styled like a 1920's flapper dress (helping to hide his apparent lack of chest) with a low waistline, complete with a jade sash and bow. His hair was styled as it was in the photo – two chocobo-gold plaits.

He had little makeup on, as his own seemingly permanent blush dusted his cheeks. Light eye shadow and mascara graced his eyes, making them seem larger and more feminine.

He walked towards Genesis pouting slightly (although he would claim he was scowling). When he spoke, it was in his usual tone, but to Genesis's ears it was lighter, sweeter.

"Oh for God's sake, I'm coming! Gahh, it's really hard to walk in these shoes you know!"

Cloud wobbled out the door, unsteady on his feet, leaving a gaggle of stunned hosts in his wake.

**oOoOoOo**

Tseng was waiting alone in an abandoned classroom, staring out over the budding cherry blossoms, his solemn figure illuminated by the pale moonlight. Turning when he heard the door creak open, he spoke in a quiet voice.

"So you're the one who wrote the letter. You look different to what I expected."

Cloud nodded, although his mind whirled. _Letter?_

Wordlessly, Tseng handed back the carefully opened envelope. Cloud pulled out the neatly folded letter, reading it quickly so he knew what he was supposed to be talking about; it said:

_I'm IN LOVE-LOVE!_

_From the first moment I laid eyes on you! I have been head over heels in LOVE!_

_It's like my heart is stuck in a never-ending typhoon!_

_All these feelings of LOVE keep whipping around in my heart until I don't know what to do anymore!_

_When the typhoons rising waters come I want to rendezvous with you on Noah's ark! I do! I do!_

_XXX_

Cloud clutched at the letter, sweat dropping, and thought furiously, _who wrote such a stupid thing? _The dastardly trio and one puppy-like third year came to mind.

Tseng asked suddenly, "Excuse me, but have we met somewhere before?"

Cloud immediately shook his head "N-no! T-this is the first time I've ever talked to you!" he giggled nervously (though he would deny it later).

Tseng, who had been watching him intensely, turned to look back out over the school grounds. "I'm sorry, I can't return your feelings. My heart belongs to someone else."

Cloud stood straight, sobering up immediately. "Oh, well, I didn't know that you had a girlfriend. Sorry."

Tseng chuckled mirthlessly, "Unfortunately, she's not my girlfriend. In fact, I believe she's completely disinterested in me. In all honesty, I think she would be happier with someone more self-confident than I am." Tseng gazed out of the window, his expression forlorn.

Cloud stared at the vulnerable expression that the mere memory of Elena could draw from him, and wondered silently how out-of-character it was for the stoic boy, who seemed like the type who would announce the destruction of someone's entire village as though he was discussing the weather. (4)

**oOo**

In a distant corridor, Elena asked the boy escorting her, "Where exactly are you taking me, Genesis?"

He stopped, dropping her hand. "You know you're not the kind of girl who's good at manipulating others, Elena. I have you completely figured out."

Elena drew her hand back managing an indignant, "W-what?"

As the first few cherry blossoms felt their petals being tugged away by the wind, and floating gently past the large bay window, the King continued, "I know you're swapping from host to host to get his attention. I have also noticed that you look the happiest gazing into a tea cup."

Elena gasped, struck by the memory of her and a six-year-old Tseng gazing at the elaborate tea sets concealed in a glass case. He smiled at her the way she always remembered him doing, before saying:

"_One day, you're going to be my wife Elena! So, I'll tell you all about the different types of tea cups, 'kays?"_

Her six-year-old self nodded, smiling, before chirping happily, _"Okay!"_

The now seventeen Elena's shoulders shook slightly, "It's pointless. It doesn't matter how hard I try, he never notices me…. And now… now he's decided to study abroad without even telling me?"

**oOo**

In the darkened classroom, Tseng spoke once more, "That's why I decided I need to change - I want to see the world and become a better man. I know it's selfish, but…. I wonder if she'll wait for me?"

Cloud looked at him. "Yeah, that is selfish." Tseng flinched as though he'd been dealt a physical blow.

**oOo**

High-heeled footsteps approached heavy-panelled doors that appeared grey in the dim light; gently, a hesitant hand pushed these door open.

The owner of the hand let out a startled and heartbroken gasp.

**oOo**

Cloud murmured, "But maybe she would wait. You obviously have deep feelings for her, but you'll never know if you don't tell her how you feel."

Tseng looked at him, astounded, as he continued, "I think once you decide to change, you've already begun your transformation…."

Tseng reached out for Cloud's shoulder, but a startled gasp stopped him.

There, standing in the doorway of that abandoned classroom, was Elena with a heartbroken expression on her face. She looked down, avoiding Tseng's gaze, as she stuttered, "I-I'm so sorry! P-please continue! I-I just….."

Tears trickled down the sides of her face as she turned and fled, unable to continue. Tseng called after her, taking off at a run. "Elena!"

Cloud looked up as Genesis entered the room.

"Err… Sir? How did we help them? It looks like we just made things worse."

Genesis smiled that strange serene smile of his." _From the dark sky, the Goddess comes whirling down. The door to the light opens to happiness, together with the gift of the Goddess."_

**oOoOoOo**

Elena ran with all the strength she could muster, tears streaming down her cheeks. She stumbled slightly, slowing only for an instant, but it was enough for Tseng to catch her. Speaking softly, he pulled her towards him, murmuring her name. "Elena…"

Suddenly, a spotlight was shining on the couple. Startled, they looked for its source - and their, standing on the balcony of the main dance hall, were the illustrious host club and their guests. Cloud had, of course, changed back, and was no longer "Miss Cloud" as the trio had so lovingly put it.

Genesis proclaimed loudly, his voice ringing around the courtyard as he spoke:

"Ladies, and gentlemen, it is now time for us to begin the final dance of this evenings festivities! The last dance of the night has been chosen by the host club for,-" he motioned towards the two frozen students "—this couple."

Elena stared at Genesis, completely dumbfounded, but Tseng, recovering first, turned, knelt down on one knee, and extended a hand towards the shocked girl. "May I have this dance, Princess Elena?"

Blushing slightly when Tseng spoke, and even more so when she saw the faint red blush flooding _his_ cheekbones, Elena stared into his dark eyes and, seeing only love and devotion there, smiled and accepted his hand.

Music came floating on the breeze as Tseng waltzed Elena gently round the courtyard. The host club looked on proudly. Elena blushed prettily as he stared into her eyes murmuring, "I love you Elena, I have always loved you… And I _want _you to be my wife."

T_onight marks the end of my host hopping, _thought Elena, smiling joyfully.

The trio called: "Congratulations, Princess Elena Kanako, you may now receive you prize of a kiss from out king… Genesis, but Cloud Strife will fill in for him!"

Genesis gawped at the devilishly smirking three. _What?_

"Y-you expect me to kiss her?" yelped Cloud.

Sephiroth, who was once again writing something into his black book, said, "If you do, I'll cut your debt by a third."

Cloud visibly winced. "Well, it is only on the cheek."

As he descended the stairs, Elena looked at Tseng for clarification on what she should do. He inclined his head, a smile flickering at the corners of his mouth. "You should accept it, as an end to your host hopping."

Nodding, she made her way forward, Tseng standing directly at her side, just behind her shoulder.

Zack whispered to Genesis, "Hey, you don't think this is Chocobo-head's first kiss do you?"

Genesis's eye's widened as he ran for the stairs, screeching.

"Cloud!—" he tripped, knocking into poor Cloud and pushing him completely off course, straight past Elena's cheek, and into Tseng's… _mouth?_

The fangirls screamed their approval as Cloud and Tseng sprang apart, both blushing, although Cloud was a more vermillion shade to Tseng's crimson.

Tseng looked at Elena, who stared back at him, shocked, before giggling at his expression. Cloud just stood there, one hand on his lips, whilst Genesis lamented in the background.

_Well, I never thought I'd end up giving my first kiss to another guy by accident… _

But as he watched the giggling Elena and the mortified Tseng, he smiled.

_Meh, oh well…_

**(1) loveless quote**

**(2) loveless quote**

**(3) Please don't kill me, its good if he's boring and a turk right? makes him easy to over look?**

**(4) crisis core reference/ spoiler thing **

**Ps. Please review! and No flames! :)  
**


	3. Beware the physical exams!

**HI! I LIVE!**

**One chapter! Be warned though my beta Eeb-tan was stolen away to cornwall, i have checked it through but mistakes are inevitable i'm afraid...**

**Disclaimer: I Own neither, The anime with the ridiculously long name to type out each time: OHSHC or final fantasy 7 as i can't spell fantasy without spell check...**

**_Italic's: Cloud thinking or Genesis' inner theatre_**

**_underlined italic's: the over head speaker system thing you have in schools... err tanoy? _**

**

* * *

Shinra high school host club**

The sky was blue and birds were singing from the branches of the Wutien cherry trees, which bloomed majestically in the court yards of this the most prestigious of schools, their melodic voices running clear echoing of the honeyed stone walls of the Shinra establishment, students milled about chattering in the pleasantly cool late February afternoon air.

In on of the enclosed court yards protected and locked hidden away behind a high wrote iron fence topped with an impressive display of diamond spears, to ward off plucky intruders. The entrance was strangely enough a marble arch way, complete with columns standing sentinel at either side, heavy old oak doors slightly worn from the elements yet coated in a fresh protective gloss layer of gardener paint, golden guilt handles beckoned passers by to enter.

The doors swung inwards to welcome guests into its blossoming cherry tree lined inner sanctum, petals from the said trees floated gently outwards swept by the chilly spring breeze, as they danced on the wing swirling and twirling as they were whipped into eddies after being pulled from the delicate flowers, that bloomed in abundance.

Standing at the centre of the courtyard, poised on the white smooth flag stone path stood the host club, at either side of the cluster of boys, were tall ornamental stones, carved intricately with leaves that curled in, in a style reminiscent to the ancient Banoran (1) columns. Poised on each were arrangements of beautiful flowers, roses in shades of pink and white cradled in dark green leaves and swathed in babies breath.

The hosts themselves were dressed to match the ornamental painted white iron tables that were garbed in delicate linen tablecloths; with white iron chairs cushioned yet the backs forming artistic roses, gilded in silver, as the hosts chorused:

"Welcome, Ladies."

The Remnants three, Sephiroth and Genesis were all garbed in the manner best befitting high class waiters, one would expect to see in the finest restaurants, they stood garbed in well cut black slack's, crisp white shirts black waist coats each with a thin blood red ribbon tied in an ornamental knot in the place of a tie. Crisp white aprons tied about their waists; fell to the floor, made of a heavier, but no less expensive, white linen to the shirts.

Sephiroth stood to the far right, arms crossed and usual frosty smirk in place as his glasses reflected the week spring sunlight, which although meant a clear sky, held no real warmth, yet. Next to him, on the left, stood Genesis, hair immaculate as usual and falling over his left eye slightly, single earring glinted hanging from his right ear, smiling warmly with tray in hand, and ornate silver tray laden with an antique tea set, ready and waiting for him to serve his, "Princess's".

The triplets stood in their regular cluster. Loz stood behind his two brothers in his arms a bottle of sparkling mineral water, Kadaj stood to his left, tray filled with cakes and tasty snacks, balanced expertly as though he had been doing it his whole life, the usual slightly sinister smile in place. Yazoo stood to the right of Kadaj on his crooked arm hung a white linen napkin, a gentler smile than his brothers in place.

The three other hosts however would have looked more in place at a Wutien festival, garbed in Hakama, and formal Yukata the three stood together smiling welcomingly (well two thirds of them at least).

On the far left stood Angeal standing sentinel in guard of the other two, he was dressed in a dark blue over Yukata and a white under Yukata, which fit his dark colourings and stoic expression, Zack grinned waving his fan at the guest, dressed in a maroon over coat and white undercoat, which strangely extenuated his eye's making the unusual violet colouring more prominent.

Cloud stood between Zack, who was at the moment bouncing on the ball's of his feet slightly, and Kadaj who was smiling in a scarily similar fashion to Sephiroth, Cloud was garbed in a light blue outer Yukata, with a dark blue under Yukata and lightly placed about his shoulders was another powder blue Yukata, he smiled angelically at the guests hands fiddling shyly once more with the hem of his sleeve.

As the canary yellow clad girls of Shinra academy milled about the courtyard, the voice of the resident king of hosts resounded about the enclosed space as he served his guests:

"What type of tea set would you like you tea served in my lady? The Folly? The Worcester? Or perhaps the Susie Cooper gardenia?"

As the red head spoke he indicated to one of the tables laden with the most beautiful antiques, painted and enamelled with delicate designs of roses, or embellished with colour the fine bone china forming elegant arc's and curves, matching tea trays filled with patisseries, tea pots, milk jugs and sugar bowls for each set.

The flustered girl gasped excitedly, "Beautiful! Oh their Northern Crater antiques, aren't they?" Before murmuring with a blush, "Which one do you like best, Genesis?"

Genesis smiled charmingly, taking the girls hand he held it to his heart and whispered passionately, "Why the one that reminds me of you my lady?"

The girl flushed a more alarming shade of magenta, and gushed spell bound, "Oh, Genesis," as she held a hand to her cheek delicately as a real lady would, "I don't know what to say!"

Close by Loz questioned curiously, "You mean to say you've never been to Covent garden?" a feminine voice replied, "No, all our antiques are from Portobello road."

Kadaj smiled, politely offering some cake to the girl he was addressing, "I think you'd like Covent Garden, most of our Victorian pieces are from there."

A sharp crash, as the pale pink china in Yazoo's hand over turned as he poured tea for his guest and a splash of scalding liquid, caused the eldest Remnant to gasp sharply as it came into contact with his finger, hissing sharply he clutched at his hand as he placed the cup down sharply.

The two other brothers whirled around, gasping, "Yazoo!" as Loz gently embraced Yazoo from behind and tugged the injured limb from its protective embrace, murmuring softly as Yazoo's eyes glazed with hurt and tears complete with a blush dusting his cheeks. Kadaj gently took his hand from Loz and placed his mouth over the mercifully small scalded area of the eldest brothers finger, Kadaj murmured, "Honestly Yazoo you must be more carful."

Loz agreed readily saying, "Keep your eyes on us, from now on 'kay?" Yazoo answered with a smile and a soft, "Okay little brothers. I will."

The two guests watched the scene blush gracing their cheeks, hold of the powder pink antiques tightening as the scene unfolded, one swooned, exclaiming, "I can't take it! Its to much!"

The other rounded on her, scolding in a stage whisper, "No! You have to watch this! Who knows when it will happen again?"

"Your absolutely right mademoiselle." Sephiroth spoke in his usual purr, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"All beauty is fleeting, just look at these Wutanese cherry blossoms-" he gazed at a single twig, one that had several blossoms on it, as he spoke in a soft voice, "You'll never see them quite this vibrant again." He twirled the small twig watching silently as a single petal was dislodged and floated past him gently on the breeze.

Looking up he smirked at the two entranced costumers, before purring in a deadly velveteen manner, "This is why I have compiled these picture books, to capture these rare moments, of each passing day," Sephiroth produced said books complete with a picture of the Remnant brothers on the front, he continued, glasses flashing evilly, "incidentally I have compiled books for the other hosts as well, if you ladies are interested in by all four I will discount the total price…"

Hook, line, sinker…

The two girl's shot up purses at the ready, with a joint exclamation of "We'll take them!"

The brothers looked on apathetically, Kadaj deadpanned, "Well, we now know how the club raises extra funds…" Loz cocked his head to one side and queered, "You have to wonder though—" "—When did he take pictures of us?" Yazoo finished Loz' thought.

**oOoOoOo**

Water gushed along a bamboo pipe, slowly filling up a slanted bamboo stalk, hollowed as a receptor for the water bearing down, silently it over turned causing a loud hollow clunk against the polished stone, to brake the tranquillity of the rushing water, creating an oddly musical note, as it emptied its contents in to a crystalline pool surrounded by grasses and well groomed flower bushes with little pink and white flowers.

A stray drop flashed in the sunlight as it fell onto the soft worn reddish pink rug, ornamented by black slates with sugary Wutien delicacies, and Wutien china teacups. Stray petals from the cherry blossom blooms littered the spaces between the dishes.

Cloud sat kneeling in the traditional Wutanese way, as he watched Zack Fair, the boyish third year swirl, the whisk like implement made of rushes around in a bowl of green Wutanese tea, with vigour, meaning said green tea was splashing over the sides.

… _Should I say something to him? …_

Zack continued to swirl the brush around the bowl a look of utmost concentration upon his boyish face, violet eyes unusually serious and focussed, Cloud and the two guests looked on, seated next to a large extravagantly designed flower arrangement of eastern flowers. The two guests were seated in the same manner as Cloud, (though with much more engrossed expressions), only upon a deep purple cushion.

Silently the stoic fellow third year student, Angeal Hewley leant over Zack's shoulder unnoticed until he murmured lowly, in his deep voice, "Zackary, you over did it."

Zack started and an electric shock seemed to pass through the other members of the tea ceremony, as they thought collectively in horror,

… _He told him! …_

Zack paused his movement and looked at the bowl there was barely any of the bitter green liquid left, his face gained a look of disappointment at the realisation, he looked like a kicked puppy, his eyes glittered with frustrated tears.

Something within the guests snapped.

The closest girl's arm darted out chirping, "Don't worry Puppy-sempai! I'll drink it!" Said girl drank her share of the liquid enthusiastically as the other exclaimed, "Yes there's just enough for both of us! How did you know? You never cease to amaze me!" Impassioned. Zack looked at them as they smiled smiles filled with sincerity, his grin shone like the sun as he grinned at them murmuring, "You think so?"

Cloud sighed … _few crises adverted…._

**oOoOoOo**

When finally alone for a few minuets Cloud looked up at the trees laden with blooms, he sighed content smiling slightly as he gazed upwards, blue eyes dancing with serene amusement.

"Cloud?"

A charming voice broke his revere, Cloud turned to spy Genesis gazing at him one arm cocked upon his hip as he spoke with a small smile, "How are you doing? Are you having a good time?"

Cloud greeted him, "Genesis, Sir?"

Genesis smirked blue eyes glinting with amusement as he raised the arm that had been placed upon his slightly curved hip, his hand out stretched as he watched a petal float gently to his palm, glancing at her over his shoulder he spoke,

"The flower viewing is going over quite well don't you think?" chuckling he turned to him fully, shrugging slightly in mock humility,

"Even though, it's quite tiring being admired instead of doing the admiring."

Cloud sweat dropped replying in a sarcastic fashion, "Oh wow Sir, you're blooming in more ways than one…."

Genesis swelled with pride exclaiming excitedly once again summoning his mysterious sparkles, "You noticed!" He pointed at her in a manner some, if one were an ignorant of his character or perhaps a fool, would take seriously, before continuing in a manner one would associate with narcissism, "Yes today my beauty is quite splendorous, I'm in full bloom!"

He looked at her from where he had posed in a dramatically elegant manner, he winked blowing a kiss, as he posed in a thinking pose, chin resting between his thumb and index finder, "I'll bet you'll fall for me soon!"

Cloud stared at him gobsmacked and one eyebrow twitching, thinking furiously, _I swear! This guy must live life completely ignorant of the hard ships of this world…._

Suddenly a pair of muscled arms wound their way around his waits as more slender hands belonging to two other individuals took up his two arms, as usual Loz had taken his favourite Cloud cuddling position (one which, Cloud had learnt it was near impossible to get him to relinquish), muscled arms wrapped securely around a slim waist and a chiselled jaw nestled amongst Chocobo down soft yellow spikes.

Yazoo today had snagged Clouds left hand and cradled it to his heart as he stood close to said boys shoulder, Kadaj held Clouds right in his left as he too stood close, a book of leaflets in his right, he spoke charmingly, "So Cloud have you decided which elective course your going to do?"

Yazoo nodded looking at Cloud adoringly, "How about Conversational Wutanese? I have heard it's a lot of fun."

Loz grinned and nuzzled into Clouds hair, "Yeah we can take it together!" Yazoo and Kadaj turned in perfect synchronisation to grin demonically at Genesis over Loz' shoulder as he continued, "It makes perfect sense! We are in the same class after all!"

Genesis started before curling up in depression amongst the roots of one of the cherry trees, muttering to himself and sulking.

He spoke up suddenly in a low voice, "Say, Mummy dear?"

Sephiroth who stood close writing something down on his clip board, paused and pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose, a sinister habit as it mad his glasses flash ominously, he smirked and replied in a tone laced with false sweetness, "What is it now, Daddy…?"

Genesis spoke lowly glaring at the tree trunk in his corner of gloom, "I have a new theory…. I mean it's just my hypothesis, but by being in the same class, those shady triplets get to spend more time with Cloud than I do! This gives them a chance to get close to him and if that happens-"

As he looked over to the grinning brothers showing Cloud the courses, Sephiroth smirked before replying mercilessly, "Genesis. You mean you have only just figured this out?"

Genesis fell to the floor as though the Akumu's (2) words had run a bolt of lightning through him, he twitched violently, before letting loose a dramatic sob.

Sephiroth pointed to a board containing two pie charts ladled "Triplet's time spent with Cloud, Genesis' time spent with Cloud." That had once again appeared out of nowhere!

He continued in a voice that sounded as though he was talking to a small child, and mentally, he was.

"According to my research, in a single day, the Triplets spend roughly seven hours of class time with Cloud coupled with two hours Club activities, your contact however is limited to club activities, therefore you role in Cloud's life amounts to no more than a mere three percent."

Sephiroth mercilessly drove home the point by smiling in his usual spine chillingly wicked way and holding up three fingers whilst chirping in and oddly vicious tone, "I'm so dreadfully sorry."

Genesis twitched, once, twice before yelping loudly with his hands over his ears and tears in his eyes, "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"

Suddenly Cloud found him self dangerously close to Genesis' face, as he exclaimed, clinging to the vertically challenged blonds shoulders, "Listen Cloud! I want you to stop hanging out wit those shady Remnant brothers three from now on!"

This caused an exclamation from the youngest of the said, "Remnant brothers three" who yelped, "Who you calling shady!" Loz nodded vehemently, very put out his life size Chocobo pushy had been taken from him, "Yeah! Take a good look at your self Boss!"

Genesis gasped in terrible realisation and took two steps back gasping despairingly, "Yes, that's it…" Before clenching his fist resolutely and continuing, "All right then! We can't go on hiding the fact that you're really a girl from everyone in the school any longer!"

He then sniffled and burst into anime tears dramatically, "All Daddy wants is you to go back to the way you used to be! Where you surround your self with girlfriends and start leading a wholesome life!" All the while Sephiroth was scribbling in his black notebook of doom.

Cloud stared at the bawling red head and asked tonelessly, "Just who are you calling a girl, Sir?"

Cloud continued to stare at the deranged boy calmly as he was shook back and forth at arms length by the king who was ordering tearfully, "So do it! Change back now! Change!"

Cloud muttered, "Just how long is it going to take before you realise I'm a guy, Sir?"

Yazoo waved his hand dismissively, "Don't worry Cloud, he will realise soon enough." Kadaj nodded sagely, "Yeah physical exams are the day after tomorrow."

Cloud looked at him blinking twice before murmuring, "Physical exams?"

_xXxXxXx Genesis' inner theatre proudly presents: xXxXxXx_

_Cloud stood in line waiting for the doctor to return with his file, he fidgeted slightly with the hem of his shirt shyly, unused to so many people. He watched as Sephiroth and Genesis, teased each their whist preparing to get their height measured._

_Genesis stood close to Sephiroth; he was smiling as his long elegant fingers attached to his hands tugged at the buttons of his shirt, he laughed jesting at Sephiroth, "This year I'll try and beat your high, okay?" _

_Gently he tugged his white school shirt over his shoulders and shrugged it off exposing his slightly tanned skin of his chest well defined but not bulky or as prominent as Angeal's or Sephiroth's._

_Sephiroth shrugged, shedding his own cotton shirt from his broader shoulders, his long silvered hair falling over one shoulder and shimmering like quicksilver, glasses removed his green eyes shone with a strange inner light, his skin much paler than Genesis' and his muscled more defined, and each move was calculated and exsiccated with the grace of a fighter. He answered Genesis' query in kind, "Hmmm you might be lucky but it is unlikely."_

_Genesis threw back his head and laughed jovial, Red locks fluttering about his face, "Well I might be lucky!"_

"_Miss Strife?" the doctor called a confused look upon his face, attracting Clouds attention, continuing, "There seems to be a discrepancy, would you mind stepping into the other room?" _

_Cloud nodded hesitantly, blushing and acutely aware of the other students staring at him, murmuring, and "Miss? Is Strife a girl?" "I don't think so but it would explain a lot!"_

_Cloud followed the tall doctor past another set of slightly less ornate gardenia doors, into a relatively unadorned room; waiting was the faceless figure of the headmaster and two nurses, the doctor spoke, "Miss Strife its come to light because of your file from middle school, that we realise that you are in fact, a girl."_

_Cloud gawked at him disbelievingly as the two nurses mistaking the look for Cloud being insulted that it took them this long to realise, after all it was three weeks into term, smiled sympathetically and reassuringly._

_The faceless headmaster, nodded before speaking in a grave tone, "We are dreadfully sorry, Miss Strife, after all, all your lockers are in the boys changing rooms this must have been dreadful for you, several of the students had remarked that you always changed separate from the other boys,"_

_Cloud shook his head stuttering wildly a vibrant blush in place, "N-no! Y-you've got it all wrong! I-I'm just shy! I d-didn't want to change around strangers!"_

_The nurses nodded tears in their eyes seemingly disregarding what Cloud had just said, "Oh you poor dear! You we're far to shy and polite to question it! After all you surrounded by strange boys, oh it must have been terrible!"_

_Cloud shook his head seemingly struggling to speak over his blush and the other people's, who were nodding sagely and murmuring about how brave "She" had been, apparent deafness to his opinion!_

"_No matter, the situation has been rectified!" The faceless headmaster spoke with an air of finality, "Go with the nurses now, Miss Strife!" _

_As Cloud was dragged away by the to nurses, he gazed at the heavens, thinking:_

_Why is it always me!_

_xXxXxXx end of Genesis' inner theatre xXxXxXx _

The host club froze as Cloud spoke, "Hang on isn't there a possibility that they might think I'm a girl?"

**oOoOoOo**

_Genesis' voice rang out to a girl with blond spiky hair that had been pulled into two plats, who was facing the other way, her slender form was accentuated by the soft yellow uniform she wore; her hands were clasped in front of her and her face hidden._

"_Cloud!"_

_The girl whirled around to reveal delicate porcelain features, bright cerulean eyes, that were filled with emotion, plump lips pouting unhappily as unshed tears made the blue eyes glitter._

_Genesis continued waving and smiling as he walked over, bag held over one shoulder carelessly, "Have you been waiting long?"_

_He smiled down at him, before his smile faltered and his eye's clouded with concern, as he spied the unshed tears that filled the Chocobo like orbs gazing up at him, "What's wrong? You look upset." Cloud turned his head away slightly as though in shame, frowning slightly Genesis, took a gentle hold on his shoulder, "Cloud what's wrong?"_

_Cloud murmured flushing slightly, as though embarrassed by his own emotions, "Every one keep's looking at me!-" a disastrous thing for one so shy, "And no matter how hard I try no one will believe I'm a guy!" Clouds lip wobbled as we spoke, obviously distraught._

_Gently, Genesis embraced Cloud, murmuring softly in reassurance to the quaking boy in his arms, "It's okay Cloud, they're only looking because you look adorable. I shall try and talk to the headmaster and help, okay?"_

_A small shaking hand clutched at his powder blue blazer slightly as Cloud allowed himself that much assurance by clinging to him, ever so slightly, sincere orbs gazed up at him adoringly, lit with hope and trust upon the one that the beheld, as he murmured,_

"_Thank you, Genesis. It means more than you can imagine, to me."_

_xXxXxXx End of Genesis' inner theatre xXxXxXx_

Genesis started, before gaining a dazed expression once more as he, in his imagination, twirled Cloud around in a field of roses, as they proclaimed their undying devotion for each other.

"_You were loved by the Goddess and shared none of her blessings…(3)"_

Zack gawked at him and wondered aloud, "He must be having a great day dream, he's quoting _Loveless_…"

Kadaj stared at him and muttered, "He's kind of creepy though…"

At that Genesis snapped out of his revere, he quipped, "Jealous Kadaj?" he grinned charmingly, "Whilst you wasted time blinded by your jealousy, I have foreseen the out come of this dilemma!"

He twirled with a flourish, practically glowing, "This is obviously a comedic school love story, written by a deranged woman, wherein Cloud and I are the main characters! So that means we're love interests!"

The host club stared at him, sans Sephiroth who was as per usual scribbling away in his black book of infinite wisdom, Zack piped up, "Err, Genny-pie? If you are the main characters who are we?"

Genesis twirled pointing at them with a radiant smile, "You boys, are the hopelessly-in-love-but-never-going-to-get-the-Uke supporting characters!"

This eloquent statement was greeted with blank looks and the snapping sound of a mechanical pencil, almost unnoticeable as it shattered under the pressure of the seriously ticked off Sephiroth's grip, an aura of supreme demonic evilness surrounded him, as he glared at the oblivious red head unnoticed, with malice and loathing, and evil plot for revenge….

Zack and the Remnant three gawked at him before shrieking in unison, "What in Minerva's (4) name are you on about!"

Oblivious to, or rather ignoring their yelling Genesis, drew a line on the floor chirping happily, "So please don't cross this line okay?"

The triplets gawked at him and muttered in perfect sync, "You've got to be kidding…."

Kadaj spoke, "Hey listen, Boss—" Yazoo continued, "- I don't think you get it—" Loz nodded furiously yelping with tears in his eyes, "If people start believing Cloud's a girl, he won't be able to be in the host club any more!"

Genesis froze; an expression of utmost despair fell across his face, as he came to a sudden realisation….

Zack nodded, "Yeah! Think about it Genny-pie!" He paused pulling Chocó his stuffed Chocobo pushy up to look at him, "But - If Chocobo-head started wearing girls clothes, I bet he'd be even more adorable!"

Kadaj nodded at him thinking out loud, "Yeah, he dressed like a girl when he was in middle school right?" Yazoo nodded, "Meaning it wouldn't be the first time his gender got confused…" Loz giggled, "I wonder if he was popular with the boys?"

Sephiroth smirked and checked his black book, he then purred in a manner that made the triplets absolutely certain it was for Genesis' benefit, drawing out each word to give maximum emphasis, "Yes, you right Loz, back in middle school, according to my research, someone would declare their undying love to him at least once a month."

In the background Genesis twitched slightly still white as a sheet.

Zack frowned in confusion, "I see, that means that Genny-pie would find it hard to be with Cloud right?"

Yazoo grinned, "Yes, He would probably be unable to even get close to him-" Kadaj smirked evilly catching on, as Loz chirped happily, "But we would be able to because we are in the same class!" the smirking one nodded in assurance, "And are in class with her all day long!"

Genesis twitched again tear's forming in the corners of his eye's as he muttered in despair and horror, all the while white as a sheet, "No way…."

The door swung inwards, drawing the attention of all present, Cloud's head crowned with a plume of Chocobo-like spikes, peeked around the door as his azure eyes blinked innocently, "Hey guy's sorry I'm late—"

He was then swept into the chest of Genesis, head crushed to the red heads heart as he spoke dramatically, as though he was to be parted from the "king" for ever, "Don't worry Cloud! We are determined to keep you safe! No one will suspect that you are really a girl! We promise!"

He drew back so he could look into the startled Chocobo-look-a-like's eyes, clutching at the blonds shoulders he cried, "Just promise that you will stay our beloved-secret-used-to-be-Princess, for ever more!"

Cloud blinked at him, thoroughly confused before forcing out a befuddled, "Sure."

The other hosts watched the scene, some more apathetic than others, Yazoo, turned to Loz and Kadaj, "Surely it would be a little annoying to watch all the boys flirt with him?"

Loz nodded, "Hmm it would get a little tiresome." Kadaj exclaimed, "Well then that settles it."

A large white board appeared out of nowhere, with the words, "Conceal Clouds Cross-dressing past!" Written on it, complete with drawn ninja stick figures, and a large outlined "Plan A" and "Formation B" written on it.

Genesis then spoke in a manner reminiscent of a commander of the armed forces, "Write then Soldiers, when the time comes position your selves like this. Then wait for your orders!"

The Remnant's and Zack saluted with a "Yes, Sir!" although the triplets salute was mocking in comparison to the energetic boy. Sephiroth stood to the side with Angeal scribbling something down in his book glasses concealing his eyes from the world.

Cloud stood by one of the magnificent bay windows staring on in bemusement, not quite sure whether he should be flattered or creped out how far they were trying to go, to conceal he fact he used to cross dress.

Suddenly his eyes widened with realisation, and he smacked one hand, curled into a fist, flat upon his other palm, _I can't believe I didn't realise!_

"I've got it! You guys are worried that if people start believing I'm a girl because of my medical file, I won't be able to pay back my debt!"

Cloud turned to look out one of the many panels forming the window, as he stared through Georgian sugar spun glass, he murmured to himself, "My balance is 5,000 gil a month, divide that by 8, million gil…"

Cloud continued muttering to him self as the host club, filled with refined gentlemen, gawked at him, just as he turned around, laughing and scratching the back of his head sheepishly, "Well I guess I'm just going to have to find another way to pay you back!"

Kadaj rounded, on Genesis and his brothers growling in frustrations, at the happy go lucky boy who was smiling away blush in place as his eye's glittered with mirth, "DO SOMETHING!" Kadaj cried, Yazoo agreeing in a more sedate but no less frustrated manner, "Yeah! This subject doesn't appear to have any motivation!"

Genesis nodded growling a reply, "Darn it! Why did we have to get stuck with such a oblivious and naïve Uke!"

Genesis straightened up from where he had been crouching and plotting with the triplets, he yelled suddenly pointing at Cloud dramatically, "Are you saying you hate being a host? That you hate this club?"

Cloud didn't even turn around he stood staring out the window one finger on his chin thinking before answering honestly, "Well to be honest, I would have to say yes…." Genesis went white as a sheet staring at Cloud in horror. Genesis gasped once before deflating and curling up in the corner, a cloud of gloom surrounding him.

Cloud turned suddenly, and hastily elaborated as though afraid he had offended them, "Its not that I don't like you guys or anything! You're all really nice! Besides if people start believing I'm a girl there's nothing I can do you know?"

Cloud smiled at them reassuringly an aura of innocence, naivety and cuteness surrounding him.

Zack gawked, "Spiky-head doesn't seem to care one way or the other!" Loz nodded "Yeah before we do anything else, we need to find a way to motivate him!" Kadaj muttered to himself, "One would think masculine pride would be enough of one but with Cloud…."

Angeal who was ever stoic, murmured in his deep booming and authorities voice, two words, "Fancy tuna."

Cloud froze like a startled rabbit, as the others spoke, his face still hidden from them. Genesis spoke and turned with an evil grin that didn't suit him, "Oh yes, you never got the chance to try some at last week's party did you?"

Kadaj grinned evilly and stage whispered to Loz and Yazoo, "Did you here that!" Loz nodded matching grin, "Yeah he's never had fancy tuna before!" Yazoo grinned slyly in a mock sympathetic manner saying, "I know! Talk about a difficult childhood."

Zack held Chocó up to eye level saying grinning, "If only Cloud would stay in the host club, then he's be able to try all the yummy things he wanted!" Angeal nodded hand on his chin in a manner that implied deep thought or contemplation, Sephiroth grinned evilly glasses glinting, scribbling furiously in his black book, murmuring, "It's really just to bad."

Cloud sweat dropped looking at them, and stuttered flustered, "Hey now, just because I'm poor and I've had any before, doesn't mean that I'm so much of a glutton that I would conceal my past from everyone just so I could try some fancy tuna!"

He laughed nervously at the knowing looks he was receiving from the host club, their smiles clearly stating that they had already won.

Cloud floundered looking away with a blush, "A-am I really going to get to try some?"

The more exuberant members of the host club grinned and laughed in celebration of their victory, as they stared at Cloud's adorable expression.

**oOoOoOo**

"_Attention all students, we will proceed with physical examinations shortly, please attended the school clinic in your respective school building."_

Students of both genders, dawdled as the migrated towards the gym hall where they were to have the physical exam, Cloud walked with the silver haired brothers three as they advanced towards their examinations.

Cloud asked suddenly, "What was that "Formation A" stuff you guys were talking about yesterday? What do they do during physical exams here at Shinra anyway?"

Loz grinned at Cloud reassuringly, "Its no different than any other school." Kadaj nodded, "Yeah, why would it be different for us just because we are rich?"

Cloud shrugged smiling back sheepishly, mentally berating himself as he replied, "Yeah, your right, I guess I didn't think about it that way. "Cloud trailed off as he reached the door way to the gym, mentally shrugging off his worries, he pushed the door inwards.

The doors swung inwards to reveal, an large dome ceilinged hall, with a red carpet lined on one side with, doctors, all smiling, in pristine white lab coats, on the other side nurses all young and beautiful dressed in pale pink frilled dresses, with frilled white apron's and well starched cap's.

The entourage chorused "Welcome, students"

Cloud stood their gawking in a rather undignified manner as the triplets brushed past him, Yazoo looking at him strangely when he stuttered, "W-what is all this?" before replying, "Just another Physical exam." Loz nodded walking past, "Yeah the usual."

Cloud muttered to himself in disbelief following the other boys automatically, "T-the usual?" Cloud then sweat dropped as he say two of the frill clad nurses boy to the triplets, whilst one spoke demurely, "Excuse me, Remnant brothers? Please will you follow me this way to have your height measured."

Kadaj replied for all as he spoke with an apathetic, "Sure thing." Cloud watched, as they were lead away before jumping when a kind voice spoke close to his ear, "Mr. Strife?" Cloud whirled around to see a smiling kind looking nurse who smiled wider before continuing by saying, "I'm your nurse for this afternoon, okay?"

Cloud nodded returning her smile, "Okay? She continued taking up his hand and pulling him along, "Please come this way."

Cloud let him self be pulled along past curtains with doctor's student's and nurses standing behind of in front of, as he looked he spied a gaggle of girls complete with two members of the host club at the centre, Zack and Angel, dressed in lab coats and glasses.

Cloud asked to no one but himself, "Why are Angeal and Zack dressed as doctors?" said members of the host club lifted a finger to their lips in synchronisation and went, "Shush!"

Cloud sweat dropped thinking, _they're so obvious, why are the dressed like that?_

Suddenly out of nowhere Sephiroth appeared, readjusting his glasses, speaking in a manner that made Cloud suspicious that the boy had telepathic abilities, _it would explain so much…_

"I have those two for back up, the costumes were Zackary's idea and he seemed to think it would make Genesis' plan seem more like a real special opp mission."

Cloud stared thinking eloquently, "_Huh...?" _before tuning away, out of the corner of his eye he spotted a plump girl being weighed, the doctor spoke in a kind voice, "Congratulations, Miss Jeremiad, you've lost two whole kilograms since last year!" the nurses on hand squealed, and cheered as the delighted girl squealed happily, "Really? That's so good to hear! I though for sure I was heavier!"

The doctor smiled replying, "Not at all! If you keep this up you'll be even healthier next year!"

Cloud stared at the scene wondering inwardly _why is there something wrong with this picture? Isn't it a bit wired that all the doctors are all so jovial and nice?_

Again Sephiroth spoke reading his mind, "All the doctors, and nurses on hand are hand picked by the headmaster, this may be a school but it's also a business." He shrugged in a nonchalant fashion, "Besides, most of the student's attending come from well to do families, that have their own private doctor's, meaning this is just a formality."

Cloud deflated, thinking once again, _these damn rich people…._

**oOoOoOo**

Sephiroth smirked to him self and made to follow after the disgruntled Cloud, only to be bumped into by a very tall broad man, in a white overall, he had a buzz-cut with designs saved to his head his mahogany skin contrasted sharply with the metal prosthetic arm on his right hand, Sephiroth quirked a brow as the man growled in a deep voice, "Sorry man."

Sephiroth watch the man make his way through the crowd, murmuring to himself, "How odd." And opening his black folder and skimming through a few pages, before frowning, "Very odd." He murmured before going on his way.

**oOoOoOo**

A nurse with a clipboard smiled and said, "Remnant brothers, it's time to take your chest measurements, you may use the area behind the curtain to undress."

Kadaj sighed and pulled off his tie muttering, "Doesn't matter to me." Yazoo shrugged his shirt of his slender shoulders agreeing with a smile, "We are not shy, it doesn't really bother us."

The girls watching with bated breath blushed as Kadaj and Yazoo revealed their bare chests to the world; both were lanky and slender, though Yazoo was a smidge taller.

The girls screamed. Sephiroth smirked and spoke in his usual purr, "Quite an impressive turn out today, huh Cloud? Physical exam day is always quite popular with the ladies."

Cloud gawped thinking, _what's wrong with the girls at this school?_

Loz pouted with frustration with his tie and whined, "Brother!"

Yazoo immediately responded with a kind smile, and a small giggle at Loz' expression, he gently padded over to his bigger, yet younger brother. Deft fingers made quick work of the knot Loz' tie had become, Yazoo had started on the shirt button's before Loz' spoke still pouting, "Why do we have to get undressed for the doctor's anyway? I don't like the idea of them touching you anyway!"

Yazoo blushed slightly and tugged the shirt of Loz' broad shoulders as Kadaj spoke, "Don't cry Loz! I don't like it either!"

Loz' welled up and enfolded the blushing Yazoo into a protective hug as Kadaj stroked his hair. Yazoo grumbled, "You two don't seem to have a problem touching me!"

If possible the screams got louder.

Suddenly Cloud was pushed away behind the squealing crowds back at a high speed by, Zack and Angeal, the puppy, stage whispering, "Quick Spiky-head! This way!"

Cloud found himself thrust backwards through a curtain, as his backwards momentum propelled him inwards, he felt for a moment that he was going to fall, before large warm hands grasped his shoulders and cushioned his impact with a hard chest.

As arms wrapped around his Cloud looked up as a familiar voice murmured good-naturedly, "I have been waiting for you, my secret Princess." Genesis wrapped his arms around Clouds shocked form and rested his head upon the blond boys shoulder.

Cloud tore him self from Genesis' arms confused, before whirling around and stumbling so he fell, he winced at the impact and blinked up at the red head, questioning blearily, "Genesis, Sir?

Genesis giggled, (in a very manly way) and crouched hands on his cheeks as he exclaimed quietly, "Aww your so cute when your surprised!"

Cloud glared at him balefully before a voice called, "Mr. Strife we ready to do your chest measurements. Once you've finished disrobing you can come with me."

Genesis spoke in a hushed whisper as the fangirls waited with bated breath to see Cloud disrobe, he looked at Cloud with a warm smile saying, "This is the moment we've been waiting for. Don't worry Cloud leave it to me. I have a plan!"

He then went through the curtain with a blond wig in place.

"Err… excuse me is there a problem Mr. Rhapsodos Sir?"

The crowd broke out into whispers of, "Why is Genesis wearing a wig?" as the Remnant's and Zack burst into uncontrollable laughter. Genesis growled and ripped the wig off and yelped at the laughing foursome, as the girls laughed, "You jerk's! You said there was no way the girls would be able to tell the difference between Cloud and I!"

Kadaj, as Genesis shook him, sniggered, "Its pay back for calling us the -doesn't-have-a-chance-with-the-Uke supporting cast!"

Genesis then attempted to peak around the curtain to see if Cloud was still there asking hesitantly, "Cloud? I'm sorry but they seem to have figured my plan out…"

Genesis recoiled at the heat of the glare he received, it pierced his very soul with loathing and abhorrence and thus Genesis fell away from the curtain defeated and screaming in terror.

Cloud sighed, _Just as I though Genesis lives in his own care free world, he's such an idiot! How could he think a plan like that would work? Why did he have to drag me into it!_

The mortified Cloud felt a hand gently place itself upon his shoulder it was large, and cold as though he had been holding something chilled, the owner of said hand looked down at him head cocked to the side curiously a small very small smile playing around the corners of his lips, as he spoke cat like green eyes slightly concealed by his reflective glasses.

He asked softly in his always slightly menacing tone strangely reassuring to the embarrassed boy, "Cloud, if your ready I have prepared a special boys clinic upstairs, with the doctor standing by sworn to secrecy about your file."

Cloud looked up at him gratefully, as the other hosts (sans Genesis) poked their heads around the curtain as Zack spoke, "It turn's out all the doctor's here today are all staff at one of Sephy-pants' family hospitals today!"

Kadaj muttered, "Would have been nice if he had said something earlier…"

Sephiroth smirked at them readjusting his glasses he spoke sweetly, "I'm sorry, I had to get my revenge to you know. I have a firm belief that I am not supporting cast, besides I most certainly have more of a chance with the "Uke" than you do Genesis."

Genesis twitch slightly from where he stood dazed, girls crowding around mystified one squealed, "Ooh, check it out! Genesis is lamenting!" another giggled, "So cool!"

Genesis still dazed murmured, "Cloud is-Cloud is, angry with me?"

**oOoOoOo**

Cloud knocked on the large door, hearing a female doctor's voice call, "Come in."

As Cloud entered the office like room the doctor turned in her chair and spoke, "Mr. Strife, I have been made aware of the situation concerning your file, if you like you can use the area over there to get undressed."

Cloud nodded at the smiling woman, and made his way over to the curtained area.

**oOoOoOo**

Sephiroth, Angeal and Zack made their way down a curtain-lined corridor, towards the other host club members, before a distraught female voice exclaimed, "I'm telling the truth! A scary gangster pervert grabbed my shoulder! I've never been more scared!"

Two nurses tried to calm the distraught girl down, as another of the girls murmured, "That must have been terrible!"

Sephiroth frowned and intoned, "I had a feeling this might happen."

The two others looked at him in confusion, Zack asked, "What do you mean, Sephy-Chan?"

Sephiroth folded his arms one hand grasping his chin in thought, "Earlier today I saw a strange man. He was wearing a white lab coat but he was obviously not one of our hospitals doctors. I did think it was a little odd."

Zack yelped at him a frustrated pout in place, "Shouldn't you have said something sooner!"

Sephiroth waved his hand dismissing Zack's righteous fury, and said, "It is no problem and the security guard will catch him."

A male voice spoke behind them, "Tell me Miss, did you happen to see where the gangster pervert went?"

The sobbing girl sniffled, "H-he went in the direction of the special boys clinic."

The host club froze.

_Cloud!_

**oOoOoOo**

Cloud pulled his tie off from around his neck, and placed in on the neat pile of clothes forming next he unbuttoned his shirt revealing a slender pale chest, he bent down to fold his shirt but straightened up when he heard the rustling of cloth.

He turned and spied a tall man who looked an awful lot like the character "Mr. T" (5), he noticed the man was peeking through the curtains at the turned back of the doctor, the man turned when Cloud asked quietly, "What are you doing here?"

The man whirled around, and grabbed Cloud, and placed a large metal hand over his mouth, hissing, "Seriously, its not what ya thinkin' Spiky-ass—"

He was interrupted by the yell of "Starlight Kick!" and the poor strange man was sent head first into a wall by a powerful kick to the head delivered by Genesis.

Cloud could do nothing but stare as the red head landed gracefully as the triplets spoke behind him, "One, good looks that attract the public eye."

Sephiroth purred menacingly, seemingly appearing from the shadows, "Two, more wealth than you can imagine."

Angeal spoke next in his deep gentle voice, "Three, Honour that will never be able to over look—" "—The hideous wickedness of this world." the strangely serious Zack, finished Angeal's sentence.

Cloud stared wide-eyed at the prone form of the man, until a shirt was placed over his shoulders as his had been abandoned on the floor, he looked up at Genesis who had placed it on him.

Genesis proclaimed, as he posed dramatically, "That's what makes up the Shinra host club!"

The man stared at them, he yelped, "Wow hold up here buddy! There's been a mistake!"

The man looked down at his arm, "My Names Barret Wallace, yo? I'm a scientist that works on one of those Mako plants you see, but earlier this year, some idiotic bugger pressed the wrong button and I lost my hand. It was all covered by the insurance but it took 6 weeks and so I left me daughter Marlene at that crazy lady my ex-wife's house, only the Psycho woman moved! And she took Marlene with her! So I came here in the hope I could find Marlene but I got mistaken for a doctor and was dragged inside!"

Kadaj muttered, "Well duh, your wearing a lab coat." Loz' nodded in an agreement, "Its not like its wasn't an easy mistake to make!"

Barret continued, "When I tried to talk to that little miss, she screamed and I kinda panicked, I'm no good with crying teenage girls ya no? Marlene's only little!"

Genesis had anime tears streaming down his face as he said, "That's so tragic!"

Sephiroth looked thoughtful for a moment, "Mr. Wallace, I think you may have the wrong place. Are you looking for Shinra middle school?"

Barret looked up, and answered, "How did you know? Yeah that's right."

Sephiroth smirked, "I thought that might be the case, this is Shinra Academy, it's the secondary school, the high school if you will. Your daughter doesn't go to school here."

Barret gawped at him, as did Genesis. Yazoo raised an eyebrow at the fallen man, "You mean you didn't realise that this is the high school? That's pretty sad."

Zack grinned slinging an arm over Sephiroth's shoulder, "Geeze, Seph I'm impressed how did you figure it out that he had the wrong school."

Sephiroth removed Zack's arm from his person saying mercilessly, "Well if his daughters "only little" and Mr. Wallace is unused to teenagers, that implies she can't be old enough for high school now can she? It pays to use your brain Zackary."

Zack winced a little and grinned sheepishly, Genesis spoke seriously for a moment and asked, "Sephiroth, please would you find the directions to the other school's grounds for this man, I want to help him find his daughter."

Cloud looked at the red head, it was like that moment when he helped Cloud find his wallet in the school pond, Genesis was wearing the same strange smile, Sephiroth smirked slightly, "What ever you say." And went to follow his order.

**oOoOoOo**

The host club watched from the open bay window, as the man went on his way, Loz' questioned Genesis, "Boss you sure this is the right thing to do? Even if he find's the school its possible that his ex-wife has moved the girls school."

Genesis smiled that strange smile, "Well, he'll have to find out for him self, won't he?"

Cloud looked up at him and smiled slightly, before saying, "Err guys would you please get out?"

Genesis froze silly expressions back in place, as he asked fearing the answer, "C-Cloud? Your not still mad are you? Your not thinking of quitting the host club are you?"

Cloud shook his head smiling, "No silly, I have to complete my physical duh…" he paused as though remembering something before beaming up at the host club, "But I'm not doing this just because your bribing me with food! I'm doing it to pay back my debt."

Genesis cooed and glomped Cloud, "Your so cute Cloud~! Aww don't deny it! We know you just want that fancy tuna!"

"Hey Stop Genesis, please your hurting me! HEY! DON"T TOUCH ME THERE!"

The triplets chorused, "Buzz! Red card! Looks like the Boss is the real pervert!"

Cloud yelled, "Who cares? Would you guys just get out of here!"

* * *

**Nyahaha! **

**(1) Banoran equals Roman**

**(2) Sephy-Chan's last name, means "nightmare"**

**(3) Loveless quote crisis core i believe**

**(4)Goddess of final fantasy 7 world!**

**(5)err... as i think this copy righted me no own kays?**

**PS. Please review!**


	4. Attack of the Lady Manager!

**HI! **

**Before i let you all read this chapter i have a warning: RENGE-FIED AERITH! WARNING!**

**please don't hate me?**

_Itallic's: Inner theatre's and Clouds thoughts._

_Underlined: Loveless Quotes/ Aerith's voice over_

* * *

**Shinra high school host club**

The room was dark; every available surface was covered in effigies to a tall boy with glasses and long golden blond hair, though the exact shade was impossible to distinguish in the dimly lit room. The words ICHIYO MIYABI were spelt out in pink across the bottom of one of the posters.

The boy was dressed in a cream uniform blazer, tight fitting, well cut, he had grey slacks on, and a long red scarf wound around his throat and hug elegantly, on his uniform a small shield with the letters OP embroidered in white.

The walls had tall life sized posters, the ornate mahogany chest was littered with models of the boy in different poses, plushy's of the boy were strewn across the floor and arranged precariously upon the ceiling high canopy bed.

On the top of the bedside table were dozens of photo's of the boy, in one a picture frame the image of a young girl in a navy sailor like school uniform, had been added, she had soft chestnut hair and emerald green eyes.

The only source of light was a large television, on the screen was the boy, a hunched figure in a pale pink dress sat upon a soft plush arm chair, one that's colour was indistinguishable, the figure twitched slightly pressing a button on the Playstation (!) remote control.

The figure moved smiling, opening his arms and spreading them outwards in a manner, which blocked the background scene of a classroom from view. A calm voice rang out from the most likely expensive speakers a text box appearing underneath the figure, with the words the same as the spoken.

"I love you. You are all I can think about. Let us spend the rest of our lives together my darling."

A black text box appeared with two options, one being the response, "I am so happy, Miyabi-kun!" the other being unthinkable to he hunched figure of the girl, "I can't right now…."

A thumb moved the curser to click on the first option as its owner murmured to herself as she pressed the select button,

"Oh, I'm so happy…. Miyabi-kun."

The only sound apart from that in the darkened room was the synthetic select noise of the game controller, a knock on the door broke the revere as a warm polite voice called out,

"Excuse me Miss, the Master has returned home."

The figured ignored her, and continued to player her game, the voice called again laced with concern, as the young mistress of the house did not respond, "Young Miss?"

The door opened and golden light from the outside flooder the bedroom of the young Miss, a male figure stood at the door, he called out, "Aerith? I'm home."

The girl Aerith didn't respond, she merely continued to play her game, the man tried again to get her attention as he commented amused, "You do love those video games."

The girl stilled, as she turned and murmured towards the figure of her father, "Is that so wrong?"

The faceless man smiled, "Of course not, I'm your father and I want you to feel free do whatever you wish. I have always promised you that freedom." The girl gave no response; instead she turned and returned to the video game.

As she resumed the incessant clicking she murmured, "Yeah…"

**oOoOoOo**

Aerith and her father sat opposite earth other around a plain chestnut coffee table, both sitting in high backed chairs, Aerith sat perched on the edge of her chair with her back ramrod straight, her features were elegant and her long chestnut coloured hair was pulled back into a high pony tail secured with a large pink bow, the pony tail was then platted and fell to her waist shorter chestnut bangs framed her face, her eyes were a dark rich green and they had an honest earnest gleam about them.

Her father spoke as they sipped their tea, white bone china teacups and saucers, decorated with willow patterns, clinked as they were placed upon the table, a large open window was on the father's left, out side one could see the spire of the Under-Plate.

The Under-Plate was the most famous city of romance and culture, the Plate was one of the greatest shopping centres of the fashion world and it was a massive structure that over shadowed most of the Under-Plate, where the inhabitants of the city lived, whilst they worked on the plate.

The girl spoke attempting to break the silence between them, "Did your business trip in Midgar go well?"

The father smiled at his daughter warmly, "Why yes I think so! I had a lovely dinner meeting with one of my clients' family's whilst I was over there. I made sure to get a photo."

The man handed a photograph to his daughter, who looked up from her teacup placing down upon the table, and gently receiving the photo from her father, as she looked at the photo she froze, her father continued on oblivious,

"Take a look. They have a boy in high school who's about your age."

The girls hand shook, and she murmured, "H-he's the one," The photograph of the boy and the father shook in her hand.

Suddenly the girl shot up slamming one delicate hand down on the table, she yelped thrusting the photo into her fathers face, "I am going to marry the boy in this photo!"

Her father sat there shocked as her stuttered, "A-Aerith…"

She giggled and chirped delightedly, "Don't forget father! You promised me that I could do what ever I want!"

She squealed rushing about the place as her father watched stunned, bags packed at lightning speed she paused clasped her hands together starry eyed she proclaimed, "Just you wait! I'm coming for you—" she giggled musically, "—My Prince Charming."

And thus Aerith was out the door with a hasty goodbye bid to her father as she flew to Midgar all for the boy of her dreams.

On the table lying forgotten was the picture of the boy, his glasses reflecting the light of the camera concealing his eyes, his long silver hair gleaming and falling elegantly over on shoulder as he half smirked at the camera, as though he new the outcome of every thing that had taken place between father and daughter.

**oOoOoOo**

"Oh Genesis," a feminine voice sighed as a girl with black shoulder length hair that curled slightly, a blush firmly in place clasped her hands as she addressed the boy of her dreams, "My dear Genesis! Why are you so beautiful?"

A smooth voice replied, with a Banoran accent, "Why I am hoping to catch your eye. Even if for just one moment"

The voice originated from the reclining figure, he was dressed in a loose Wutanese kimono that was grey with a golden swirl pattern decorating it, draped over his shoulders was a Yukata, decorated with the colours of the sunset and green leaves. Red hair was pulled into a low ponytail restrained with a single purple ribbon, the colour of a dumb apple.

Behind the figure was a large faded gold and green paper screen that stretched behind the figure creating a backdrop that suited the boy, to his side a dark wood cabinet styled in the Wutanese style and adorned with a flower arrangement of red camellia's and dark wood twigs.

An ornate Wutien pipe rested in his hand making him look like something out of the Wutanese royalty, another girl hesitated to ask, face equally adorned with a rosy blush, behind her stretched the leaves of a bamboo plant, setting the scene for her request, "Then why is your voice so very sweet and mellow?"

The boy smiled charmingly and replied in the said, "sweet and mellow" voice, "I'm hoping to set your nerves at ease, so my confession of love may reach your ears…"

The third girl with cropped short hair asked dramatically, "Genesis, why are your eyes filled with tears each and every time you look at me?"

The boy brought one elegant hand to his face, brushing rusted locks from the side of his face; his blue grey eyes darkened by emotion as unshed tears glistened at the edges of his eyes, as he spoke passionately,

"Just one glimpse of your beautiful smile causes the fountain inside of me to overflow."

All three girls sighed, dreamily, "Oh Genesis…."

**oOoOoOo**

The three male figures reclined against each other, the largest of the brothers, leant against the wooden bench, his elder brother resting elegantly draped across his chest, the youngest sat to the largest's side not quite shoulder length silver hair fell across his big brothers arm as he rested his head upon Loz' bicep.

All three were dressed in dark blue Wutanese kimonos, decorated with pale green, blue and orange flowers, which looked like Wutanese cherry blossoms.

Across from the Remnant brothers three sat a couple of girls, seated on hard wood chairs, with plush red velvet cushions, between the guests and hosts was a large vase of pale blue gladioli.

One of the girls exclaimed, "I think it's adorable that you're wearing matching kimono's!"

Yazoo smiled from his position draped across Loz, giggling as Loz' chest vibrated as he responded, "Our mother designed everything the host club's wearing today, if you like something I'm sure we can take an order for you."

True to his word as Yazoo shifted the label on the neck of his kimono became viable, the cursive acid green words spelling, JENOVA.

Yazoo spoke smiling contently, "Yeah our grandmother even helped us to put them on today!"

Kadaj growled possessively, as he shifted and gripped Yazoo's chin whilst Loz' free arm wrapped around Yazoo's waist securing the long haired boy's position, before he could move away from their youngest brother.

Kadaj tilted his eldest brother's face up to look at him, (as their positions gave him the superior height), smirking when Yazoo blushed embarrassed, before practically purring, "But big brother, you know the only ones undressing you will be us."

Yazoo's eye's filled with tears as he murmured indignantly, "Kadaj! You're embarrassing me!" Loz immediately cooed, "Don't cry Yazoo," whilst stroking his elder brothers hair.

The guests squealed exclaiming, " Oh! What a tender embrace!"

Cloud sweat dropped looking at the triplets oddly, thinking, _Oh…. They're up to that nonsense again…_

Two female guests appeared out of nowhere, squealing, "Oh Cloud you look so cute in your kimono!"

Cloud blinked up at them saying softly with a shy smile, "You think so?"

Cloud was dressed in a three layered kimono, the outer layer was mint green and had tiny white flowers embroidered on it, the next layer in was dark midnight blue whilst the inner most layer was a pristine white. It had a dark blue obi the same colour as the middle layer. Over his shoulder was loosely draped a lilac Yukata with cherry blossom patterns on it in a slightly pinker shade.

In his hair was a small brocaded flower woven of fabric in the colours of his Yukata; white ribbons were draped elegantly in the place of leaves. He was sitting next to a large vase filled with white lilies.

He smiled innocently up at his guests before an evil purring voice called him from his left, Cloud turned to the owner of the voice as he spoke,

"Cloud, you've booked another appointment."

The Chocobo impersonator looked over to the resident evil mastermind of the host club, Sephiroth sat on a dark blue cushion writing in a Wutien notebook (replacing his normal evil book of unavoidable doom), he wrote with the Wutien calligraphy brush, he continued not looking up,

"It would seem that you have had a steady flow of new costumers lately, keep the good work."

The cat eyed man looked up and towards Cloud, the white embroidered panel behind with the images of cranes taking flight, was the perfect back drop for the kimono garbed demon in the flesh.

The tall boy, more of young man really, was dressed in a charcoal grey kimono with small swirling patterns embroidered in a pale grey, his under kimono was the same shade of pale grey as the swirls and his thin obi.

He gave Cloud his token scarily sweet smile, as he continued, ""I'm not going to charge you interest the way I normally do so keep this up and you may be able to pay back your debt, Of course the rental fee on that kimono your wearing is nothing to sniff at…."

Cloud stared at him mind working frantically as a cold chill went down his spine, _… He's like some sort of heartless tax collector!_

Two girls broke Cloud's train of thought, as the spoke faces flushed, "Hello Sephiroth, I can't get over how well you suit that kimono, are you planning to release anymore picture books of the host club?"

Sephiroth gave a polite half smile that easily distracted the girls as he answered, "I'm afraid we don't have anything planned at the moment."

Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo seemingly appearing out of nowhere, asking simultaneously, leaning over the large ornate panel behind Sephiroth, "But doesn't the club make a lot of money from the sale of promotional item's?"

Sephiroth turned to talk to them, "That's true but the items were poor quality," He produced some blurred photos from nowhere, fanning them out to show the triplets.

"Those picture books were filled with nothing but amateur hidden camera shots."

He then picked up a large calculator looking thoughtful; he punched a few numbers into the device before having a look at his log book, h e murmured softly, "If we wished to make something of higher quality, we would have to draw money from the schools budget."

He looked back at he log book silently noting something down, the girls looked on in awe as the resident, "Cool type" worked diligently, Cloud looked on thinking to himself,

_If it weren't for Sephiroth the host club would spiral into the depths of despair and bankruptcy…._

A whining voice broke him from his revere; Cloud whirled around as the Puppy whined, "Cloudy-pie! Help meee! I don't know how but I have lost one of my sandals!"

The energetic boy looked like a kicked namesake, violet eyes filled with frustrated tears as he held up one navy sandal, Zack pouted, he hated Wutien shoes! They were an evil hybrid between clogs and flip-flops!

Zack was dressed in a vibrant green Yukata with little dark green frogs embroidered on it; he had a white under layer and a navy blue obi. He had another Yukata placed about his shoulders in the same manner as Cloud, only it was a pale pinkie red and had large yellow camellia's embroidered on it, he looked very sweet, in a sort of man-boy way…

As Cloud walked through a couple of girls who stood wither side of the steps to the raised levels, he spoke in a sympathetic voice albeit a confused one, "But you were just wearing them weren't you?"

"Puppy," The deep rarely used voice of Angeal spoke softly but its deep tone could do nothing but ensnare all who heard it, the large stoic boy lifted one of Zack's feet up by the ankle and slipped the sandal onto the boys foot.

He was wearing a dark blue kimono that was plainer than the others, it had navy blue swirls decorating it subtly and he had a burnt orange sash about his waist matching his under layer of his kimono.

"I noticed you dropped it earlier, you should be more careful."

Zack looked at him a broad grin stretching across his face as he glomped his taller dark haired companion, exclaiming, "Wahh I love you Angeal! You're the best seriously!"

One of the two girls standing either side murmured, "How sweet," whilst the other, nodded in agreement murmuring in reply, "Isn't it just?"

Cloud watched the whole display unnerved, muttering to himself, "It appears that tears are popular with the ladies today…" … _You've got to wonder though how are they all able to cry so easily?_

As Cloud backed away from the guests he bumped into Kadaj who had just said goodbye to his guests, as Cloud bumped into the silver-haired, mildly sadistic, (and probably disturbed) boy a small green plastic bottle about the size of the head of a tooth brush fell to the ground, dislodged from his bell sleeved kimono.

Cloud bent over and sweat dropped when he say the labelled, _Neo-Shinra high grade eye drops,_ before speaking to the now smirking Kadaj, "What the…. Just what is this?"

Loz' arms were around his waist before Cloud could blink and Yazoo had appeared on the opposite side of Cloud to Kadaj, Loz chuckled nuzzling Clouds temple, before smirking and saying, "For your information, Its common for a host to use eye drops."

Yazoo grinned taking clouds free hand in his own and clutching it to his chest dramatically before continuing Loz' sentiment, "No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears."

Cloud was not moved, "That's cheating." He replied adamantly, Kadaj grinned, singling an arm around Clouds shoulders, (Loz' moved back loosening his hold momentarily to let his little brothers arm snake between him and his life size Chocobo styled cuddle toy before tightening his grip once more.)

Kadaj poked Clouds cheek and chuckled, "Oh don't be such a party pooper…"

Zack who had been previously saying goodbye to his own guests, bounded over rummaging in his sleeve, yelping excitedly, "Oh by the way, Here spiky-head! This is for you!"

He then thrust a small clear plastic container into Clouds hands; inside it was a traditional Wutien sweet, it was a sugar thing in the shape of a lotus flower that was a pale sugar pink.

Cloud cradled the box with two hands staring at it before looking up at his dark haired Sempai (2) before asking with a shy blush, "I-its for me?"

Zack and the Brothers cooed simultaneously, "Aww aren't you the cutest?" Identical adoring grins in place.

To guest's that hadn't yet left immediately ran up to Cloud hearts in their eyes, one of them asked, "I didn't know you liked Wutien sweets Cloud!"

Cloud floundered slightly flushing at the sudden attention, "T-to be honest with you I don't really… But… It would make a nice memorial offering to my father…"

Cloud smiled his strangely serene smile, it was the smile of someone who had seen hardship and yet still managed to see the beauty in life.

The guests and the hosts, (the brothers three had released Cloud) stared with in awe of that smile, the girls had tears in there eyes whilst the boys looked on with fond smile's of their own, as the Chocobo head had managed to worm his way into the host clubs hearts (though the triplets and the puppy were still debating if Sephiroth had one.)

Genesis exclaimed dramatically, and at the top of his voice, "Oh how admiral of you!" He twirled dramatically tears glistening at the corners of his eyes as he proclaimed, "Such devotion to your fathers memory!" he began to pile more of the sweets likeness onto the slightly disturbed Clouds out stretched hands, "Here Cloud! Take as many as you like!"

As the other hosts stared on the scene apathetically they clapped mockingly once Genesis had finished, Cloud merely stared at his Sempai and deadpanned, "Let me guess, the tears are fake?"

Genesis recoiled insulted as he squawked, "How could you!" as more tears gathered at the corners of his blue grey eyes, "My tears are always genuine, Cloud! Being able to cry without the use of eye drops, it is the mark of a true host!"

A single crystalline tear ran down the side of his face, out lining his cheek before falling onto the expensive fabric of the kimono, as Genesis continued to rant dramatically, oblivious to the fact Sephiroth had now escorted all the guests from the host club and the other hosts yawned, board as the dramatic boy proclaimed his hosting kingliness to the world.

Un-noticed to all present there was the figure of a young girl garbed in the yellow of the school uniform, her long chestnut hair, was braided from a high pony tail and garbed with a large pink ribbon, dark green eyes watched the proceedings whilst their owner peaked around the door frame.

"Tell me! Have I impressed you? Have you fallen for me yet?"

Cloud stared at the red head uninterested as he said monotonously, "You wish."

Genesis twirled around Cloud in his usual manner; Genesis took up a thinking pose and murmured to himself, but very much out loud, "My romantic overtures do not seem to be reaching you for some reason."

Genesis flicked his hair from his face and questioned, "Perhaps I should add a little more panache to my character?" Cloud ignored the boy in favour of looking away, as he did so he spotted the figure half concealed by the doorway.

Genesis spotting that is beloved, "Daughter" was not listening looked in the same direction as Cloud only to spot the same figure, at the boss's silence the other hosts looked around, the figure retreated slightly but not enough to conceal themselves.

The triplets simultaneously spoke with matching grins, "Looks like the host club has a new guest…"

Loz and Kadaj looked at each other both going, "Aha!" in realisation. They both went to greet the new guest; Loz leant against the doorway murmuring lowly, bending down slightly to her level, "Come on in, what are you waiting for?" Kadaj draped him self over his big brothers shoulder, offering a rose to the girl, "Watching from afar is no fun, come on in…"

Yazoo appeared by Kadaj's shoulder also offering a rose, speaking softer than his brothers, "Please, miss? Don't be shy…"

Genesis spoke sharply in a firm tone, "Stop that. How many time's must I tell you boys to be more courteous to our first time guests."

Genesis then turned to the girl and spoke softly and gently also offering a rose, "Please, you do not have to be afraid, My Princess" His out stretched hand gently tipped the girls face as he leant close, he stared into her eyes kindly as he spoke, "I welcome you to the Shinra host club."

He smiled kindly as she blushed slightly, as she tried to say something; he encouraged her gently, "Yes?"

Nothing could have prepared him for the sudden slap in the face, as the girl screamed, "NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! YOUR PHONEY!

The host clubs eyes widened, as the king recoiled one hand clutching the injured area, he reeled the turned and asked despairing, "W-what do you mean I'm phoney?"

The girl pointed at him continuing without mercy, "Just what I said! You're phoney!" staring at him with, (to Genesis) evil and cruel green eyes, the girl continued, "And I find it hard to believe that someone like you is the prince character of this host club!"

Genesis stepped back horrified, as she continued he flinched as though every insult was a giant oversized arrow piercing unto his own body, the girl continued mercilessly going for the kill, "You shouldn't go spreading your love around so easily like that you stupid!" Twang goes the arrow, "you must be a dim-witted narcissist!" "Thunk, there goes another, "Your incompetent! You're a commoner!"

Thunk, thunk, the arrows labelled with the insults seemingly hung the king in the air before he was zapped by lightning, the equivalent of the girls final insult.

"You're a disgrace!"

Loz exclaimed in awe with a sweat drop, as Genesis fell to earth a broken man, "He's created a new technique! One man slow motion!"

Sephiroth who had been looking thoughtful questioned, "I don't suppose… You are…"

The girl looked at him before bursting into tears and throwing herself at him exclaiming, "Its you! Sephiroth!"

As she ran to him she trampled poor Genesis whom lay upon the floor still dazed from her vicious take downs. The girl threw her arms about Sephiroth's waist as she buried her face in his chest, proclaiming whilst sighing dreamily, "Oh how I've longed to meet you! My one and only prince charming!"

Suffice to say, Sephiroth looked shocked.

**oOoOoOo**

"Your fiancée?" questioned Kadaj disbelievingly, Yazoo murmured in a similar state of disbelief, "Sephiroth?" Loz looked at the girl mentally assessing if she was mentally sound, "Are you sure?"

The girl smiled demurely, far cry from her earlier antic's her hands folded neatly in her lap, as she sat upon one of the expensive ruby sofa's, her cup of tea upon the table next to a vase of long stemmed roses, her pretty emerald eyes smiling as she chirped happily.

"Yep, My name is Aerith Gainsborough and I shall be transferring into first years class A tomorrow."

Genesis sat in a shadowed corner, sulking with a petulant expression on his face, vein throbbing on his forehead. By this time the hosts had changed back into their regular uniforms.

Loz stared at the host club's king and asked confused and exasperated, "Why is he sulking?"

Kadaj smirked and replied, "Because Mummy was keeping a secret from Daddy."

A vein throbbed in Sephiroth's temple, as he asked rhetorically, "Why does everyone insist on referring to us as though we are husband and wife?"

The girl, Aerith sighed dreamily, "Ours is a story of love at first sight!"

"I couldn't resist the way you admired those flowers when you thought no one was looking!"

_xXxXxXx cue inner mind theatre xXxXxXx_

_Sephiroth knelt next to the grassy knoll, the darkened sky above him contrasting with his long silvered hair, one large pale hand, calloused from where they had trained in kendo, (a Wutanese fighting style)._

_Gently the stoic boy cupped the yellow flower and tilted it so he could se it fully, a small appreciative smile playing at the corners of his mouth._

_xXxXxXx end of inner mind theatre xXxXxXx_

"Or the way you helped that little kitten in the rain!"

_xXxXxXx inner mind theatre proudly presents xXxXxXx_

_Sephiroth was walking home from school, the darkened sky had burst and the heavens had opened therefore his black umbrella was up but did little against the lashing rain._

_A pitiful meow caught his attention, his sensitive hearing pinpointing the location, a small black kitten with green eyes stared up at him from where it was huddling in attempt to get away from the rain._

_Sephiroth frowned it was November the pitiful thing would not survive on its own it was too small too young, sighing slightly, he placed his school bag and his umbrella on the wet ground and knelt down, carefully slowly, murmuring reassurances to the terrified creature he gently lifted the kitten up holding it to his chest, his uniform quickly becoming soaked with the rain, cradling it with one arm and reaching down to retrieve his umbrella and schoolbag._

_Sephiroth started as he felt a rough warm wet lick against his exposed neck, startled he looked down to see the kitten nuzzling his collar bone, chuckling lightly he lifted the now affectionate animal up, only to let loose a breathy laugh as the little pink tongue darted out again this time catching the tip of his nose._

_xXxXxXx inner mind theatre end xXxXxXx_

Aerith sighed dreamily, and the host club stared at her, disturbed at the mental images produced by her declarations.

Tentatively as though approaching a wild animal, Cloud asked, "Are you sure you've got the right person?"

_Surely she couldn't mean this Sephiroth, there must be another as there's no way she could mean, the-I-am-so-evil-I-make-the-demons-of-hell-look-like-girl-scouts shadow overlord of the host club could she?_

Aerith rounded on him exclaiming, "No way! I could recognise my love anywhere!"

"He's a gentlemen, who's kind and affectionate,-" The host club floundered the triplets desperately trying to figure out who she was talking about! Sephiroth Akumu did not rescue kittens in the rain!

"He does kind things and never asks for anything in return…"

Cloud gawked at her, thinking, _he does not! He's more heartless tax collector!_

"He enjoys solitude but sometimes he gets lonely!"

Zack reeled terrified and confused, what in Minerva's name is she on about? Since when did Mr. I-kill-you-if-you-interrupt-my-quiet-time, get lonely!

"He also looks like the character from the popular dating sim Uki-doki Memorial!"

She pointed at Sephiroth dramatically, "You are my real life Ichiyo Miyabi!"

The host club, sans Sephiroth and Cloud, froze coming to the realisation, Zack the triplets and Genesis screamed at the same time, "OTAKU!"

Cloud looked on confused, _what's an Uki-doki?_

Loz yelped loudly and threw his arms around Cloud as though to protect him from the thing dubbed an "Otaku", Yazoo looked at Aerith in horror as he murmured, "A real life Otaku…" Kadaj clung to Yazoo terrified, "I've never seen one before…"

Calmly, completely differently from the other members of the host club, Sephiroth sat down on one of the sofas, as he placed one hand in his thinking mode, as he spoke calmly, "I see, your in love with that character and are therefore projecting those feelings onto me and have somehow deluded your self into believing were engaged."

In the background Aerith twirled hearts in her eyes as she sung Sephiroth's praises and squealed excitedly.

Sephiroth continued apathetically, "I would also assume this Miyabi character also wears glasses and has long hair."

The host club gathered around the sofa where Sephiroth sat, Genesis asked tentatively, "So its not true then? She just made it up?"

Sephiroth looked at him one eyebrow raised and replied bluntly, "Well I don't recall ever asking for her hand in marriage."

The host sweat dropped almost comically as Sephiroth continued folding his arms across his chest, "Besides this the first time I have ever met the woman."

Cloud sweat dropped at Sephiroth's declaration, _he could have said something sooner!_

Suddenly Aerith placed her self next to Sephiroth clasping her hands in front of her as if she were praying to god as she reverently whilst gazing at him adoringly, "According to my research, your the clubs manager aren't you, Sephiroth?"

Zack grinned at her placing his arms on the sofa and resting his chin on Chocó in a very little kid like manner, he chirped, "Yep! Sephy-pants is the clubs director!"

Aerith looked between the puppy and her beloved before asking excitedly, "You're the clubs director? That's perfect!"

Bringing her clasped hands closer to her heart she squealed happily stars in her eyes, "Oh wow, I've always wanted to wear a sandwich board to advertise a business."

Kadaj muttered mutinously staring at the over excited girl, wincing when her high girlish voice exasperated his sensitive hearing, "We don't advertise. We're just a host club."

Aerith ignored him twirling and exclaiming, "I have made up my mind! From now on I shall be the manager of this host club!"

Kadaj frowned sighing frustrated by the fact she was not listing, Yazoo placed a hand on his arm to placate him.

Genesis hesitatingly placed his hands on the back of the sofa, where Sephiroth remained seated, he asked tentatively a nervous expression on his face, "Say Seph—"

The silver haired shadow lord cut him off, "Miss Gainsborough is the only daughter of an important Akumu family client, so please be polite and try not to offend her alright?"

Genesis deflated placing his head in his arms defeated.

Aerith smiled sweetly, green eyes sparkling as she giggles prettily, tilting her head to one side demurely and smiling as she said, "Well boys I can't wait to work with you!"

And thus for whatever reason the Lady Manager was born….

**oOoOoOo**

The next day the host boys were having a meeting before club activities started, the boys (back in their normal school uniforms) were sitting around one of the elliptical mahogany tables, cups of tea placed upon the said table, Genesis spoke in his clear voice with his Banoran accent, his voice had similar qualities to Shakespearian actors, as it was clipped and clear and carried to be heard in every corner of the room, no matter the volume.

"Well boys, I thought about it a lot last night and I think that having a Lady Manager might not be such a bad idea."

Genesis spoke from his position sitting on a rich red velvet seated sofa, Sephiroth sitting at his left as usual and Zack on his right, who happened to be munching on a biscuit childishly at the time Genesis had spoken, meaning he had choked and spluttered quite spectacularly.

Cloud and Angeal sat at opposite ends in single armchairs of the same rich crimson colour, whilst the Trio lounged on the opposite sofa to their King and cousin.

Yazoo raised a disbelieving eyebrow at exactly the same time as Sephiroth and his little broths and asked in a flat tone, "And why do you say that?"

Genesis folded his arm over his lap and brought the other up so he could rest his chin on hi hand elegantly, before replying calmly, "Well its fairly obvious isn't it? Aerith just transferred into Clouds class didn't she?"

_xXxXxXx Genesis inner mind theatre proudly presents: xXxXxXx_

_The sky was blue over the rolling meadow in the school grounds, from the top one could look out over the entire school's building complex lofty spires making it a picturesque background._

_Laughter floated on the wind._

_Atop the crown of the hill amongst yellow and white flowers sat two feminine figures garbed in the pale yellow uniforms of Shinra Academy, their hair blowing slightly in the pleasant breeze that turned the white blades of the windmill close by._

_The two looked at each other the long chestnut haired girl placed a hand upon her head in hopes of keeping the wind from blowing her bangs into her green eyes, she smiled as the wind twisted and tugged at her long braid and made the ends of her pink ribbon dance about her._

_The other figure looked back also smiling and placing a hand upon their head, to stop Chocobo gold spikes from being blown into the figures face, a plain white hair band restraining the feather like locks a little but merely making the towering spikes angle downwards slightly giving the figure a more feminine look._

_The glistening blue eyes twinkled and danced as the figure smiled and giggled slightly._

_xXxXxXx end of production xXxXxXx_

"So if Cloud has a girl friend around, Aerith's air of girlish tenderness may stimulate Clouds own sense of femininity!"

Genesis declared is hair-brained scheme in a manner that implied you were foolish if you did not see the monumental awesomeness of his plan.

Cloud sweat dropped, _good grief he never stops does he?_

Genesis became more serious as he declared, "Now is our chance to help Cloud get in touch with his feminine side, this is an important project men as Cloud had no friends in class at the moment apart from these shady Remnant brothers!"

He pointed at the said trio of brothers dramatically; in response he received three matching evil glares, though at varying degrees of evilness, as Loz could usually not bring himself to be a "meanie" and Kadaj and Yazoo snapping, "Take a good look at your self boss!"

The door opened successfully distracting Genesis from retorting to the triplets as Aerith pushed open the tall painted wood door that led to the third music room, as she chirped happily, "Hey everyone! Your new manager has baked everyone some cookies!"

The girl smiled happily as she pulled out a package of cookies wrapped in a purpled lace handkerchief,

Genesis was out of his seat and across the room before you could blink, as he proclaimed flicking his hair dramatically placing a finger upon his brow, "Oh how ladylike! I'm so moved by your generosity!"

Aerith shot him a poisonous look, as she muttered, "I didn't bake these cookies for you, you phoney prince!"

Genesis was once again defeated and crushed by her words; he curled up in his corner of gloom, which, at this stage an almost permanent feature.

Ignoring his antics with ease Aerith made her way over to Sephiroth smiling shyly with a blush, as she offered the lace lined container to him, "I'm sorry I burnt them a little bit. I did the best I could."

She sighed dreamily placing one hand on her cheek, "I all ready know what you are going to say…"

_xXxXxXx Aerith's inner mind theatre presents xXxXxXx_

_Sephiroth smiled warmly spreading his arms as though offering an embrace, as he replied kindly, "Anything that you make for me will be delicious, my darling."_

_xXxXxXx end of inner mind theatre xXxXxXx_

Aerith squealed sighing with a vibrant blush, "Your always so sweet to me!"

Zack cautiously whilst no-one was looking pinched a cookie from the container, re-adjusting Chocó he opened his moth wide with a grin to take a bite, as he gnawed on the cookie he spoke muffled slightly by the said confectionary, "She wasn't kidding these cookies really are burnt!"

Angeal appeared immediately taking the cookie from Zack exclaiming in his usual deep voice only this time laced with alarm and concern, "Don't eat that puppy, it's bad for you!"

Aerith's countersense changed instantly.

The previously sweet loving girl died and a monster took it's place, she glared at Angeal practically surrounded by the black flames of hell, vein throbbing in her forehead, eyes glowing demonically and her hair seemed to whip around her to form snakes that hissed and glared, becoming Medusa incarnate as she chased them around, whilst Angeal and Zack ran for their lives!

Zack practically cried as he fled from the enraged Under-Platian crying out, "Wahh! She's scary!"

Cloud watched the proceedings with a raised eyebrow and a slight amused smirk; gently he plucked the package off the floor from where Aerith had discarded it, shrugging he popped one in his mouth.

Cloud grinned whilst he munched away, whilst saying, "hey guys you should try these they aren't half bad! They've got a good flavour to them."

The triplets took one look at Cloud and one at the sulking boss before gaining an evil idea.

Loz wound his arms around the blond boy embracing him and holding him to his chest from behind, strong arms once again winding around the petit boys waist and placing a gentle kiss to Clouds temple before nuzzling into his soft spiky locks, Kadaj smirked placing a cookie between Clouds teeth before asking smoothly,

"May I try?"

He then lent down grasping Clouds chin to hold him in place gently and took the other end of the cookie between his teeth, and snapped it gently, before enveloping it completely with his lips all the while keeping his bluish green gaze locked of Clouds cerulean one.

Yazoo slunk around Loz and placed a hand on Clouds shoulder smirking as he mock exclaimed, "Oh Cloud, you have cookie crumbs on your cheek, here."

The boy then lowered his lips to Clouds cheek, pink tongue darting out and catching the offending crumbs before curling and retreating between pink lips, Yazoo placed a gentle kiss to the spot and purred "There you go all gone."

Something within Genesis snapped.

He was up in a flash, yelling furiously and pointing an accusing finger at the trio who were still practically wrapped around Cloud, in Loz' case literally.

"DID YOU SEE THAT! ONE ATE THE COOKIE WHILST IT WAS IN CLOUDS MOUTH WHILST THE OTHER ONE LICKED HIS FACE—"

Sephiroth merely adjusted his glasses replying in a nonchalant manner, "And suddenly the quart of classmates are closer than ever."

Cloud hesitantly touched the spot Yazoo had "Contaminated" in Genesis' mind, before looking up at the two he could see grinning at him, still perfectly comfortable in Loz' arms. "You know you could have just told me and I would have wiped it off."

He looked at Kadaj accusingly, "And if you wanted to try one there's plenty here."

The two shrugged simultaneously as Loz nuzzled deeper into Clouds hair, tightening his grip almost reflexively.

Genesis yelped like wounded animal, grasping Clouds face (though he was still secure in Loz' arms) Genesis cried, "That's not the way you're supposed to react! You're supposed to stay strong and casually brush them to the side!"

Cloud looked away from the grey blue gaze that was merely inches from his own before muttering, "This is sexual harassment Sir."

Genesis squawked out raged as Loz twirled Cloud out of his reach, "SEXUAL HARASSMENT? IF THAT COUNTS AS SEXUAL HARASSMENT THEN THEY'RE TWICE AS GULTY! NO TEN TIMES GUILTIER!"

Aerith watched the proceedings oddly seriously and quiet, her gazed thoughtful suddenly a childish voice broke her musings, "Angel-Chan, Angel-Chan?"

Aerith looked up at the childish boy who grinned at her pleasantly and offered a powder blue mug with a Chocobo on it, "Want some its milk?"

She looked at him oddly, dark green gaze still thoughtful, before looking away and murmuring a finger on her lips, "lukewarm."

Zack cocked his head to one side and did the intelligent, mature and eloquent thing to do, he asked, "Huh?"

Aerith suddenly yelled startling Zack (who thought he had made her angry at him again) and pointing at the host club, "ALL OF YOUR CHARACTERS, except for Sephiroth, ARE LUKEWARM!

The host club jumped slightly at the volume and Genesis twitched as her accusing finger landed on him terrified she was going to insult him again.

She continued her tirade at a raised volume, though not quite as loud as it had been, "Each of you needs to have some sort of dark side! Girls are venerable to handsome young men who are troubled!"

The host club stared at her in horror as she continued mercilessly, "If you keep caring on like this its only a matter of time before the girls get tired of you and stop coming all together!"

She placed her hands imperiously upon her womanly hips as she asked the loaded question, "Are you trying to ruin my precious Sephiroth's business?"

The host club stared on frozen in place.

"As your manager, it is my job to change your character backgrounds!"

She rounded on Zack who yelped tears in his eyes, "Starting with you! If all you are inside and out then your no different to a baby!"

Drawing her self to her full height she declared, "From now on you are the baby faced thug!"

"And Angeal-Sempai, you are his childhood friend who's actually a flunky!"

Angeal stared at her impassively eyebrow raised in confusion as she rounded on her next victim.

"The triplets will be aspiring martial artists, who are slaved in their own world trying desperately to earn recognition from their mother who favours their elder cousin, Sephiroth."

Loz and Kadaj clung to Yazoo in terror.

"Cloud! You are an honour student who's constantly being bullied!"

Cloud stared on in bemusement he knew this attitude from somewhere but he couldn't quite remember.

Aerith lowered her hand and turned to the King, saying in an almost calm voice, "As for you Genesis! You're the school idol who's constantly being admired for his good looks and charm, but you actually have an inferiority complex that you are hiding from the world."

Genesis sweat dropped as she spoke but as she finished his eye's widened as though having an epiphany, as Aerith declared,

"You are the lonely prince!"

The girl then twirled and gazed up at Sephiroth sweetly, saying adoringly, "Oh Sephiroth your perfect just the way you are, so I want you to stay as kind and affectionate as ever!"

As Genesis posed dramatically in the background Sephiroth gave a sweet smile that didn't suit him, to Aerith replying gentlemanly, "I'm honoured."

Genesis floundered before posing dramatically as though he were on stage and in the spotlight of some great tragedy as he spoke, "The lonely prince! Its true, that title is perfect for me!"

Cloud twitched, _I was right that girls delusions couldn't be father from the truth…_

Suddenly Sephiroth found Yazoo and Kadaj clinging to his shoulders as they stage whispered with fearful expressions, "Come on Sephiroth! You've got to stop her!"

Sephiroth merely shrugged and asked, "Why? It seems like the boss is up for it…"

The two thirds of the trio swivelled their heads, Loz' was now cuddling Cloud as though he was a stuff toy that would make the scary lady go away, the eldest and youngest Remnant shuddered as they saw Genesis pose dramatically his eye's over shadowed with a mournful expression in place.

"How about this Aerith? Is this suitable for the lonely prince?"

Aerith nodded passionately before squealing, "Yes yeas! But you know it would be even better if you were standing in the rain!"

Sephiroth addressed the sweat dropping host club (minus its king and manager) placing one hand on his chin and folding the other across his body in his "I'm plotting" pose, "Lets just see how this plays out, it should be interesting…"

He looked up at the other hosts before purring,

"It always is…."

**oOoOoOo (3)**

_The two Kendo competitors faced off, it was the qualifying round and who ever won would take part in the final with the rest of their team._

_Yazoo sighed from behind the metal ribbed mask, and readjusted his grip there was one point between them, and he was beginning to tire, but thankfully so was his opponent._

_As the flag dropped the other boy advanced as did Yazoo, as the other boy raised his arms above his head, Yazoo's eyes widened he saw an opening, like lightning he moved striking his opponent and gaining the point._

_Yazoo let out a delighted gasp behind his mask as he and the other competitor backed off and bowed, grinning he took off his mask and turned his back on the other boy as he ran to great his brothers similarly dressed, and grinning at him._

_Suddenly the coach cried out as the other boy out raged lunged at Yazoo, swinging the wooden sword at Yazoo's unprotected back._

_Yazoo went down._

_Kadaj and Loz' cried out in horror immediately running to their elder brother as the medics were called and the other boy was restrained by his team members, who yelled at him for pulling a dirty trick._

_Kadaj desperately clutched at Yazoo's hand cling to it as he would to a lifesaver, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes threatening to spill, Loz kneeling by his brother's side one arm wound around Kadaj's shaking from, as his little brother whispered heart wrenchingly to Yazoo, _

"_You promised! How could you get hurt? You promised we would win the championship for mother! To make her happy!"_

_Yazoo smiled gently, his eyes clouded in pain from his most likely broken shoulder, as he whispered, "Don't cry Kadaj, I hate it when you cry… It doesn't matter about mother, she will always choose him, I just wanted to see you smile again…"_

_Loz buried his face in his little brothers shoulder face wet with silent tears, as Kadaj clung to his big brothers hand._

"_Waiting for it to be received. A harsh tomorrow and rolling winds defy us."_

_The brothers sat together in the rain, Kadaj clinging to Yazoo's bandaged chest as Loz clung to his shoulder._

_A lonesome figure stood close enough to watch yet to far away to be included, standing in his soaked shirt and plain black slacks the figure murmured, longing and aching loneliness clinging to every syllable._

"_You know, I have always envied that about you three, no matter what happens you always have each other."_

_Kadaj looked up into the anguished blue grey eyes, more grey than blue in the rain, rusted red hair dripped with water as it clung to the slightly sun kissed skin, of the schools idol, confused he asked, _

"_But Rhapsodos-Sempai, you're the schools idol, why would you envy us, we do not even have our mothers love she always chooses him." _

_He looked away bitterly as Loz' spat, "Everyone chooses him." Before enveloping his shaking brother in his arms._

_Genesis smiled a small sad smile, one that made you wish for him to stop, to do anything but show you that smile again, he looked up closing his eyes and feeling the cold drops of rain splash his eyelids, as he spoke softly,_

"_I hate that, I hate that everyone worships me for something as superficial as my appearance, perhaps it would be better if I was alone, people never seem to understand the one thing the have that I do not, which makes them far more beautiful than I ever could be…"_

_He whispered looking towards them almost inaudibly, "You are lucky that you have your brothers who love you and whom you love in return…"_

"_Your wish where life is fostered. The Gift of the Goddess is handed down."_

_Cloud ran, his lungs burning his spiky yellow locks, curled at the tips clinging to his face making him look younger, smaller far more venerable, he stopped panting harshly as slid down the tree exhausted, bark biting into the skin of his palms as he collapsed._

_Two figures approached looming in the rain, their dark hair looking ever darker sodden from the rain._

_The shorter of the two looked up violet eyes glinting cruelly, as he smirked, "Why're ya runnin' spiky-head."_

_He knelt slightly gripping Clouds chin and forcing the shaking boy to look at him, "You should know by now you'll never get away from me…"_

_The other taller figure murmured lowly, "Just let him be Zackary, he's terrified."_

_Zack peered over his shoulder and mocked, "I didn't ask for any advice from you, don't forget just who owns you Angeal."_

_He turned back to Cloud bringing the terrified boy closer to him as he whispered cruelly once more, "Just how shall I clip your wing's my little Chocobo, I wouldn't want you to escape me after all…."_

_He loomed over the smaller boy and stared at the boy hard before…._

_Glomping him apologising profusely, "Wahhhh I'm sorry Spiky-head I didn't mean it! Forgive meeee!"_

_CUT!_

**oOoOoOo**

Aerith fumed looking at the two boys in the rain the blond blinking up at her innocently and smiling apologetically as he pet the distraught boys hair, who was lamenting loudly and bawling into Clouds shoulder.

The camera crew wince sympathetically as the girl fumed once again surrounded by the flames of hell, in her hand a script that was being brutally mutilated by perfectly manicured nails.

Aerith growled, "I told you to stick to the script! Its supposed to be dramatic, filled with tension!"

"But I can't! Chocobo-brains always look's so hurt! I can't make him cry like that!"

Sighing dramatically Aerith twirled, pointing her script, "Stop rolling camera man!"

The man nodded sticking a thumb up and intoned, "Yes Boss!"

Turning back she continued, "I want the rain to make things seem tragic!"

Watching the scene the three brothers sat in chairs whilst Sephiroth stood behind them once more scribbling in his black book of infinite doom and despair. Loz sweat dropped as he watched as he muttered, "How did changing our characters turn into shooting a movie about them?"

Clouds walked past towelling his hair dry as Zack and Aerith continued to squabble, he asked, "Why is an entire film crew here to soot it anyway?"

Sephiroth smirked adjusting his glasses, "She flew them in from Cosmo Canyon and don't you recognise the director? He's the man who director the top box office hit, the vampire movie "Millennial snow"."

Cloud raised an eyebrow at the rotund greying man, _is he really that famous? Damn these rich people!_

Kadaj ground whacking his script with his hand, "And another thing, how come this stupid thing portrays Yazoo as the pitcher?"

Yazoo nodded, "Yeah…"

Cloud blinked at them innocently, "What does that mean?"

The four silver haired boys looked at him and deadpanned, "If you don't know never mind…"

Cloud looked at the confused, _Pitcher?_

**oOoOoOo**

"Cloud!"

Genesis' exuberant tones rang out through the set, as he ran over accepting the towel Cloud handed him and loosening his sodden tie, he asked excitedly, "So how was I?"

Cloud smiled at him, "You were really believable Sir!"

As Genesis rubbed the water from his hair he grinned saying, "You think so? I've discovered a new darker side to myself! I'm starting to think it might be a good idea to explore it."

Cloud looked up at him with an earnest expression, "Are you sure about that? I think you're fine just the way you are now Sir."

Genesis face flushed, unseen by Cloud as the towel over shadowed his face, almost bashfully, he murmured fidgeting, "Well if you say so Cloud."

Cloud looked away distracted thinking, _if he gets in touch with his darker side he will be that much more trouble…_

Cloud heard Aerith calling him so he yelled back, "Coming!"

He abandoned his blushing Sempai, in favour of rounding a corner to the other set, to see Aerith waving at him, beckoning to him, "Hey Cloud over here!"

Behind her stood two of the scariest people Cloud had ever seen, Aerith just smiled and gestured to them, "These two gentlemen have just agreed to make a special appearance in our film!"

The taller (yet less scary) of the two objected, "Hey wait! Film, just what's going on here?"

Aerith continued ignoring him, "After all were going to need some tough guys for the big climax!"

The three boys gawked at her disbelievingly as she continued, "That's when all the hero's come together to fight against the real villains at their school, these two boys who are part of a wealthy family, who got their money by being a part of the mafia!"

The two boys flinched and yelled out raged, "What the hell is wrong with this girl? What ever my Dad does it's got nothing to do with me!"

Cloud attempted to intervene, "Wait a minuet, Aerith—"

Aerith was tugging the mafia bosses son's arm and pulling him in the direction of the set, "Just come over here and wait for your cue—"

Suddenly the boy (the shorter and scarier one) yanked out of her hold on his arm and pushed her away yelling, "You think you can push me around? You don't even know me!"

Crying out Cloud called to Aerith as she fell backwards into some precariously balanced stage equipment.

There was a loud crash that drew the attention of everyone on the set.

Aerith opened her eyes trembling slightly, as she was gently pushed foreword by Cloud, who at the last second had got between her and the staging equipment, slowly Cloud slid to his knee's hand over his eyes.

Aerith, immediately worrying over his health, questioned him, "Are you alright Cloud?"

Cloud spoke lowly his voice tinged with pain; "You can't do that Aerith, if you judge people by their appearances' your stereotyping them and you'll never see the person inside…"

Aerith looked down eyes sad as she murmured, "I-I don't understand… Why did you…"

Genesis rounded the corner jogging slightly as he asked, "What happened Cloud we heard a crash—"

Genesis trailed off suddenly as Cloud looked up, blue eyes glistening with pain as a single crystalline tear slipped down a pearlescent cheek.

Genesis' eyes darkened with anger as he darted foreword with startling speed, he grabbed the shorter of the two thugs who was still standing with his arm out stretched, by the collar and slammed him into the wall.

Towering over the shorter man Genesis spoke lowly in a menacing tone, "So which one of you jerks started this?"

The other boy called out, "No wait Rhapsodos! It's not what you think! That girl started it!"

Cloud stood whipping the tears from his eyes as he supported their claim, "He's telling the truth Sir and it wasn't their fault."

Staring at the blond boy Genesis let the boys collar go, terrified the two boys fled as Genesis walked over to Cloud and gently gripped the boys shoulders, as he stooped to Clouds level he asked, "Are you alright Cloud are you in any pain?"

Cloud answered with, "Yeah…" he slowly brought his hand away from his eyes revealing a contact lens, "My contact lens fell out so the light here is burning my eyes."

Genesis froze before laughing and placing a hand on his head, "Ah I see how it is your able to cry without using eye drops! You truly are a host!"

Aerith stared before whispering, "You-You, Please tell me you got that camera man?"

At a "Yes Boss" Aerith clenched her fist with the script in it, "Apart from Cloud's contact falling out that was a perfect final scene! Now all it need's is a moving narration by my beloved Seph—"

SMASH

There stood Sephiroth arm out stretched holding a rock over the smashed camera lens, calmly he spoke, "I am afraid I can't allow any record of a club member participating in violence, I am afraid you've caused quite enough trouble for now Aerith. Please stop being such a pest."

Aerith froze looking at him with large hurt bottle green eyes, as she whispered, "Why Sephiroth? You're supposed to pat me on the head and tell me not to worry! You're supposed to be kind and affectionate!"

Glistening tears slid down her cheeks as she murmured, "Why? Why are you acting so differently now?"

Genesis murmured, "Because that's not the real Sephiroth."

Aerith turned to face the red head before falling to her knees.

"Does it matter?" Cloud asked gently as he knelt in front of the crying girl, smiling at her encouragingly.

"Who cares if Sephiroth's a little different than you expected him to be? Take a good look at the person inside and get to know them little by little."

Cloud smiled broadly, "Its just more fun that way."

**oOoOoOo**

_The Sephiroth look a like smiled warmly, "Now Aerith why do you looks so down? Come one now you learnt an important lesson today, so smile for me okay? I'm so glad you finally understand, I think your ready to move on to the next level Aerith."_

**oOoOoOo**

"Hello ladies come on in…"

The host club were clustered around one of the large sofas whilst their guests sat on or stood around the sofa opposite the band of handsome young men.

One of the girls squealed happily a vibrant blush in place as she chirped, "I bought a copy of that film you made!"

The other girls crowed in agreement and delight, as the girl continued, "That scene in the rain was just phenomenal!"

"I loved the lonely prince!"

"And the loving relationship between the Remnants! it was so sweet how they strived for their mothers approval!"

As the girls squealed and sighed, the host club watched the scene twitching slightly none of them moving until they heard, "Oh I want Puppy to act like a thug again!"

Genesis twitched he raised his hand and murmured warningly, "Sephiroth…."

As the hosts turned to look at him (minus the Remnants they were too transfixed with the strange sight of the girls "Fangirling") Sephiroth smirked making notes once more in his book.

"I may have broken the camera's lens but the footage inside was unharmed. Naturally I did cut out that one violent scene."

Finishing his notes he turned and gave Genesis a sweet smile that would terrify the strongest of men, before saying just as sweetly, " Sales have been pretty good so far. That Cosmo Canyon film crew did a fantastic job, but I guess that's to be expected."

The Remnants sweat dropped having dragged them selves away from the sight of the fangirls to stare at their elder cousin, "So is this what you meant by interesting?"

Sephiroth merely shrugged saying diplomatically, "Its always best to have as much money as we can in the clubs budget."

Cloud gawked at him, _Just when did he start calculating all of this?_

A shy voice distracted the host club from questioning the creepy boy further, "Hi everyone. Good afternoon."

Genesis questioned looking at the girl confused, "Aerith? I thought you had gone back to Under-plate already."

Aerith seemingly not hearing him murmured, "I can't believe I didn't realise it sooner, the way you saved me and lectured me about judging people, those eyes and that accent! I'm so sorry I didn't recognise you Cloud!"

She clasped her hands and looked at the terrified blond boy who was thinking furiously, _I know her…. She can't be... Please god no! …_

"How could I not recognise my best friend! You used to model all my latest dress designs for me in Middle school before I moved!"

Cloud gasped horrified as Aerith grabbed his arm and pulled him in the direction of the changing rooms, "Come along, I have loads of new designs for you to try, Miss Cloud!"

Genesis watched in despair, as Cloud was dragged away by the deranged girl, crying out with anime tears in his eyes, "Noooooo don't take Cloud from meeee!"

The triplets asked confused, "But Boss we thought you wanted Aerith to help Cloud get in touch with his feminine side."

"YES BUT NOT KIDNAPPED AND FORCED TO CROSSDRESS!"

* * *

**O_O;; so many words...**

**(!) i thinks as this is copywrited i have to do a disclaimer so its not mine okies? ^ ^**

**(2)japanese for upper classmen**

**(3) i have no idea how kendo matches work so this is all made up kays ^ ^ **

**PS. REVIEW! PLEASE! they make me update faster!**


	5. Nightmare health spa!

**Hi sorry this took three weeks (Err…. Five after editing) O.o; I have been swamped under coursework, But here you go! Enjoy!**

_**Italics: Clouds/others thoughts, Genesis inner mind theatre**_

**Underlined: Tannoy thingymabob!**

**PS! I have skipped two episodes! The reason why is: 1) I find the episode "the grade school host" mind numbing and unless there's a public out cry I won't complete the chapter, as the brief paragraph I have written in this story pretty much sums up the episode! **

**2) The triplets are not identical, why would they argue? O.o;;**

**3) it just means we can get to the SephyXCloud goodness sooner? XD**

**

* * *

**

**Shinra High School Host Club**

Crystalline blue waves lapped gently at the golden sands beneath them, the gentle lull of the rhythm forming a pleasant feeling of serenity. As the waves pulled back and forth the pearlescent froth formed and left silvered trails in their wake.

An exotic bird called braking the spell, its strange slightly flat noted call ringing in the open air, tall palms loomed framed by the azure cloudless sky and the blazing sun that hung high in the sky.

As the figure gazing up twirled to spy the lush vegetation a far lighter shade of green to the waxy leaves of the palms, the sun making the colours seem that much more vivid in the humid air.

_Wait a minuet am I dreaming?_

Cloud stared as a large green bird flew past its tail feathers were a vibrant orange and a bright yellow of a similar shade, upon its head a crown of gold and orange rested trailing after the bird like ribbons tied to a little girls hair.

Cloud stood standing in a plain yellow pullover and dark green board shorts with a plain striped design, gawking at the sight presented to him as his mind desperately tried to process the sight before him, his golden brows draw inwards into a look of confusion.

_We are in Midgar right? And Midgar isn't famous for its tropical locals…_

Suddenly a hand was placed upon his shoulder as the ever exuberant red head flicked his rusted locks and murmured reverently, pale chest revealed to the world, as he stood only in his ruby board shorts, plain but obviously far more expensive than Cloud's.

"Behold, Cloud… Bask in the beauty of tropical birds!"

Cloud pulled a face as Genesis practically sparkled besides him, posing dramatically as he indicated to the magnificent avian creatures perched upon the higher branches of the trees, birds Cloud adamantly believed that he had seen in a Gongagan postcard.

Genesis clung to the Chocobo look a like, grey blue eyes wide as he stared up adoringly at the large red and gold birds which preened their extravagant plumage, one looked down at them with what Cloud would swear was a dirty look before Genesis flourished dramatically,

"Aren't they pretty? I wonder what their called…."

Cloud replied in his usual manner towards his exuberant Sempai, "where's the exit again?"

**oOoOoOo**

Cut ice cubs clinked as they came into contact with the crystal glass as a straw was thrust into the ruby liquid, displacing it causing bubbles to form, a single droplet slid down the outside of the glass leaving a trail in the misty condensation that had formed.

Genesis lounged elegantly on one of the white deckchairs of painted metal, next to him was one of the marble topped tables in the same shape of white supported by tree conjoined poles of metal that formed a column in the centre a large parasol stood proudly above the table, its pole secured by the column that supported said table.

Genesis himself was holding the glass of ruby liquid and ice, his straw poking out from the assortment of tropical decorations, a little umbrella, a slice of pineapple and a segment of orange impaled upon the rim of the cut crystal glass.

Cloud stood close buy a board expression adorned his face as he glared at nothing still fuming over being brought to this tropical "paradise" against his will, Genesis spoke in a relaxed manner as he sighed,

"Its important for to spend time relaxing like this you know? It gives us time to refine our beauty, instead of being looked at around the clock…."

Cloud deadpanned apathetically, "I don't really care for such pointless activities, so can I go now?"

Cloud looked up at the sky, past the blue linen parasol that shaded Genesis's relaxed form, another large exotic bird flew across his vision a blue on this time that had pink and purple tail feathers as he continued,

"I want to study, besides I have ton's of laundry to do today!"

Cloud looked out over the large pool of deep blue water and watched the fish dart in and out of each other as the larger fish swam through the slivery shoals, he looked around seeing the hut like shelter behind them adorned with a palm leaf roof and yellow tropical flowers, the hibiscus' large crinkled petals and long stigma distinctive of a warm climate, there were more palms in flower beds laden with more red flowers of the same type as the yellow flowers.

The sky was encased by hexagonal panels of glass forming a large dome the floor was covered with white sand, most likely to make it look more like a Gongagan paradise…

"Where is this place anyway?"

**oOoOoOo**

**A littler earlier that day…**

The clock tower of Shinra academy clock face read 3: 38 as the large wrought iron minuet hand moved into place with a mechanical clunk.

Cloud sighed as he walked down the steps of Shinra's south gate towards a large fountain that stood just out side made of the same white stone which covered the court yard, behind him through the impressive marble arch, was the said clock tower far beyond the wide driveway lined with tall Plane trees (1) clipped into conical shapes.

Cloud sighed he had no club duties today thank the lord as he had a huge amount of laundry to do as he was behind thanks to the crazy rich people he was coerced into working for.

Besides this past week had been spent trying to teach a grade school brat named Denzel how to be a host so he could impress a girl in his Classical music club, turns out she was Doctor Barrett's daughter Marlene, how Cloud was not so sure…. Small world huh…

Suddenly two strong muscled arms wound around his waist braking his train of thought, before his brain could process what was happening (and before he could protest) his two arms were apprehended by two smirking menaces Cloud exclaimed loudly as Loz cuddled closer supporting a matching smirk to his brothers as he murmured triumphantly,

"Target captured!"

Cloud's mind was in turmoil as he stared at the grinning Kadaj on his left before swivelling his head to gawk at the smirking Yazoo, Loz all the while nuzzling Clouds yellow gold locks.

"Eh, wait, what are you doing!"

Clouds attention was drawn away as a sleek black limo pulled up next to the foursome, a blacked out window rolled down to reveal Genesis smirking wearing a pair of sunglasses and a garland of some nameless tropical flowers, a rusted eyebrow raised at him and a grey eye was visible from behind the sunglasses, the King of the host club smirked and sipped his tropically adorned drink before saying imperiously,

"Good lets take him in…."

The triplets coursed "Roger!" before Genesis wound the window back up, Cloud gawked before spluttering, "Hey wait a second don't I get a say?

The poor boy was then dragged away by the evil and grinning Remnant brothers. Once he had disappeared from view the limo then drove away to some mysterious location the occupants making no attempt to rescue Cloud who had been apprehended by the brothers three.

**oOoOoOo**

Sephiroth smirked from his position reclining in a more upright chair than Genesis', one hand clasped around his own tropical styled drink, his was an unnerving shade of acid green that matched his eyes, and was adorned in much the same way as Geneses' was, albeit his glass was far more rounded.

The silver haired shadow lord smirked adjusting his glasses; he was dressed in a neatly pressed white shirt with three blood red hibiscuses down the right hand side, his glasses reflecting the dazzling sunshine, concealing his acid green gaze.

Sephiroth spoke in his usual purring tone, "This theme park is owned by the Akumu group. The "Akumu Tropical Aqua Garden"."

Cloud turned as Sephiroth spoke he looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "But Sephiroth, Sir, doesn't your family run hospitals or medical facilities?"

Sephiroth smirked looking out over the ancient Cetera styled statues placed at the centre of the flowerbeds, "Well it's a diverse company, that has considerable influence in a lot of things, but one could say that this was therapeutic."

"There are many people who are over worked who would love to take a vacation to the south tropics but are unable to find the funds to do so or get the time off work. "

The green-eyed man repositioned his glasses smirking, as Cloud nodded in confusion not really understanding, Sephiroth then continued,

"This theme park was created with that in mind as those people can now come here to reduce their stress levels…"

Cloud sweat dropped _but doesn't Akumu mean nightmare in Wutanese? Surely it's not a great marketing plan, if it is supposed to be therapeutic, to call it the "nightmare" tropical garden? _

Sephiroth practically purred with his terrifying smile, "The Akumu groups primary concern is for the health of its clients after all…"

Cloud shivered, _the way he said it made it sound really shady…_

Sephiroth looked out at the large pool, he watched as Zack dressed in yellow and blue swimming trunks and who's bronzed arms were adorned by Chocobo print armbands, glomped the stoic Angeal who was dressed in swimming trunks that had his normal colours of dark blue and navy.

As Zack tackled Angeal into a hug he grinned spraying droplets of the turquoise water everywhere, evidently enjoying himself as even Angeal had an amused glint in his eyes.

In the far distance in the slightly deeper part of the pool the triplets were playing "Piggy in the middle" therefore Yazoo and Loz were effortlessly throwing a brightly coloured beach ball over Kadaj's head whilst the youngest pouted yelling at them to stop being mean!

Sephiroth continued his tirade at (rather then to) Cloud, "the park doesn't officially open until next month but the host club got a special advanced invitation."

Next to them, Genesis ran a hand through his hair sighing contentedly a small smile in place as he lounged in the sunshine, he murmured quietly,

"This is so relaxing… we don't have to be worried about serving our guests either…"

He smiled opening his eyes and gazing up at the azure sky, "It is truly like a vacation for handsome young soldiers…"

Cloud sweat dropped.

**oOoOoOo**

"Spiky-Head!"

Zack appeared out of nowhere to glomp the poor Niebel boy and cuddle him exuberantly to his chest, Cloud flailed at first before surrendering to his fate and just let Zack cuddle him whilst rubbing his cheek against Cloud's feather like yellow locks.

"Hey, hey, Chocobo-head! Do you want to eat some mango cake with me? It's yummy! Reminds me of home!"

At this point Zack had released Cloud in favor of bouncing around him like a hyperactive puppy,

"Oooooo I know! Why don't we have some coconut juice! Its like milk only not and sweet! You'll love it!"

Cloud giggled at his antics smiling and letting himself be dragged off whilst saying, "Sure Zack, I'll have some coconut juice with you."

As Zack bounded away to go fetch it (as Cloud was being far too slow) Cloud spotted Angeal watching another of the tropical birds fly past as he walked towards the edge if the white stone towards the deeper end of the pool. A Bridge extended beside where he stopped as safe passage over the current pool that flowed like a lazy river around the park.

Angeal seemingly sensing Clouds gaze turned to look at him, face impassive as ever, his face as usual slightly unshaven and his hair combed back as ever, Cloud had been surprised at the number of scar's he had the first time he had seen his chest unclothed from when Genesis had had that crazy idea to dress like the Cetera's and filled the Club room with a miniature Gongagan jungle.

Cloud's train of thought was broken as Kadaj called loudly from behind him standing with Yazoo who was smiling up at Loz who was happily munching on a banana, dressed (as were all three of the brothers) in their orange and blue striped swimming trunks.

"Hey Cloud want to go play in the waterfall with us?"

Yazoo frowned as he took in Clouds appearance dressed in the too big yellow pullover and the dark green board shorts, "what's with the get up? "

Cloud looked sheepish as he tugged on the collar of the yellow monstrosity, as he muttered,

"Well you see—"

**oOoOoOo**

**Earlier that day…**

Cloud sighed as he was dragged by the Remnants past a painted totem pole with two signs one to "toilets" and the other to "changing rooms", the totem pole its self was a craved form of a behemoth that was painted garishly and had its teeth bare to the world.

The trio of silverettes dragged him off to the left past the sign to "changing rooms", Cloud gulped he had a horrible feeling about this…

The trio of devil spawn smiled in their usual evil manner and chorused, "okay! Please take care of him!"

Cloud blinked dazedly up at two longhaired girls dressed in frilled Victorian maid uniforms, they looked almost identical, the one in the right, smiled tilting her hear to one side a smile gracing perfectly blushed cheeks,

"Very well! We'll see what we can do!"

The other smiled in the same way and tilted her head in the same direction chirping happily, "Okay Mr. Strife this way please!" before her face morphed into an evil sadistic look.

Cloud backed away terrified, he recognized that look from Aerith and it usually ended in him dressed in some sort of Lolita maid costume. As he backed up he bumped into Loz, he looked up he realised with cold terror, the brothers had the same expression that the crazy ladies did...

He spluttered as their arms reached out to him, "J-just a minuet! W-what are y-you going to d-do to me?"

Cloud received no answer as he was dragged off (once again) into the changing room and the door slammed shut.

The trio waited hands on hip's listening to Cloud yelping as the maids practically ripped his clothes from him.

"Hey w-wait! W-what do you think your doing!"

Maid #1 chirped happily, " We have some swimsuits for you to try on!"

Yazoo called to Cloud smiling cheekily, "We brought all our mothers latest designs for you to try on!"

As Cloud gawked at the row upon row of different swimsuits he realised they were mostly girls' swimsuits! He raised a hand to try and point this out when Loz called, "You can pick whichever one you want!"

By this time Genesis had joined the trio and stood between them listing intently to what was going on inside, the two maids chirped in chorused, "Okay Mr. Strife please choose one!"

Cloud frowned pouting slightly as he spoke, "No thank you! I don't need a swimsuit and especially not a fema—"

He was cut off when Maid #2 squealed, "Then we shall select one for you!"

Genesis loomed listening in and jumped startled as heard Cloud exclaiming angrily, "Hold on why are you holding a Speedo? I'm most certainly not wearing one of those!"

Maid # 1 pouted and whined, "But you'd look so good in this one!"

The triplets looked at their twitching lord, wondering mildly just what he was thinking, they looked back towards the changing room when they heard Maid #2 squeal once more,

"Oh look! I bet this one would be cute!"

Inside the changing rooms Cloud looked on in horror at what the crazy maid was holding, he spluttered indignantly at the scantily cut bikini bottom's she was holding, that looked like it would barely cover anything even on a girl!

"Hold on! That's a girl's bikini bottom! And it looks like it's barely anything but string!"

Out side the changing room Genesis' brain imploded as he fell backwards in a dead faint smoke forming a mushroom cloud above his head.

Eventually Cloud picked one, thankfully it was for boys but as Cloud looked down at the baby blue sailor styled Victorian boys swimsuit, complete with the sailor like collar and the knee length shorts that were one piece, he felt like something from a BL manga, (another thing Aerith had forced him to do was to read her BL manga's with her).

Sighing to him self and thanking the planet it wasn't a bikini he opened the changing room door, and stepped out into the sunshine.

His attention was immediately drawn to the flamboyant host club king who was walking towards him deliberately not looking until with a flourish of an almost critical manner he turned his head to look at Cloud.

_xXxXxXx Genesis' vision! xXxXxXx_

_Genesis' eyes trailed Clouds form slowly moving upwards from his exposed lower legs passed the knee length shorts that clung to Cloud like a second skin, upwards past the snow white ribbon tie that was framed by the white edge wide pale blue collar that was cut like a sailors uniform, up towards Clouds face._

_Cloud blinked up at him innocently a slight blush dusting his cheeks, Blue eyes staring up trustingly…._

_It was too much!_

_xXxXxXx end of Genesis' vision! xXxXxXx_

Genesis stared star struck, an endearing blush dusting his cheeks as he stared dumbfounded.

A shiver went down his spine and he looked away, his face an adorable cherry red, as he coughed and held out the yellow pullover and shorts to Cloud, he declared,

"H-hurry and put this on would you?"

Cloud blinked at him and asked, "Genesis, Sir?"

"A boy of your stature shouldn't go round dressed so provocatively!"

**oOoOoOo**

The triplets stared apathetically as Loz discarded his banana peel, after Cloud had finished his story, before pouting and asking,

"So you're not coming swimming with us?"

Kadaj seemingly getting a thought, asked, "By any chance, are you unable to swim?"

Cloud stared at him, and deadpanned, "I can swim just as well as the next guy but places like this just don't appeal to me."

He turned to look out at the scenery spying the large yellow waterslide in the distance, "I'd much rather be at home studying then here goofing off."

The triplets raised their eyebrows simultaneously as they listened to Cloud ranting to himself, "Honestly! What's so good about a place like this anyway? I just don't get it! In reality all you need is an inflatable paddling pool to play in the water!"

Yazoo tilted his head to one side, "Paddling pool? What's that?"

Cloud turned to look at him surprised before looking thoughtful and placing one finger upon his chin, before stretching his arms out to indicate the size,

"Well it's about this big and round and to use it you need to pump it full of air!"

Loz snickered as Kadaj spoke, "You dunce! That's an inflatable boat silly!"

Loz agreed whilst Yazoo nodded in affirmation, "Yeah there is no way something that small could be used as a pool!"

Cloud frowned a little pouting at them, "It's a pool! Haven't you ever seen little kids playing in them in summer?"

Unseen to Cloud Genesis grabbed the triplets and pulled them away so the four of them were crouched down in a circle, as Genesis hissed, "You idiots! If Cloud thinks it's a pool it's a pool! Don't go embarrassing Cloud!"

Kadaj raised an eyebrow at him as Yazoo whispered, "You expect us to lie to him?"

Kadaj nodded, "Yeah a boats a boat!"

Cloud frowned a vein throbbing in his forehead as he muttered mutinously, "for some reason I feel unpleasant all of a sudden."

Suddenly Loz shot up to stand at his full height the other conspirators doing the same, "Anyway there is something that's been bothering me!"

Yazoo hummed in agreement and placed a hand on his chin as stared at Genesis in a scrutinising manner, "Yeah, Sir, why did you make Cloud cover up like that?"

Genesis gulped blushing, his arms crossed defensively.

Kadaj continued, "Ordinarily I would have thought you be all, "I wanna see Cloud in a swimsuit" and roll around on the floor acting like a spoilt child."

Kadaj gained an evil look as he stared at Genesis maliciously enjoying seeing the red head squirm, "It was unexpected."

Yazoo slapped a hand over his mouth in mock horror and stage whispered to Kadaj, "I can't imagine it this, but do you think its because he doesn't want anyone but himself to see Cloud's skin or something like that?"

Loz copied Yazoo's mock horror look (but it was undermined by the malicious aura that practically radiated off him) and gasped, "Oh is that what it is!"

Kadaj pretended to look scandalised but like his big brother, was betrayed by his sadistic aura, "That would be quite deplorable wouldn't it!"

Yazoo nodded mockingly he too now unable to contain his own malevolent aura, "Oh yes creepy too!"

Genesis cried out blushing slightly, "I-idiots!" before waving his arms frantically, "As his father, its only natural! Its what any responsible guardian would do!"

He coughed slightly in an attempt to compose himself, "Besides even if it's a swim suit a young person of Clouds Uke-ish nature should not be parading around in front of boys showing that much skin!"

The triplets did not reply they merely pointed behind him, Genesis turned around confused, only to spy Cloud standing behind him in earshot not looking very amused.

Genesis upon spying Clouds expression winced visibly.

"Spiky-head!"

Zack called out, distracting Cloud from his revenge thus saving Genesis' life.

Cloud turned in the direction of the voice only to be once more squished in Zackary Fair's rather muscled chest. The diminutive blond boy blinked up at the grinning puppy from where he was nestled in armband-clad arms, wondering blearily, _Must he always do this?_

Zack chirped happily, seemingly oblivious to Clouds distress at being squished and cuddled as though he were a life sized Chocobo plushy, at this realisation Cloud suddenly felt a huge surge of respect for Angeal and just how patient the honour bound boy must be.

"Hey, hey Spiky, want to go swimming in the current pool with me?"

Cloud smiled slightly that was so like Zack but he shook his head anyway, and replied, "no I'm not going to swim today, sorry Zack"

Zack grinned unaffected, "Darn, I'm not going to get to see this swimsuit Gennie-pie is so worked up about am I?"

Cloud raised an eyebrow, "And just what's that supposed to mea—wait Zack you know how to swim yes?"

Zack nodded enthusiastically now doing squats next to Cloud energetically grinning all the while, Cloud continued and adorably confused look upon his face,

"Then why are you wearing arm bands?"

Zack grinned sheepishly straightening up and spoke, "Ahh you see when I was little my Ma always used to say, 'Zackary! Put those armbands on! How else am I going to be able to tell you apart from the other frogs when you get touch-me-frogged!' "

Zack pulled a mock stern expression before pulling a silly face making Cloud giggle, " It doesn't matter anyway, it just looks cuter this way!"

He laughed in his infectious laugh making Cloud's smile widen, _Zack truly is adorable at times, just like a real puppy._

The triplets grinned form behind Cloud as he said smiling, "I get it because of the Chocobo design!"

The triplets smiled as well, "Silly and excitable, that's Puppy-Sempai for you!"

A voice whispered, "lukewarm."

Suddenly there was an almighty crash as the gears hidden under the ground started to move forcing the plat formed rig to spin upwards through the now open gap where the flowerbed had been, the palms slanting sideways the same way they did in the old Thunderbirds shows with the puppets, and how the palms would slant to allow Thunderbird two to launch from Tracy island. (2)

On top of the rig stood the posing Aerith dressed in a black bikini only (oddly enough) she had a large intricate blue marking upon her stomach, and a parasol in her hand, her hair was platted differently than usual but her usual pink ribbon was tied at the end.

Cloud gawked (barely noticing when Loz clung to him scared of the fangirl) and muttered, "Does that rig follow us?"

Genesis came to join them he too staring at Aerith confused, as Yazoo murmured to himself, "Wow what's with the get up?"

Cloud scratched his head confused as he looked at his childhood friend / nemesis before asking, "Did you always have that design on your stomach?"

Aerith giggled, "No silly I'm cosplaying!"

Cloud pouted a little put out, "as whom?"

Aerith smiled and posed, "can't you tell?"

Cloud frowned, "no"

Aerith sighed dramatically and said, "La-la."

Loz frowned, still cuddling Cloud as he asked confused, "La-la? As in the manga magazine?"

Aerith sighed dramatically again stars in her eyes, "Her petite and slender frame! Her blue eyes that light up young men's hearts! Her singing voice! I am Quon Kisaragi!(3)"

Kadaj sweat dropped, "I couldn't tell."

As Aerith forced Cloud to watch her pose dramatically Genesis and the triplets crouched together to discus Aerith's state of dress, Yazoo whispered conspiringly to the King, "Hey boss, do you really think its okay for Aerith to go round dressed like that?"

Genesis looked thoughtful, "no I think its okay."

"Why?"

Genesis looked thoughtful for another moment before replying, "Because its Coplay?"

The triplets looked sceptical but before they could comment, Aerith once more commanded their attention by declaring,

"In any case! Your understanding of Puppy-Sempai is lukewarm!"

Even though she received blank looks she ploughed on regardless, pointing at the current pool where Zack had just jumped in and called to Angeal as he floated past giggling, Angeal smile slightly eyes softening as he looked at the exuberant boy.

Genesis looked bemused as he asked, "so what? The puppy's behaving like he always does!"

"If you look closely Puppy sempai isn't as "silly" as he seems!" Aerith smirked crossing her arms and placing her fingers in a thinking pose, before continuing,

"Remember what he said before?"

_xXxXxXx_

_Pulling a silly face making Cloud giggle, " It doesn't matter anyway, it just looks cuter this way!"_

_xXxXxXx_

Sephiroth smirked joining the conversation for the first time, adjusting his glasses menacingly, "I agree with Aerith, for example try putting "I" at the beginning of the sentence."

The group collectively gained thinking poses nodding,

"_It just looks cuter this way!"_

A mental image of Zack with an evil look presented its self, "I look cute!"

Suddenly the group whirled around simultaneously thinking, _He planned that!_

Aerith giggled at their expressions, "Its expected of Puppy-Sempai! He knows people underestimate him because of the way he acts, and he uses that to his advantage!"

As she slowly disappeared with the rig, the others gloomed as she giggled once more, "I have really got to give him more credit! He's a lot smarter than he looks!

"Hey, Hey! Look you guys!"

Zack called loudly to gain the others attention, when the others looked at him he waved exuberantly, calling, "Look even though Angeal's swimming really fast were not going anywhere!"

Angeal was swimming briskly in the wrong direction against the current pool and therefore was unmoving, upon his back sat Zack grinning like an idiot as he laughed his head off as he watched the water flow past rapidly,

Cloud looked down thoroughly bemused, _what's his deal? Is he really that deep?_

Genesis turned around when he heard a strange squeaking sound from behind him only to be shot in the face by a torrent of water!

He gasped dramatically as the triplets stood readying their multicolored water pistols, as they laughed at the Boss' expression of utter disbelief before Loz called, "Come on Boss have a water fight with us!"

Yazoo smiled, "It would be us three against you!"

Kadaj snickered pumping his water gun to fire another shot, "Yeah! If you get it in the face you loose!"

Genesis wiping his face in the towel he had plucked from the nearby table sniffed dismissively, "Certainly not! Who would want to play a childish game like that?"

The triplets grinned at each other mischievously.

Cloud started when once again he felt Loz' arms around his waist looking up he spied Loz' smirking at him before nuzzling into Clouds locks murmuring, "Cloud I do believe I wish to marry you!"

Cloud raised an eyebrow at him as Yazoo clutched his left hand to his heart whilst Kadaj held Clouds right to his own heart, Yazoo murmured cupping Clouds face in his free hand, "We would treat you well Cloud,"

Whilst Kadaj murmured smirking at the Boss over Loz' shoulder, "Yes, all _three _of us."

Genesis twitched violently, before readying his own water gun murmuring viciously, "Did you really think I would let such shady brothers take advantage of Cloud?"

He then turned yelling furiously, "DADDY SAYS NO!"

oOoOoOo

Ice cubes clinked in the glass as Cloud sipped at his lemonade through a straw, Cloud sat in one of the white metal chairs that sat around the tables as he sipped his drink contentedly.

Cloud looked up as a shadow blocked the sunshine he was rather enjoying from him, looking up he saw Angeal gently thumping the side of his head with the heal of his hand as though to get water out of his ears.

Cloud looked from Angeal to Zack who was currently bobbing along pleasantly in the current pool, effortlessly staying still even against the current, Cloud completely ignored the water gun war that was happening around him, not even noticing when Genesis ran past "tactically retreating" from the Remnant brothers three who were close on his tail.

Cloud smiled up at Angeal offering the glass he had been drinking from, "Taking a brake huh? Would you like something to drink?"

Angeal's expression didn't change as he murmured "ahh thank you" and took the offered drink.

oOoOoOo

The three remnants ducked behind the trees to avoid the King's water shots, before darting out and firing shots of there own Genesis boldly charged on and yelled, "TAKE THIS!"

The red head then promptly jumped side ways firing his water gun and yelling, "SIDEWAYS SUPERFIREING SHOT!"

The triplets merely produced giant carved shields from nowhere and as Genesis did a backwards flip to his feet he yelled, "That's cheating!"

Just when he was about to land his foot caught the banana peal Loz' had discarded earlier and slid across the white stone, arms flailing wildly as the triplets laughed, Genesis then did two forward rolls unwillingly and landed face first onto the giant totem pole that was close by.

Suddenly the eye's of the totem poles carved monsters glowed red as the screens behind it began to glow in geometric patterns, the triplets sweat dropped, this couldn't be good!

Zack giggled as he kicked against the current, Cloud and Sephiroth (who was standing close to Cloud) looked over at Angeal who had just dropped the glass that Cloud had given him before running towards, yelling, "Puppy!"

Zack looked up when he heard Angeal calling his name but then froze a look of horror on his face as he realised there was a twenty-foot wave about to crash into him.

Zack was then dragged under swirling with the current, Angeal ran towards him but tripped and fell on the same banana peel as Genesis and crashed to the floor, uncharacteristically clumsily.

Cloud looked on confused as he too had been running but to see Angeal act so clumsily was strange.

Genesis thrust his arm in the air posing dramatically, declaring, "Everyone we are going after Zack!"

He then pointed across the bridge towards the jungle that loomed in that section of the park, "To find the end of the pool the shortest direction is that way! CHARGE!"

The group then charged in that direction whilst Sephiroth called, "I don't believe it is a good idea to go that way, there are—"

He was cut off by Genesis' high pitched scream as six (relatively) small Gongagan crocodiles snapped at his ankles as he dangled over the pool in which the resided having foolishly run straight off a cliff only just grabbing onto one of the leaning palms.

The group then made a hasty retreat back to where they started tears streaming from Genesis' eyes, when they reached the place they began, Genesis declared once again taking up his "Hero pose",

"Okay so the pool is out! Let us take this root!"

He then swiveled and pointed in another direction this time off to the left.

Genesis bravely charged first before running into some Gongagan frogs, the group sweat dropped collectively as they watched there esteemed "king" hop about as a little red frog for twenty minuets. The group then tried another rout only to find Gongagan crocodiles guarded this one too.

Cloud panted slightly as he murmured breathless, "how can there be crocodiles here too?"

Genesis answered just as out of breath, "I have no idea!"

Sephiroth spoke from where he leaned against a palm tree, perfectly calm and collected and writing something in a smaller version of his "Black Book Of Eternal Doom", he answered Clouds question nonchalantly,

"Those pools are the tropical animal area and I suppose it _is_ dangerous to let the Gongagan crocodiles run loose but the main problem is the current pool control switch, I shall have to speak to the designers…"

Sephiroth the snapped the book shut and smiled chillingly at the group of exhausted hosts; "Thanks to you we have lots of valuable data, so thank you all for your hard work."

"WHAT FOR!" the group exclaimed angrily frustrated by the idea they had been used as guinea pigs.

**oOoOoOo**

As the group stood in front of the large board decorated with a map of the part outside the "beach shack" styled changing rooms, Sephiroth spoke, "This is the Akumu tropical aqua garden map and it shows us the entire complex in relation to where we are standing."

"This is out present location," Sephiroth indicated to the small red symbol that represented the changing rooms with the end of his pen. Then he trailed the pen upwards, up the board, to rest upon a pool on the other side of an unlabeled jungle area, "and this is the end of the current pool."

Re-adjusting his glasses as the Host club loomed over his shoulders to gaze intently at the board he spoke again smirking slightly,

"To get there we would have to travel through this undeveloped area to the southern end of the park. Distance wise we are talking about 800 metres."

Cloud and Genesis (who had taken up a serious thinking pose) stared on nodding before Cloud piped up frowning slightly in apprehension, "there seem to be a lot of undeveloped jungle areas in the way is it safe?"

Sephiroth gave his usual diplomatic not answer, "Well the area is still under development."

Kadaj and Yazoo looked from Sephiroth to Loz who shook his head, "that means there could be all sorts of dangerous things in there!"

Angeal looked on still apathetic and straight faced whilst Genesis posed dramatically clenching his fists in front of him declaring heroically, "All right men! This mission of survival!"

As the group formed a "host-club-hero-circle" Genesis declared, "Our mission soldiers is to trek through this perilous jungle and to rescue Zack the puppy!"

Genesis was the only one moved, Cloud stared of dazedly in his usual manner, Sephiroth was writing in his book, Angeal had no real expression and the triplets looked at the exuberant red head nonchalantly.

**oOoOoOo**

Frogs croaked in the humid air from the leaves of banana plants, sunlight that had filtered down through the tropical trees caught the moisture condensed on the very tip of a date palms fan like leaves, making it glisten and shine before it fell into the path of a flip-flop graced foot.

The host club, minus Zack, trekked through the 'mock' jungle, birds called overhead as their footsteps made soft thumping sounds on the fern covered floor. Their exposed skin (especially the alabaster white of the Remnant brothers chests) and brightly coloured shorts contrasting with the greens and browns around them.

Genesis muttered to himself face serious, "This place really is the same as a real jungle."

Cloud muttered under his breath in response, "Yeah I have been hearing some unnerving animal calls too."

Loz grinned and spoke confidently, "Those animal calls—"

"Can't possibly be real!" Kadaj finished grinning confidently.

"Can they?" Yazoo asked looking slightly less confident than his brothers at his declaration.

Sephiroth in his usual manner merely replied, glasses flashing in the low light, even though the sun was high in the sky, "Well the Akumu group strives for authenticity in every way."

Cloud ignored the conversation in favor of studying Angeal's expression thinking to himself, _Hewley-sempai is always so straight faced, I can't tell what he's thinking! Though I'm sure even though he looks calm he's probably worrying frantically about Zack…_

A heavy thud surprised the group as they turned back to spy Angeal sitting upon the ground rubbing his side; he had slipped on a banana peel and fallen backwards.

The triplets looked horrified as they murmured in sync, "Hewley-sempai, is acting as clumsy as the boss!"

If Genesis hadn't been so shocked he would have sent back and angry retort but as he was openly gawking at the fact his old friend had tripped and fallen so carelessly he barely even registered the insult.

As Angeal picked himself up Cloud watched with a fond smile, _just as I thought he must be frantic on the inside with worry._

Cloud looked up as the little light they had faded leaving a strange artificial twilight, as he looked up Cloud spied dark clouds gathering overhead, Sephiroth commented offhandedly looking at his wrist watch, it was understated and yet it was most likely far more expensive than Cloud's home,

"Ahh it seems its time for the squall."

**oOoOoOo**

The group took shelter in yet another beach hut styled shack, just as they ducked for cover the first drops fell, within moments soaking the ground, as Cloud sat upon one of the wooden benches inside of the hut, he asked mildly more to himself than to anyone else, "Hewley-Sempai is awful close to Zack isn't he? Are they childhood friends?"

Kadaj looked at him (as he and the other two were standing close enough to hear Clouds whisper) before saying surprised, "you mean you don't know? That they're cousins I mean?"

Cloud looked at him startled, "Cousins? They do look similar I suppose…"

Sephiroth spoke lowly from Clouds left; he was leaning against one of the wooden posts that kept the roof up as the shack had only half high walls, "The Hewley have served the Fair for generations…"

Cloud made a noise of surprise as he placed a finger upon his chin in thought:

_xXxXxXx Cloud's inner mind theatre xXxXxXx_

_Angeal stood in front of Zack head bowed in servitude one hand placed upon his heart as though he had just received an order; he was dressed in the garb of a Northern crater butler (4) black tails, navy waist coat, crisp white cotton shirt, black slacks and snow white Gloves adorned him, with a silver pocket watch in the tailed suit's front pocket resting in place in front of the dark blue silk hanky folded neatly placed there._

_Zack was grinning from his place seated upon a lavish Georgian chair hands folded upon one of his crossed legs, an expensive tailored suit gracing his form, a dark purple cravat about his throat with a single pin in place, the little diamond frog glistening in the firelight of the magnificent room fit for the most lavish of earls and dukes._

_xXxXxXx End! XD xXxXxXx_

Loz spoke quietly to Cloud, "Two generations ago, the families became relatives by marriage, so the master servant relation ship died out—"

Yazoo murmured almost inaudibly, "Even so, Angeal had always made a point to look out for Zack, that though is probably because Angeal was Zack's martial arts teacher."

Cloud seemingly not hearing Yazoo's final point, as he was lost in thought, staring at the pensive Angeal who was gazing out over the rain soaked jungle, Genesis spoke behind them quietly but no less dramatically than usual,

"Must get his blood going. The blood of a servant flows like a mighty river through his veins!"

As Genesis posed in a lamenting fashion, the triplets producing handkerchiefs from nothingness and bawled falsely, "What a beautiful story, I'm so touched!"

Cloud rolled his eyes muttering tonelessly, "I wouldn't call it a "beautiful story""

_I'm not sure I understand all this blood and loyalty business, but Hewley-sempai seems to think and awful lot of Zack doesn't he?_

Cloud carefully padded over to the forlorn boy and placed a gentle hand upon Angeal's bicep, Angeal turned to look down at the Chocobo look-a-like who was peering up at him earnestly, before speaking,

"Zack will be all right, he grew up in this kind of place didn't he? Besides he's tougher than he looks and if he gets hungry there's lots of banana's around right?"

Genesis and the Remnants gawked, Genesis muttered, "Now, now…." Seemingly gob smacked, Loz murmured to his brothers worried, "How is Angeal going to react to that?"

Cloud looked up blinking innocently as a hand was placed upon his head gently and his golden spikes ruffled softly, Angeal looked down at the blond boy, who had so earnestly tried to make him feel better, and smiled slightly eyes warm and kind as he nodded with an affirmative, "Ahh"

As Genesis looked onto the scene he could almost see sparkles about the two, before he gasped at his horrific epiphany, "WAIT DON'T TELL ANGEAL'S AFTER MY SPOT AT CLOUD'S DADDY?"

Kadaj sighed and grumbled mutinously, "No one would want that title but you boss…"

Yazoo nodded placing a hand on his cheek and stage whispered to his brothers mock shuddering, "Its kinda creepy actually…"

Loz snickered "You're a big-o pervert!"

And thus the three brothers chorused, "You're a big-o pervert" whilst Genesis fumed raving wildly flailing, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BIG-O PERVERT?"

Sephiroth frowned and (ignoring his companions) reached into his pocket and retrieved his expensive phone, sighing as he heard Genesis yelling, "Shut up!" rolling his eyes he flipped the phone open and pressed one of the keys for speed dial, as the phone rang he placed it to his ear the sleek silver gleaming in the dim light.

"Hello, we have a somewhat troubling situation that has occurred,"

**oOoOoOo**

Angeal looked up seeing that it had stopped raining, the sky had cleared, cerulean blue encompassed the roof of the park as gleaming raindrops slid down dark waxy leaves of the exotic plants.

Angeal pushed the leafy branches of a large rhododendron out of his path as he made his way south in the park determinedly, Cloud ran after him calling frantically, "Wait Hewley, Sir! Zack is in the other direction!"

Angeal paused momentarily not looking back at Cloud, as he murmured, "No he went this way."

Cloud sweat dropped arm still out stretched from where he had reached for Angeal's arm, _I guess this is what you call natural instinct?_

Shaking his head Cloud called, "Wait Sir! It's too dangerous to go alone! I'll come with you!" Cloud then ran after his Sempai, who had made a considerable head start whilst Cloud was lost in thought.

**oOoOoOo **

Cloud followed Angeal though the forest sighing at his fellow hosts fast pace (one Cloud doubted he could match even at a fast jog, it must be nice to be so tall) he froze when he heard a twig snap behind him, he looked around only to spy a large Niebel dragon looking him straight in the eye, Cloud froze terrified as the gnarled snout curled upwards in a sickening imitation of a grin, revealing two rows of wickedly sharp poison dripping teeth.

Terrified azure looked into reptilian burnt orange.

Cloud legged it, thinking frantically,_ Why the hell is there a Niebel dragon in a 'mock' Gongagan paradise?_

**oOoOoOo**

Cloud attempted to climb over a log wider than he was tall, as he managed to pull himself over the most covered bark, that was oil slick with condensed moisture from the humid air, Cloud looked over to the other side only to realise there was an army of Gongagan frogs marching across his path on the other side.

Cloud shuddered as hundreds of beady black eyes stared unblinkingly up at him, before carefully climbing backwards the way he came.

**oOoOoOo**

Cloud sighed as he walked along the mossy path as he gently pushed the leaves of a palm out of the way, he looked down when he did not feel his foot hitting solid earth, still holding the branch of the palm, before yelping and jumping backwards dramatically when he realised he nearly walked off a cliff into a large pool of water filled with rather ravenous looking crocodiles.

**oOoOoOo**

Angeal tuned when he heard Clouds yelp, spying the terrified blond being cornered by yet another Gongagan frog, he murmured the Chocobo impersonators name in a worried tone, "Cloud"

Cloud looked up as a shadow loomed above him, blinking innocently as he was lifted by strong arms and held up against Angeal's chest, cradled in the crook of a single arm effortlessly.

As Angeal walked on off into the dense jungle, Cloud smiled to him self blushing slightly at the close proximity to Angeal's chest, _that's the first time he ever called be by my name! I can't help but feel a little glad…_

**oOoOoOo**

"Yes thank you. At once please."

Sephiroth snapped his phone shut and turned towards the raving Genesis who was blushing brilliantly and almost had smoke coming out of his ears, the triplets were doing a strange war chant dancing around Genesis caroling "Pervert" in time to a beat.

"My family's private police force is going to form a search party to find Zack, the best thing we can do is wait at the main gate."

Sephiroth looked around the hut quizzically, "where are Angeal and Cloud?"

**oOoOoOo**

Flashing red sirens whirred to life their screeching call resonating around the black painted barracks, as the summoning alarm was rung in the "Akumu tropical aqua garden's administrations head quarters".

As the Akumu family private police, the SOLDIER that Sephiroth was the general of, marched in double time donning full battle uniform, collecting their machine guns and sliding wickedly sharp military issue knives into their holsters, a authoritative voice barked,

"Emergency activation order, emergency activation order. General Sephiroth's friend has gone missing in the Akumu family Tropical Aqua Park the target is a childlike young man that had spiky hair. Repeat the target is a childlike young man with spiky hair; your orders are to retrieve the target and eliminate all suspicious looking figures. Do not show any mercy repeat do not show any mercy."

The glowing eyed Mako enhanced SODIERS of the Akumu group were on the march.

**oOoOoOo**

Angeal and Cloud walked through the jungle in a comfortable silence no words were needed, Cloud was carried effortlessly by Angeal, Cloud rested his head against Angeal's shoulder the rhythmic movement of being carried was lulling him into a doze.

Cloud lazily opened one eye and raised an eyebrow at the glowing red dot tracked on Angeal's heart, Angeal seemingly sensing something amiss froze and turned, eyes widening fractionally as he took up a defensive martial arts form.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and half a dozen SOLDIERS abseiled through the ceiling faces concealed by the three-eyed face-concealing visors, they landed with heavy thuds in a circle around the two boys, guns tracked solely upon Angeal.

"Target confirmed."

The SOLDIERS stared at the scene the "childlike young man with spiky hair" General Sephiroth's friend was trapped in the arms of a suspicious man who seemed to be physically restraining him. Orders confirmed, No mercy.

Two of the SOLDIERS, in their regulation uniform all black except for the red lenses of the three-eyed helmets and the golden crest of Akumu family embroidered across the left arm, nodded at each other before the same SOLDIER from before spoke,

"Target has been apprehended by a suspicious figure, taking the assailant into custody."

**oOoOoOo**

Sephiroth started as though he had a sudden realisation, _perhaps I should have told them that their target was childlike in personality not appearance…"_

Shrugging he dismissed the thought.

**oOoOoOo**

The leader of the SOLDIERS surrounding Angeal and Cloud yelled, "You there! Release the boy or we will result to using force."

As the SOLDIERS trained their machine guns of Angeal Cloud attempted to intervene, "Hey wait a sec—" he was interrupted when a strong hand gripped his upper arm roughly in an attempt to drag him from Angeal's grip, at Clouds pained cry Angeal's eyes narrowed and he struck the visor clad mans face with the heal of his palm sending the man flying.

The SOLDIERS looked around startled by their twitching companion 20 yards away face first in a bush, the leader spoke again, "Target is resisting prepare top use force!"

A voice called from the tree top canopy, "Angeal, Spiky-head move out the way!"

With a Tarzan (5) like cry shadowy figure launched itself from the highest branches of the trees as it hurtled towards the ground only flashes of yellow and blue swimming trunks could be seen by those on the ground.

A foot collided with the leader of the SOLDIERS helmeted face, the man crumple instantly as the figure of Zack did a summersault to land upon his feet.

Zack grinned as the other SOLDIERS yelled and turned to face him, yelling to their companions, "Get this one too!" before Zack launched himself at them, Cloud watched sweat dropping as Zack threw men twice his size over his shoulders and knocked, what looked to be hardened warriors, unconscious with lightning fast martial arts moves, Angeal on the other hand looked on the scene of chaos apathetically.

As the final man fell to Zack's fist, the puppy straightened up from his crouched position before turning and declaring with a wide grin one arm out stretched with his index finger pointing upwards, "You guys should be more careful! Picking on my friends is a No-no!"

Cloud sweat dropped as Angeal patted Zack on the head, before murmuring, "You left gaps in your defense, pup"

Zack grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, any reply he might of made was lost as a distraught Genesis threw him self at the oblivious and unsuspecting blond yelling, "CLOUD!

Genesis seemingly gaining control of himself, embraced the expressionless Cloud from behind crushed the blonde into his arms murmuring reverently, "Cloud I was so worried about you, my darling."

You could almost see the sparkles.

The Remnants poked the prone SOLDIERS and Loz whistled before saying, "Was this Zack's work by any chance? He must have been holding back!"

Genesis pulled a pained face his arms instinctively releasing Cloud who was pinching the red heads hand whilst looking at Loz surprised, "Holding back?"

Kadaj nodded and answered for his brother, "Yeah didn't you know? Angeal's been training Zack in martial arts for years, Zack is now the national champion!"

Yazoo grinned, "Angeal had the title for two years, which is still ahead of Zack but now only holds the title in dueling with a buster sword."

Cloud blinked, _what's a buster sword?_ Loz nodded continuing, "All heirs to prominent families learn martial arts and Sephiroth would probably be the highest ranked fighter out of all the families but for some "unknown" reason can never find the time to take part in competitions!"

Sephiroth smirked (6) and shrugged dismissively letting the jibe pass over him like water off a ducks back.

Cloud gawked, _what's with these darned rich people?_

Genesis trying to regain his dignity asked Zack, "What are you doing here puppy?"

Zack grinned thumbing at his chest, "It didn't take me all that long to reach the end of the current pool so I went to look for you guys!"

"ONE THOUSAND APPOLOGIES! WE DID NOT RECOGNISE YOU!"

The hosts turned to spy all of the SOLDIERS bowing in apology, their voices terrified, "I am a second generation student of the Ishizuka dojo," "I am a third generation of the Okitake dojo!" "I'm a student at the Toodoroki dojo!"

Zack grinned, "Is that so?"

The head SOLDIER continued, "Yes sir! We're so sorry! We were completely unaware that we we're looking for THE Zack Fair and have committed a terrible offence!"

Zack looked confused, "Wait what?"

The SOLDIER ignored him plowing on in his tirade, "Although accidental though it may have been, my dojo will take pride that I had the honor of coming face to face with the great Zackary Fair!"

Zack was gawking at the man, "Hold on who's the great-?"

Cloud felt faint, Zack's character was beyond his comprehension he had had far to many revelations in one day!

Angeal smiled slightly (though it was barely a twitch of the lips) at Zack's antics, before patting Zack on the head and murmuring, "You did a good job in protecting Cloud."

Zack grinned chest swelling with pride as he chirped, "Thanks! I bet you were lonely without me around huh?"

Angeal gave a teasing glance towards the side and the oblivious Cloud, "I wouldn't say that…"

Zack grinned cheekily.

**oOoOoOo**

Crimson waves lapped against the glistening sands of the sunset coloured shore, the light giving everything it touched a shade of crimson, orange or gold, as the host club made their way towards the exit of the strange "nightmare" tropical garden.

Zack grinned before declaring loudly slinging an arm over his Chocobo-boy's shoulder, "We should go to the beach next time! It will be great fun!"

Genesis sighed and flicked his rusted hair dramatically before proclaiming, "_Agonizing for its arrival our wishes become our relief. (7)_ You idiotic puppy!There's no way Cloud would want to do something like that!"

Cloud smiled up at Zack (ignoring Genesis), "I wouldn't mind going to the beach actually."

Cloud gently pulled himself from Zack's one armed hug and turned to take one last look out over the glistening pools silvered fish gleaming gold in the light of the sunset, "I may not like a synthetic environment like this, as it isn't any fun but the beach would be nice, its pretty there."

Genesis instantaneously smitten with the whimsical look on Clouds face declared, "Right then! Next time we shall go to the beach!"

Zack grinned as he glomped Angeal, "The beach should be a lot of fun right?"

Angeal smiled in agreement.

* * *

**1)No I haven't foolishly placed a capital letter in the wrong bit of a sentence (as I have been known to do) the Plane is a type of tree, don't believe me, Google the "London plane"**

**2)Yes, yes I know I couldn't help the reference; I loved the thunderbirds as a kiddie, er…. Just encase it is copy written**

**3)Japanese name the English way round!**

**4)Northern crater- England **

**5)Copy written! Better to be safe than sorry?**

**6)I really, really, really need to find a new adjective! I say someone smirked every other sentence! *****Glooms in corner*******

**7)Loveless quotes, there sort of running out so I'm probably going to have to start making some up XD**

**PLEASE REVIEW! XD it does seriously make me update quicker!**


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